#givemeamountain

[illuminatedraindrops]

I see I have some The Last Five Years friends out there.

Heyya. :)

[doriangrayshopsatforever21]

givemeamountain replied to your post:I seriously can’t handle life lately. I know it’s...

Call me anytime seriously day or night my phone is always on me. If you’re ever feeling scared or like you need to talk your feelings out or you need to prevent yourself from doing something, if I can help at all, please please please call me. A lot of people really, really love you. It’s hard when everyone doesn’t live near each other but there are other ways to communicate. We love you. Believe that we’re here for you.

Thanks bby. That really means a lot to me. I might need to hit you up at some point. It's so hard being at home because it's so hostile and I can't just cry in my room or slam shit in the kitchen and bitch to my roommates or run around the block a few times like I could when I was in Newark. I literally have no agency or means of escape when I'm at home (can't drive and my area isn't walkable). So not only is my health stuff working against me, but I'm also in a really bad living situation and I don't have the "I'll be okay as long as I can survive til September" thing like I have for the past 4 years. 

I know I have so many friends who care about me, but it's different when I could call you to come over, you know? Nights have just been rough lately. I'll be fine in the morning. I love you.

[doriangrayshopsatforever21]

snakesgotaleg replied to your post:My brother is going through a weird farmer teen/...

In fairness, at least a dress is like 90% of an outfit - not an add on to a 10 dollar, optional accessory. Also, CONGRATULATIONS ON GRADUATING I MISS YOU

This is true. I just can't stop thinking of Beyond Therapy and huge belt buckles being overcompensation haha

And I miss you so much! I was devastated that I didn't see you or givemeamountain before I left. Shit got super cray with roommates (well, mostly one but I still love her) becoming mega passive aggressive, my dad just showing up at my apartment and not telling me so I couldn't mentally prepare for his visits, my one boss trying to crush me, sadness about leaving my other job, health issues and not being able to finish stuff for classes, one professor having a mega vendetta against me and trying to give me a zero for my final because it was late (even though I went through the dean of students), not hearing back from grad schools, etc.

Basically I've been trying not die but I think I might be visiting DE tomorrow (ride and place to sleep pending). I know David wants lots of beach trips and I want to go camping, so I'll see you all of the time (hopefully lolol).

[doriangrayshopsatforever21]

givemeamountain replied to your post:I swear my dad’s roommate buys the loudest bags of...

Your dad’s roommate is the absolute worst. I’m sorry it’s so bad there. You’ll make it out soon <3

Thanks bby. I'm sorry I didn't see you before I left Delaware but I might be back for a day or two on Tuesday. Things have been so fucking crazy and upsetting and I just need to do something. I kind of get scared when I get in moods like this because I can become very destructive, but I think I've definitely improved my coping mechanisms over the past year (avoiding relapsing after what happened last semester was like a fucking miracle). I'm trying to stay sane, but I haven't heard back from grad schools and everything is in flux. I hope I get to see you soon.

[doriangrayshopsatforever21]

zombiesarejerks replied to your post:givemeamountain replied to your post:My roommate’s...

You say “I’m not a fan. That sort of humor makes me uncomfortable.” It’s expressive a specific distaste without attacking something they like.

That would have been a smart response. I guess I've just been in that argument so many times that I'm just fed up with people and immediately pounce on them.

givemeamountain replied to your post:givemeamountain replied to your post:My roommate’s...

Yeah, I understand. It’s hard when the guy’s visiting for a short time and you want to make him comfortable. Sometimes things just come out wrong, but everyone’s human and things just get said. It will be okay. Your roommate still loves you :)

I know. I've just been feeling really weird lately and I should probably just not interact with people for a few more days haha. I'm becoming a bit of a hermit and these snow days really aren't helping.

[doriangrayshopsatforever21]

givemeamountain replied to your post:My roommate’s boyfriend is visiting from Florida...

Sharing your opinion does not make you a bad person. You have good reason to hate Daniel Tosh and that’s okay.

I know I have the right to voice how I feel about things, but it was one of my first conversations with the guy and fighting with him really wasn't necessary. He's here for a week and I really do feel bad on my roommate's behalf because I kind of created a hostile environment, I guess. I tried telling her I was sorry and she said it was fine, but I don't know.

And I feel like I shouldn't even bother trying to explain why I dislike people like Tosh/ Tucker Max/ etc because I'm not going to convince anyone that they're horrible people and those debates just make me angry and upset. It sucks feeling like I shouldn't voice "unpopular opinions" because it makes things awkward and no one is going to listen to me anyway. 

[doriangrayshopsatforever21]

givemeamountain replied to your post:Aw I have the best friends. Even though I made...

Dinner partyyyyyyyyy!

The menu includes chicken, butternut squash, banana bread, and booze.

[doriangrayshopsatforever21]

Aw I have the best friends. Even though I made plans, got everything ready, was potentially psychotic, and then cancelled said plans (over the course of half an hour), Melissa loves me and helped me figure out what was real. Now I'm happily eating yogurt and planning our dinner party for tomorrow night.

Things are tough, but I have a good support system in most areas and am working on fixing the areas that are lacking. This isn't going to be like sophomore year or last year because I know better now and I'm healthy. I hope everyone has a Melissa in their life.