#gm159

[gravemushrooms]

i’d like to believe hell is real because it’d mean i couldn’t escape this life unpunished

[gravemushrooms]

i didn't know constant earworm (music playing in your mind repetitively) was a thing other people didn't experience. i've had omodaka's cantata no. 147 playing in my mind continuously for like 2 weeks now

[gravemushrooms]

ok so the term for one of the collections of behaviors and mental phenomena i've been dealing with for my entire life is adhd. something about that seems absurd and wrong, like i can't possibly have that. that's not me; i'm not that. this is that long painful process of realization of having a disorder all over again. aaaaaa

[gravemushrooms]

what my professor says: class, be sure to study the pre-lecture so you can follow what’s going on in class what my professor means: i’m an adjunct professor and i don’t give a shit about you or this school and i have no idea how to teach anyone anything. i didn’t get a doctorate so i could lecture to a bunch of kids fresh out of high school. read the pre-lecture because i’m going to give you a clicker quiz in class which i didn’t prepare and is poorly written. when someone points out that none of the answers match the question, i’ll first find your suggestion incredible, and then after i realize i’ve made a mistake i’ll blame it on my colleague from whom i copied the quiz. they don’t pay me enough for this job.

[gravemushrooms]

anything to shut out the hell inside me

[gravemushrooms]

coyotes are noisy tonight

[gravemushrooms]

that thing where the thoughts and feelings change wildly in the span of ten minutes and identity is all over everywhere to the point where i don't know what an i is

[gravemushrooms]

you loosened up this year

no actually i just tried even harder to conform to what i believe you expect and want from me while also realizing it's nearly impossible for me to get into trouble