https://changelop.wordpress.com/2016/11/27/new-growth-who-what-and-where
Last week we kind of covered a lot of ground! I got some great feedback and appreciate all you readers! You are making one of my passions come alive, and motivating me to keep moving forward. Which I hope to be giving back.
We looked at our question words; the 5 W’s and are leading up to the mysterious How. Just to recap:
Why and When were covered and we identified why you need change and the importance of having a plan first. The why is unique to each person although there are some categories that capture people in the same boat. You can be in the same boat and have different circumstances and situations at play. Identifying the need of a plan is the bulk of the when. Too often we dive into change without knowing how to swim, and then face a strong current. So to say, striking when the time right, or at least being strategic.
Let’s break into this week though!
Well this is easy to answer at first, and then becomes increasingly difficult as we explore other options. I am a heavy advocate of having an arsenal of different answers to every question.
Answer 1: You decide change. It is always you, will always be you and was always you. You decide to get up in the morning and you decide to go to sleep. I have decided many times to go to sleep with a giant report due the next day and less than 20% of it done; this was my choice. Using words like “choose” “decide” and “want” will direct you to implementing change.
But wait, the first answer was so simple! How is there another answer? There is a different answer because too often, we do not hold ourselves to be the director of change. The answer opposing the thought process that you are the decider of change, is, everyone else is.That is answer 2.
“I can’t change jobs because I wasn’t taught to do anything else.”
“I can’t make time for the things I enjoy because there isn’t enough time in the day.”
“I need to make more but I can’t because the boss doesn’t realize my potential.”
All of these can be true, and are credible to argue with. The root cause isn’t exposed though, this is the surface argument. This is reactive, and believe it or not comes full circle, because our answers live together. You are deciding to allow everyone else to direct the course of your life.
But, Lori, you don’t understand. You are right, I don’t. Because I haven’t met these people, I don’t understand their influence on you. We have in one sentence come back to the core. “I don’t understand their influence on you.” This sounds mean, I know it does. Let’s test this theory, and please understand the intent is not to snub you or your friends/family. Yet, take a look at your Facebook. How many complaints are about how your friends and family are being affected by outside sources? In the comments do you see people feeding into it? Do you see the original poster rejecting positivity or solutions that are offered?
Stephen Covey offered to us, “Response-able”. A breakdown of a word we use in pride on resumes and in work or family environments. But we shun its most basic interpretation. Who makes change in your life will always be you, whether you are response-able or not… is also up to you.
We know the who, the why and then when… we’ve tackled this biggest hurdles. I promise it gets easier from here. What change do we make? This is up to you. It relies heavily on your knowledge and perception of your particular situation. But, you’ve been armed now. Knowing that you make the changes and call the shots, and knowing why you want these change to happen mixed together with a plan for when. You are setup for success!
I start by identifying my weaknesses. I start with my why and try to find the root of each problem; each one comes down to me. An action I did or did not take, and realizing how next time, I will handle myself differently. How about some examples?
I am unable to do all the things that I need or want to do. This is causing me to feel unfulfilled and unhappy. ß After work I watch TV and make dinner, over the course of 4 hours, I expect more from myself.
This is a reactive statement. Which I followed by the root cause of where my time goes. So, in analyzing the why, we will make it proactive and take responsibility!
I will not turn on the TV, until; my daily ‘to-do’ is completed. On this list I will have at least one thing that will make my day fulfilling which I choose to make a top priority.
I choose to renegotiate my time after work. This will cut out the root cause of laziness and I am using this time to do something that I enjoy.
This is my what, I am changing my time management. I could have gone more broad and stated I will manage my time better. But, by giving me something physical to work with (to-do list) I have something to measure with. Make your what measurable, and physical if at all possible.
Where Does this Change Happen?
Change happens everywhere. Imagine that every step you take is in a direction leading you to your goal. Take every step with purpose, and keep in mind your ability to choose your response.
Become mindful of: your steps, where you are going, and what you will do after. Ask why these are important and who they may affect. The Where being the last piece to the puzzle is because it is literally, all around you. Make changes in your home, your relationship, your car for your commute and even at work. Does this mean you should walk in and begin directing everyone else? No, because this change is about you, not everyone else.
In your home, you can change physical things most easily. I change the setup of my room often even with just minor changes. But, I take into consideration that this is not just my room. At my work I make less physical changes. I move with confidence and purpose, even when I’m not feeling it. I do it because I want to do better. And while my curiosity never subsides, my intentions in leading with purpose do. I change my posture, my tone when I speak. When this gets too exhausting, I excuse myself, or offer to work on a project that is a lone venture. Not because I want to be alone, but I am choosing to do so because the changes that I make in my work place for me, can be draining, and I choose to recharge. This is where change happens, all around us, in every step.
Well you have all the tools, and some of these may be hard to swallow I hope the intention has come across clearly. I’m here to help. The world is tough, and you can find compassion and judgment in the same person. On your journey you will surely come across people attempting to put your goals down. They may say you are unable of changing or developing. How you make change is one step at a time, for you. Using your plan, acting with responsibility and bringing change to every hallway you walk down. Make your why a driving sense of direction, your compass to your end goal.
This week, I will be posting a variety of tools that will hopefully prove to be useful. While each is my own, there is strong inspiration from a variety of sources. The action planning tools can be found in their truest form in “The Passion Plan” by Richard Chang. We will discuss how to make change a part of your daily life more next week and start an 8 step challenge December! This means two posts a week and a transition to a more motivational and inspirational journey. For now, I leave you with the following words:
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
