Leila's Week 2 and 3 catch up
The last few weeks have been...rough. I had to finish my annual review, with the 6th manager in 4 years. After a few years of not getting any advancement, the annual review process is stressful. I ended that week with a low-grade anxiety attack that had built over the week and got avoided for lack of time. Those are HARD.
Then the following week, I get my review, it's looking good, aaaaaaaand we had layoffs at work. People I know and work closely with, people I support. It's so stressful, and the silence from management ends up deafening, so you have no idea if more are coming, and the nerves just get so much worse. Then we ended up dealing with a mess at work that made me nervous that, hey maybe they'll see this as a mistake and get rid of me too! They haven't, and it looks fine, but the stress gets overwhelming.
And finally, the weight loss has been slow and the initial weight loss may not have been as great as it looked at first. It becomes...demoralizing. Here I am working out and eating so well, and nothing works, while everyone else seems to succeed so easily.
But even with all that, I've stuck to eating well. Really well, in fact. I've tried to limit eating out, and I'm trying to make meals for myself in advance so that I can bring lunch to work. And I'm working out a lot more. In fact, starting swimming for cardio has been such a great step for me. I've missed swimming, and even though I'm struggling to get yardage in, I've realized I can't compare myself to 16-year old me. It'll take time to get my speed and endurance back, but in the meantime, I keep swimming and working. Maybe one day I'll get 5K yards! And the house cleaning has been okay. I've kept up with picking up after myself as I go, and I finally broke through the giant pile of laundry.
Goals for this week - gym 3 times minimum (other than the trainer). Nightly stretching and foam roller. And eat like a real person and stop missing meals because I'm too busy.
