#goblin cooking

[gogogadgetgolem]

For dinner I wanted to make myself a bagel with cream cheese, smoked salmon, red onion, and capers. I thought maybe I'd mix the cream cheese with a little horseradish and add some pickled beets on there too.

But. I'm autistic. And as such, one of my Fun Quirks is that any meal I *can* eat from a bowl, I will. Something is just comforting about eating from a bowl. So I decided to toast the bagel and spread the cream cheese mixed over it. Then chop up the bagel and throw it into a bowl with chopped up other ingredients and eat it that way. I feel like this is also a good idea cause one of the hazards of eating a bagel with lox is that sometimes the salmon just slides off and you just get a mouthful of salmon. Same with the red onions and capers.

My husband calls it an Ashkenazi salad. Lolol

Just made it. I will let yall know how it goes.

[gogogadgetgolem]

So. I love pickles. Pickled anything and I’m there. Carrots, cucumbers, onions, green beans, beets, eggs, Mr. Disgruntled jokingly says I run on vinegar. And they’re expensive. Especially since my faves come from a local farmstand and they close for the season from December to April. (It was a hard winter when I didn’t buy extra last year lol) Despite this, I’ve never made pickles myself. Even quick fridge pickling!

I was away on vacation all last week. While gone I had had a thought to make a burger called “I Like Pickles”. It would have dill pickle chips, pickled red onions, and a pickled garlic aioli. I told my husband about it and said “sounds tasty! You can literally make that” and I was like holy shit I COULD make that. And that set off a pickling hyperfixation.

We got home yesterday, I have 3 more days off before I go back to work. Red onions, cucumbers and garlic are now quick pickling in my fridge.

Hopefully these are good and I can save some money, and unlock a new hobby!

[gogogadgetgolem]

I made a gift for Mr. Golem. He’s been Going Through It. So I wanted to make something nice. This time I did cut up poblano peppers, habanero peppers, pineapple. With a brine of brown sugar, white sugar, apple cider vinegar, the juice from the pineapple (I used canned pineapple in pineapple juice no sugar added so I could add the juice) salt, black peppercorns, and crushed red pepper. I’m hoping it’s good!

[gogogadgetgolem]

More jam!

I made a regular strawberry jam and blackberry strawberry jam today. I’m bringing a jar of each along with some pickled beets to my family when I see them next.

[gogogadgetgolem]

When life makes you cancel plans, make pickles.

My husband and I are both sick so we had to cancel all of our Memorial Day weekend plans (a nice dinner with a friend tonight, dinner with my family tomorrow, and seeing my husbands friends for a cookout on Monday) I’m on the upswing from this cold that had me knocked out for the last few days. While my poor husband is in the thick of it. I feel well enough to be a bit bored, but too drained to do anything that takes actual energy. Soooo…goblin cooking time.

I made pickles. Pickled beets, bread and butter pickles (don’t judge me I love all pickles) and zesty garlic pickles! They’re all in the fridge now, and can’t wait to break into these bad boys when they’re done.

I plan to make more jam tomorrow.

[gogogadgetgolem]

My most ambitious potion yet! Strawberry jam! I’ve never made jam before, so I’m so excited! I did 2lbs of strawberries, a cup and pinch extra sugar, zest of a whole lemon, and juiced that same lemon. Then let it it sit in the pot off the heat for about 20 mins. Then put on medium low for about 15 mins stirring frequently, then increased the heat to medium and let it come to a boil and used a potato masher to smush the strawberries further as it cooked. Let it cook stirring almost constantly for about 15-20 mins until it was the texture it needed it to be. I read you can tell it’s done if you drop some of the liquid on a frozen plate and if it doesn’t move back once you put your finger through it, it’s done. So I did it until it then, and it was goopy off the spoon and then put into a hot and clean jar. Let it cool to room temp with a lid on it and stuck it in the fridge. It’s a refrigerator jam so it’ll last a few weeks in the fridge. I took a taste and omg. It’s the best strawberry jam I’ve ever tasted honestly. It’s bright and sweet but it’s not too sweet and so fricken good.

I’m seeing my family in a few weeks, and making more to bring to my mom.

I told my mil I was doing this today, and she got all excited to tell me she knows how to waterbath can and was like “if you like it, come over and I’ll show you how to can!”

*feral goblin noises*

[gogogadgetgolem]

lololol so my husband has left for the day, visiting his buddy. Goblin Cooking Mode™️activated. From the brain that gave me Bagel and Lox chopped salad, bowl of spinach with everything from my fridge, the "I like Pickles" burger, and the white rice with peanut chili sauce and chicken and spinach came...this. I began making these before I finished having the idea and that happened about five seconds after he left, cause my husband is honestly most of my impulse control tbh.

First I candied some raw pecans I had in the oven (whisked up an egg white and tossed the pecans in to coat. In a separate bowl I mixed up some cinnamon, white sugar and brown sugar and salt) dumped the sugar mix into the nuts and tossed to coat. Threw on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and baked at 300F for 40 mins, tossing lightly after 20 mins.

While the pecans cooled, I pitted some dates I had lying around and put in some peanut butter. Then I put a pecan into each and melted some leftover chocolate chips I had from another recipe and coated the dates. Then I crushed up some of the cooked and cooled sugar mix (it's crunchy like brittle) and sprinkled that on top. They're in the fridge now setting.

I will be feasting on these later :)

[magigoblin]

Goblin kitchens may not be what one would expect.

Lots of ceramic and wood, and less metal than humans seem to use. Gobbo thought it was a dwarf’s kitchen the first time seeing all those shiny metal bits! Most of the metal you’ll see in a typical goblin kitchen is salvaged or scavenged from something else (There is a strong cultural belief among us that reducing and reusing are more important than recycling!) and we just use it till we can’t figure out a use for it anymore.

Windows aren’t usually involved but they can be. Enough candles can light things up well enough, maybe a lantern if you wanna be fancy! A storage barrel or two, maybe some glass jars for the dried stuff. It gets dizzying sifting through huge cabinets and cupboards for things, so it’s common to store things lower down and to not keep as much of a food around at once. But there will ALWAYS be a dedicated storage for leftovers. Goblins love leftovers. It’s the scavenging instincts.

And whatever you do, NEVER touch a goblin granny’s favorite wooden spoon.