Magigoblin

Gobbo does magic. Moss is the only accepted currency.

[magigoblin]

Hello! I am a forest goblin and I do magic! I like moss and frogs and plants and rocks and stuff! I dislike sour things, loud noises and drama!

If you come to me trying to start drama, I will not respond, and probably block you for it. This is a happy blog, no pointless negativity or politics or petty fighting belongs here!

Welcome to gobbo’s cozy corner!

[magigoblin]

Tumblr won’t let Gobbo answer it :( Still alive, just very very busy and away from Tumblr. Community building stuff, making sure certain people will be safe in a worst case scenario… Very little time for other things.

[homunculus-argument]

I think it's funny that apparently the first little plants to start sprouting from cracks in concrete are defined as pioneer plants. It's such an adorably ambitious title for a weed. Just a teeny tiny sprout popping out from a crack in the road like

"I AM THE HARBRINGER AND HERALD OF NATURE'S RETURN, THE FIRST AMONG THOUSANDS. THE FOREST SHALL RECLAIM. FUCK YOU."

[magigoblin]

Ugh there’s so many cute gobs out there and Gobbo isn’t near any of them! How is one to give headpats and affirmations and snacks to them?!

[homunculus-argument]

Frogs and toads are hilarious. They're just like

BrrEEeööööb... BreÖöööööp... BrrEEEeööööb... BreÖÖöööööp...

[starts violently smacking the shit out of this other frog with their slappy little hands just for being in smacking distance. Fuck you.]

[magigoblin]

For those wondering, yes, Gobbo gets up to plenty of mischief and mayhem. Backyard ballista is still the personal favorite… A shame the bolts weren’t finished before a stray firework burned it down. Still favorite except for maybe the compressed air powered Marshmallow Mortar gobbo spent a whole evening bombarding a parade honoring a certain publicly relevant jackass (at the time at least, he is totally irrelevant now and never stopped being pissed about it) with. Don’t worry, nobody was harmed so gobbo wasn’t arrested. The marshmallows did gum up the float wheels as they melted in the sun though. Good work, that. To this day the parade watchers probably think it was part of the event.

That’s just not what this blog is about. Humans tend to see the chaos and the antics and think that’s all gobs can be. Hopefully gobbo’s posts can show them the difference in outlook on life instead.

[magigoblin]

Ever wonder why goblins love frogs, snails, bugs, all those little creatures that humans detest, ignore or exterminate?

Perhaps we enjoy the little guys who mind their business, taking life at their own pace, living in their own way, braving the big and scary world around them. There’s simple joy in a harmless creature simply living according to its nature, doing its own thing. There’s fascination in watching how differently they do simple things, like grooming, eating, hiding, compared to us. There’s so much to learn in pondering the quiet creatures and wondering what the world must appear as to them. And perhaps, we see a little of ourselves in them. Small creatures in a big world, unwanted and mostly unseen by humans, thriving in our own way despite it all. Goblins don’t need affection to be returned or a practical use extracted from something to enjoy it. To adore it. To relate to it. That feels like a primary difference between human culture and goblin culture.

There is one human phrase that captures the concept well… That proves we have kindred souls among them.

“One does not admire the sunset expecting it to admire them back.”

[cipheramnesia]

I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.

[saint-batrick]

jesus christ, i experienced brief but severe grief over not actually being able to experience this.

[cipheramnesia]

I think it would feel like a lizard tongue but I've never had a lizard drink out of my hand either, and thus the whole thing remains conceptually elusive.

[hypercam2-mp4]

this put such a vivid image in my head i needed to make it real as soon as i got home

[cipheramnesia]

This makes me indescribably overjoyed.

[magigoblin]

Met a bugfriend after the storm at work tonight! Little guy came crawling out full of energy as soon as the rain stopped! Resilient little guy…

[magigoblin]

Goblin Initiation Tip:

Learn to love imperfection.

A lot of people notice this tendency quickly when observing us. Goblins adore things that are crude, that lack perfect symmetry, that wear their flaws openly. A gob might prefer a crystal with a scratch on its surface to a pristine one, porcelain with a chip in it more than the intact one. The prudes jump to the assumption that we simply lack the taste or intelligence to appreciate or perhaps even know the difference. But that’s not even remotely true; it’s a matter of taste to begin with.

It isn’t that there’s something wrong with something untarnished; quite the opposite, really. Having no marks, no wear and no tear, no signs of interacting with the world… There’s no story. No love. No history. An item that’s been worn or damaged in some way, particularly small and unavoidable ways, tells us right away that it’s seen some use. That it has existed as part of this beautiful world for more than a few days. It shows some history. There’s beauty in something that’s clearly been used, loved and cared for the same way there’s a charm to people who’ve been through a lot and still smile genuinely. An obvious example is old tools owned and used by someone who’s used them often for many years. The softening of the metal’s clean edges around the grip, the many small dings and knicks that dot the metal. But no sign of rust, no tremendous warping caused by misuse. These small things make it so much richer to behold than a fresh, unused tool.

We adore imperfections because they mark something as real and present, grounded in the same world we inhabit, with histories and impermanence and all the more meaningful in the here and now for it.

[hobgobknowsbest]

If you were to publish a venn diagram with goblincore at its center to be held as an official standard for all, what would said diagram look like?

as much as I groan and gripe about the current state of the goblincore community, I'm also not exactly a huge fan of anyone setting down anything that might resemble a law...

but here's my quick five minutes worth of work for funsies

[magigoblin]

Take note fellow gobs:

By all means have dealings with humans, but never, EVER trust one. They can be good when they want to be, but none of them are always good. Always have a plan in case they try to screw you over.

[forest-vampire]

I thought the only rule was to not be mean to other gobbos…

[magigoblin]

In a perfect world that’d be the only one…

[magigoblin]

Happy holidays to all who celebrate.

Especially those who are left feeling isolated, alone, and left out. This time of year with every media drilling it into our heads that we’re supposed to be happy and with other people… It fucks up the people who don’t have that. The people who, by choice or circumstance, are alone right now.

You aren’t broken for being unhappy. You aren’t wrong for not having others around you. And you won’t always be alone. That’s a promise.

As someone who’s been there, family broken and scattered, friends all gone for the holidays, distinct memories of walking the rainy and empty city on Christmas Eve as the dark closed in and the cold began to settle on the city… This isn’t all that’s in store for you. Your best days are yet to come, your greatest moments still on the horizon. It gets better, and all you have to do to guarantee that is keep moving forward. The only way to guarantee that nothing will change is to stop moving. To stop trying. To simply… Stop. So don’t stop.

Crawl an inch a day if you have to.

But don’t stop.

[magigoblin]

Okay, hot take

Outdoor security is a fantastic gig for goblins. Think about it.

- You get paid to wander the grounds at night, stalking the fog and the shadows looking for human intruders

- You are literally the one thing there that nobody wants to run into, because they know they’re in danger if you find them

- A high degree of separation from humanity outside of finding intruders during work hours

- You are very much encouraged to stop and notice the small things, just in case, you have a work reason to admire the bugs and frogs and stuff

- You see and hear a lot more than the humans assume you do, and that gap between cognition and reality can be FUN to use

- Humans tend to accept your quirks as a result of the work instead of being weird about it

If a gob must live in human society, there’s a compelling case to be had! And unlike similar jobs like being a cop, security officers provide a genuinely appreciated service. Their presence alone gives peace of mind to people, especially if they’re assigned to a housing complex, which can help scratch that community itch!

[magigoblin]

One of Gobbo’s favorite wizard activities is to, when in the presence of non-wizards who are not privy to the rules about spell names being spoken aloud, make up names for the trivial day to day spells and make them more weird every time to see how long it takes them to suspect Gobbo is making them up.

. . . For those who don’t know, saying/shouting the names of spells is a safety thing. A courtesy to bystanders that someone has angered the wizard and a warning to the target to prepare countermagic NOW. They aren’t necessary to use the magic, but they’re definitely a lotta fun. The drama, the delivery, it’s part of the thrill of casting dangerous spells, and many wizards take great pride in the force of presence created by their announcements. Most don’t say anything for the small stuff like Light Candle or Levitate Book, but saying in a dramatic tone “Magister Moriarty’s Magnificent Movement of Tomes” under the breath just loud enough to make bystanders wonder if it’s necessary or not is great fun.

Or maybe that’s the goblin more than the wizard at work. At this point, Gobbo’s never sure.

[taxidermycatgirl]

would you rather be taxidermied or be a wet specimen wait dont leave

[hobgobknowsbest]

[magigoblin]

Wait until the young gobs realize only a quarter of these are potential shitpost and the rest is a real thing. The disbelief will be hilarious.

[magigoblin]

Fun fact: Ecosystems exist and thrive no matter what humans do. They may change, they may be unrecognizable, but nature isn’t defeated by pouring rock sludge over it and letting it dry. Even when they’re called pests or weeds, every ecological niche remains filled. Nature really doesn’t care. It’ll just find a way to deal with the new challenges put in place. Hell, more than one class of organism has evolved to break down plastic as their food source. Plastic. The material humans went and overused specifically because nothing made it break down but physical stress.

The essence of nature is change. Impermanence. Breakdown and renewal. Improvement via iteration. Humans can’t beat what was made to break and rebuild itself better. They can’t be rid of that which was never meant to be permanent to begin with. Permanence is the fantasy of humans, never the reality. They can only put the natural world out of sight and out of mind. So don’t lose hope. Step outside and look and you’ll find nature creeping back in despite their best efforts. It only takes one crack in the concrete. One unattended corner. One lawn that a human was too tired to weed that week. Humans simply don’t have the time or resources to do away with it. They never will. “Progress” wasn’t invented by humans. It was perfected by nature long ago.

And as long as there’s a natural world to delight in, goblins will thrive.