fly
what's been eating me?
the spiderweb of directionality. lostness where you cannot wander. stuck like a fly, at the center of it all and nowhere.
every step counts but in what direction? set off towards the mountains, or the river? towards botany, or the written word? singing in the car, at karaoke. a smaller self sees the mirror as less of a threat. weeps for wasted time.
honesty, honesty. caught throat and tongue like a fish flopping on the boat. how to say what needs to be said:
I hate this. I quit. I loved you but its too late for all this. I'm sorry for the hurt I caused. An apology doesn't undo the damage. I dropped the ball. You dropped the ball. Its forgiven. I don't want to make plans with you. We are not friends. I don't know you. I barely know what friendship means. I've been trapped inside myself for so long I don't know how to do this. I'm not sure I understand. Please repeat the instructions? Don't touch me. I'm uncomfortable. Like that? Less. More. I don't give a fuck anymore. I'll do anything to change my life.













