A collaboration with @alton-gold77
Although the sun was shining, there was still a bitter chill in the spring air as Alton stood outside the Golden Training ground - not that he'd ever let such a thing bother him. Punctuality, on the other hand - or, more accurately, the lack of it - now, that was something that was much more likely to get under his skin. He checked the chunky, expensive silver watch on his wrist. 20 seconds remaining. At that moment, Shawn came sprinting into view; a flurry of flying limbs, his hair blown backwards, skidding to a half right in front of Alton.
"Sorry," he wheezed. "I - ah - late, am I? Stupid alarm - didn't go off."
"Almost late," Alton replied. "I'll overlook it. This time."
He pulled the front door open and ushered Shawn through into the climate-controlled interior, where the younger man instantly burst out into a heavy sweat.
"Thank you for doing this," said Shawn, attempting to dab his brow with the inside of his forearm to little avail. "I really appreciate it."
"No problem, bro," said Alton. "This is brotherhood in action, we look out for each other."
The two of them walked through into the changing room of the players' gym, and Alton leaned up against a bank of lockers, his golden tank top straining with the sheer intensity of his musculature. He looked at Shawn expectantly.
"So what it is," Shawn began. "I mean, I've noticed that we have a lot of big guys on the team. Big guys. And I'm more - well, compact. Which can be good, But I think the team's goign to need more strength with everything that's coming up, and I'm interested in being the best that I can be. So I thought I'd come to you, as my mentor, and as an absolute unit as a human being..."
"...to ask how to get bigger," Alton finished for him. "We can do that. But it's not going to be easy. I hold myself to high standards, and I'm going to expect you to keep up." He cast a critical eye in Shawn's direction. "Can you do that?"
"Absolutely. 100%. 120%, in fact."
"Good, that's what I like to see. Let's get started right away."
They moved through the connecting door into the gym, and Alton let out a grunt of frustration; the place was mess. Whoever had been in here last had broken the cardinal gym rule and not put their appartus back when they'd finished with it - a no-no even at a cheap chain gym, but a grave sin in one used by elite athletes.
"We're gonna have to clean up in here before we do anything else," he growled. "Can't work out clean in a room that's a mess."
Alton and Shawn got to work returning barbells to racks, re-hanging exercise mats in the correct place, gathering towels and ropes and other workout essentials back into their rightful place. As Alton dragged a bench back into its correct spot, he heard Shawn calling out.
"Alton, bro? Do you know where this goes?"
He turned to see his teammate holding up an old-fashioned looking wooden box with ornate patterns inscribed all over it. It couldn't have looked more out of place in this high-tech fitness suit if it were an abacus.
"I've never seen it before," said Alton. He moved in for a closer look, but there were no obviously identifying marks on the box; no clues as to who owned it or where to return it.
Shawn shrugged. "Look inside, maybe?"
Holding the box between them, Alton and Shawn lifted the lid and the whole room was suddenly filled with a blinding, brilliant light. For a couple of seconds both men were aware of their entire bodies aching sharply, and then suddenly there was no sensation at all.
It was Shawn who opened his eyes first, and right away he felt that something was wrong. He couldn't tell where he was, but it definitely wasn't the gym. His eye level seemed lower than usual. He was aware of his body again, but his limbs were weirdly rigid, his joints noticeably immobile. There was a strange, sterile sheen across his vision that distorted everything, as though his entire body was sealed in transparent plastic.
Hold on. His entire body was sealed in transparent plastic.
Shawn attempted to get a better look at his surroundings, only to realise that he couldn't really move his head, which was definitely a problem. He couldn't move his arms or legs either, which was potentially an even bigger problem. He could, just about, move his eyues, and when he rolled them to the left, he realised to his relief that Alton was there right next to him.
Except something was clearly very wrong with Alton. His face looked expressionless. His stubble seemed painted on. His famous muscular torso seemed unusually flat. His entire body seemed like it had been moulded out of plastic in a factory. And then there were his clothes; he'd never seen Alton so covered up before. A formal golden military jacket with epaulettes, a black peaked cap, starchy black trousers and long black boots. And he was holding a rifle.
Oh shit, Alton was a toy soldier.
And if Alton was a toy soldier, then...
Shawn looked down at himself for the first time.
Fuck. He was a toy soldier too.
As Shawn stood there - and he realised now he wasn't 'stood' so much as suspended inside plastic casing - wondering what the hell they were going to do, he heart a faint stirring beside him and realised Alton was finally waking up.
"Alton," Shawn hissed frantically, relieved to discover that at least his vocal cords still worked. "Hey, Alton!"
"Oh God, my head," Alton murmured. "Why does everything feel like I just got tackled by a freight train?"
"I don't know how to explain this," Shawn whispered. "In fact, you know what? Maybe it's easier if you just look down."
"What are you talking about?" Alton replied, but he looked down anyway. There was a moment of stunned silence. "What the fuck--"
"Yeah, we're toy soldiers. No, I don't know why. I realised about 10 seconds ago, and now you know as much as I do."
"We gotta get out of here," Alton asserted.
"How?" Shawn replied. "Can't you feel it? There's plastic all around us."
There was a pause. Shawn heard a snarling sound, followed by a sharp crack and a splitting noise.
"Did... did you just bite the plastic?" Shawn asked.
"You got any better ideas?" Alton retorted. "I made a hole, at least. You do the same, and we keep going, that way we'll make a big enough hole that the structural integrity of this whole thing gives way. Then we get out."
In fairness to Alton, Shawn didn't have any better ideas, so he leaned as far forward as he could and bit into the plastic. Alton carried on doing the same. After a few moments, they'd broken off enough that their faces were free.
"OK, now we're getting somewhere," said Alton, starting to shift his torso back and forth. "Come on, start pushing at it. It'll break, I know it will."
Since Alton had gotten them this far, Shawn did as his mentor suggested, and started angling his little plastic body in ways that the casing clearly wasn't designed for. Sure enough, there was soon a huge crack in the casing across Alton's torso, and with one final contortion it gave way. With his chest and arms now freed, Alton made quick work of releasing his legs, and then moved over to help Shawn escape his own plastic prison. With the sharts of the casing lying around their feet, they stepped out of the box and onto a smooth wooden surface.
"So, I gotta ask," said Shawn. "I know I'm still a relatively new recruit to this team and there's a lot I've not learned yet, so... do we turn into toy soldiers often?"
"OK. OK, I'm not panicking. So I'm guessing you don't know how it happened, or how to change us back?"
Alton took a deep breath. "I don't know, but I can guess. Thing is, when you're known for being the best, you make a lot of enemies. That's always been the Golden Army's problem - a lot of rivals out there who can't beat us on the field, so they look at other ways to take us down. Dirty tricks. Sometimes... supernatural. Seems to me there was a curse on that box, and someone left it there hoping we'd be dumb enough to open it."
"Seems like they made a solid bet," Shawn observed drily. "God, this sucks. The whole point of today was meant to be about me getting bigger, and now I'm six goddamn inches tall."
"You think that's the worst part?" Alton glared at him. "Bro, I am pretty sure we are smooth all the way down right now."
Shawn took a moment to register what his teammate was saying. "Oh, fuck. We have got to undo this."
"Let's take stock," Alton said. "What do we know?"
For the first time since emergig from the plastic, the two of them took a proper look at their surroundings. There was a bed in the corner with brightly-coloured sheets on, depicting some cartoon characters that neither Alton nor Shawn were familiar with. Next to the bed, a chest of drawers in a soft pastel blue, and on the floor, a fluffy beige carpet strewn with building blocks, crayons, toy trains and the occasional show.
"Think it's pretty obvious we're in some kid's bedroom," said Alton.
"Sure," said Shawn. "But where do we go from here?"
Alton cast a look upwards. "That seems like a good start."
Shawn followed Alton's glance and realised what his mentor was looking at. Just above from the bookcase they were standing on, a little higher up, was a window. "If we can get up there, maybe we can get a better idea where we are," said Alton. "C'mon, give me a boost, soldier."
"Sure - wait, did you just call me 'soldier'?" Shawn queried.
"Did I?" Alton seemed nonplussed. "I don't know. You gonna help me, or what?"
With a slightly weary sigh, Shawn headed to the edge of the bookcase and got down on one knee, pushing the tips of his little plastic hands tigether to form a kind of step. "You think you can make it from here?"
"I got this, bro," Alton assured him, putting one foot on top of Shawn's outstretched hands. "Okay, here we go. OOP!"
Shawn pushed with all the strength he could fin, watching as his teammate shot into the air and vaulted onto the window ledge. Fortunately, the transformation into a toy soldier hadn't dented Alton's natural athleticism and he landed neatly with both feet.
"What can you see?" Shawn asked.
Alton pressed his tiny face against the window. "Seems like just a back yard, bro. I'm not tall enough to see over the fence. But there's a tree and a sandbox and a - no way."
"The box! The damn box! It's down there!" Alton looked down at Shawn. "That box is in the back yard, and I'm willing to bet that if we can get to it, we can find a way to change b-- WHOA!"
Alton was cut off mid-setence by a chubby hand grabbing him around the midriff as a small blond child seized him triumphantly, whirling him around the air and cackling. Shawn hazarded a guess that he and Alton, in their current form, were the property of this kid, whoever he was - a guess that seemed validated when the kid reached out with his other hand and grabbed Shawn too.
With another scream of delight, the kid turned and ran out of the room, carrying Shawn and Alton in each wildly swinging hand. Shawn felt like he was on a plane, experiencing the kind of turbulence that makes you start repenting your sins and wishing you'd spent more time with your loved ones. If it weren't for the fact he was pretty sure he didn't actually have a digestive system right now, he would probably be projectile vomiting.
"Altoooooon," Shawn called out as he swung in the air, "You okaaaaayyyyyy, broooooo?"
"Thiiiiiiiiiink sooooooooo," came the reply.
The kid thundered down teh stairs and made an abrupt u-turn at the bottom, running through the hallway and out the back door. Suddenly Shawn felt the kid's grip on his torso releasing and his little plastic body began arcing through the air. Instinctively he tried to lift his arms up to shield himself from impact, and then he remembered he was a toy soldier who had been pretty much designed for the explicit purpose of being yeeted around by excitable toddlers - which was the last thing that crossed his mind before he landed head-first in the sand box.
Shawn felt the sensation of something pulling at his feet. Since his head was buried in the sand, he couldn't see what was pulling at him, but he really hoped it was Alton, because the alternative was that the kid was picking him up only to throw him around again - or worse, maybe the family had a dog that had mistaken him for a chew toy.
With a sudden, urgent yank, Shawn's head popped back out of the sand and to his great relief, he saw Alton there, still clutching the boot that Shawn was pretty sure was actually glued to his foot.
"Bro? Is that how you address your superior officer?"
Shawn chuckled for a second, then he realised that Alton wasn't laughing. He looked serious.
"That's Sergeant Gold to you, private."
Alton's face suddenly relaxed again. "Shawn? You OK, bro?"
"You were talking like a soldier, bro. It was pretty weird."
"Shit," Alton said. "I don't remember that. Which makes me think... something's happening to us. Like, if we don't find a way to reverse this soon, we might start to think that we really are soldiers."
"And if that happens," Shawn supplied. "We'll probably forget that we ever weren't. And we can kiss goodbye to any chance of changing back into our real bodies. Forever."
Alton nodded. "We need to get to that box. Now."
"Well, it's literally just across the yard. How hard can it be?"
Turns out the family did have a dog, it had just woken up, and it was smack bang in the middle of the yard between them and the box.
"OK bro, this isn't going to be easy," Alton admitted. "I can think of one thing worse than a long life as a mindless toy soldier, and that's a pretty short life as the chew toy of Fido over there. But we can do this. We're Golden Army. We stick together, we've got each other's backs, and we never leave a bro behind."
Shawn saluted. "Sir! Yes, sir!"
Whoa. That was weird. He didn't know where that had come from. He sure as hell didn't like it. "I mean," he chuckled. "I'm with you, bro. I've got you, and you got me."
Alton put a hand on his shoulder. "Unsettling, isn't it? We gotta get this done, and fast, because I don't know how much time we have. So here's my plan: we stick to the perimeter. We hide in the long grass, and if that thing gets anywhere near us, we confuse it by splitting up, and then come back together the first chance we get."
"Uh huh. And... what if it does get us though, bro?"
"I don't know about you, bro, but I'm gonna make sure that pup gets the worst case of indigestion it's ever had," muttered Alton.
Keeping a close eye on their canine adversary, the tiny soldiers hopped down from the sandbox and made their way stealthily to the edge of the yard, where long grass and weeds provided some element of cover. Alton cleared the path ahead while Shawn kept lookout, and slowly but surely they made progress. The box in the distance drew nearer, and Shawn allowed himself to believe that they might actually be able to get out of this terrible situation without getting chewed into thousands of tiny plastic pieces.
"Alton! Code red! CODE RED!" Shawn hissed. The dog had stirred and was looking right at them. It seemed to have picked up a scent, and was now making its way right to where they were standing.
"Keep still," Alton said quietly. "Keep very, very still."
The two of them froze on the spot as the dog - probably not that large to a human but a huge, slobbering threat to two plastic toys - loomed right over where they were standing and lowered its nose.
The dog looked right at Alton and growled lightly. A pool of dribble landed right next to Alton's booted foot, and the dog opened its mouth.
"Alton!" Shawn whispered, his voice rising in panic.
"Bro, this isn't looking good," Alton said solemnly. "I'm gonna let him take me, and I want you to save yourself."
"No! No way, bro - I'm not leaving you behind."
"You might not have a choice."
The dog's maw grew closer and closer to Alton, and Shawn looked around for something, anything that might get them both out alive. Then he spotted something that might just save them: they were in a small patch of daisies, so he quickly lunged at the stem of the nearest one, reached into the head of the flower to grab a handful of pollen and threw it at the dog's nose. The dog recoiled, surprised and sneezing.
"RUUUUNNNNNN!!!" hollered Shawn, and Alton didn't need telling twice. Their bodies may have changed, but at heart they were still professional athletes, and all of their training kicked in when it mattered. They sprinted swiftly across the yard, focused solely on their goal of making it to the box as a steam - no man left behind.
Alton touched the box first, with Shawn following seconds behind. The two of them pressed their backs up against it as they regained their breath.
"So what now," wheezed Shawn.
"We climb up. We climb in. We hope that this is the answer," said Alton.
"It looks pretty high from down here," Shawn said, craning his neck."
"I'm just gonna think of it like the climbing wall in the GA Gym. Look for handholds and footholds. Just focus on the next move until I'm at the top."
"Works for me," Shawn said. "Want a boost?"
He held his hands out, interlocked once again for Alton to step onto.
"Thanks, bro." Alton smiled, launching himself upwards and determinedly scaling his way to the top of the box.
Shawn followed closely behind, keeping a close eye on Alton's movements and mimicking his path, keeping close behind but stopping occasionally to look over his shoulder just to make no further threats emerged.
Eventually the two of them stood at the top of the open box, the same pure light as before glowing from inside it. Shawn looked down into the box, and then over at Alton.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked.
"Not even slightly," Alton admitted. "For all I know, we're about to make things ten times worse and get turned into Barbie's Malibu Dream House. But I guess the alternative is staying here, and slowly losing our minds to whatever soldier brainwashing is happening to us."
Shawn stared straight ahead. "Sir, yes sir!"
Alton let that hang in the air for a moment. "Bro. Not funny."
"Sorry, I couldn't resist," Shawn grinned. "So, we jump in together, right?"
"Seems as good a plan as any. On three?"
Shawn reached out to Alton. "Take my hand?"
Alton snorted. "A little cheesy, bro. But sure."
They took each other's hands and counted out loud together.
They launched themselves into the box and once again everything went extremely white, then extremely dark.
Shawn woke up first again. His vision was blurry at first, but then he realised that was because he was lying supine on the floor, staring straight up at fluorescent lighting. He grunted, and pulled himself into a seated position. He recognised his surroundings: the GA Gym. Oh, thank god. He caught sight of himself in the mirror: golden workout gear, floppy boyband hair, flesh rather than plastic, definitely human-sized. He was so happy he nearly screamed.
To his right, Alton was regaining consciousness too and pulling himself up off the floor - until the burly defender was nearly knocked down flat again by all 5'11" and 170lbs of Shawn just hurling himself at him, wrapping his arms around this clearly flesh-and-blood Alton with glee, relief and gratitude.
"You gonna let me get up, rookie?" Alton murmured with a grin.
"In a sec." Shawn's voice was muffled, his face still buried in Alton's neck. A moment later, he released his grip on Alton and helped the taller man to his feet.
"You did it," Shawn said admiringly.
"We did it," Alton corrected. "I wasn't there by myself."
"God, it feels so good to be back to normal," said Shawn.
Alton grabbed the waistband of his workout pants, pulling it outwards and gazing down at his lower half before letting the elastic ping back into place. His grin grew even winder. "Yep, completely back to normal. So, you still wanna go through that workout, bro? Get yourself bigger?"
Shawn considered this. "You know what? I'm good. I think maybe smaller can still be pretty powerful, in its own way."
"And maybe us big guys need to remember to look out for the little guy more often," Alton conceded.
"Hey, where'd the box go?" Shawn asked, looking around.
Alton grunted. "Back to whatever hell dimension it came from, I hope. We should probably go speak to Captain Brody though, let him know what happened. Get the word out to the whole team so nobody else has to go through what we just did."
"You wanna get coffee on the way?" Shawn asked.
Alton grinned. "Make mine a tall."
The Golden Army never leaves a bro behind - big or small. Want to become part of the team? Contact one of our recruiters: @alton-gold77, @franco-gold94, @polo-drone-125, @polo-drone-166