Three months ago, things were different.
My first day of work I was an anxious mess. Palms sweaty. I was crying in the bathroom stall, holding my knees together, trying to resolve a break up and the constant fear of being a failure.
My fingers were riddled with papercuts.
I didn't know where the kitchen was.
I could barely look anyone in the eye.
Now, I hold my keycard between my bra as I drink half a coffee at my desk. I scan files in with one hand while I listen to millionaires cry about their riches with the phone to my ear and eat a salad with the other.
I unplug my keyboard to troll IT.
I have daily conversations with the doormen.
I'm comfortable and confident, for the most part. Working in this company has set me back on a disciplined sleep schedule, gave me a reason to harden myself even further and push back. There's still a lot of work to be done. I still want to be better. Make more money. Full time benefits.
But right now I'll ride out through the transition and try my hardest.
It's going to be a long day.
Let me know how it goes, okay?
