Feelings make me feel as though I’m bipolar
Feelings of you...feelings for you...feelings to be freed from you...
Feelings of loneliness even though I’m laying next to you
Feelings of betrayal because I gave you my heart & you stepped all over it
Feelings of confusion. Like, why did you choose me to hurt? You knew what you were doing & still chose me to fuck over.
Feelings of anger. Anger at you, anger with you, anger at me. For knowing better but not doing better.
Feelings of bitterness. Knowing I’m better, knowing we’re better.
Feelings of manipulation from your words; still clinging on hoping there’s some truth in them.
Feelings of vulnerability, when I try so hard to avoid it
Feelings of rage at the thought of all the wrong you’ve done to me.
Feelings of lust. Or is it love? Or is it both? Is it me being too blind or stubborn to let go?
Feelings of wanting nothing to do with you but still dealing with you
Feelings for your touch, your smile, your laugh
Feelings of I fucking hate you with everything in me, but wanting to take care of you. Wanting to take care of your heart all in the same breath.
Feelings of what the fuck am I still doing
Feelings too deep to even write about
Feelings that are fading by the minute...no, by the second
Feelings of trying to figure out how to forgive but not knowing how
Feelings of wishing you’d truly tell me what was up and why you do what you do
Feelings of wanting to understand you more so we can grow
Feelings of hating you and loving you at the same time
Feelings of knowing what I deserve
Feelings of being free from this emotional hell
Feelings of feeling new...refreshed...and completely over you.
It was fun while it lasted, but it’s going to be even more fun looking past ya.
See, I’m realizing my worth. I’m realigning my energy. I’m allowing the universe to pour out the blessings I deserve....with someone I deserve.
But truth be told, I’m feeling overwhelmed as fuck.
Because I never want us to end, but I’m just wasting my time by playing pretend.
So enjoy your life, enjoy your future wife.