What’s the future going to be like without Carmilla?
It’s pretty obvious that after the Carmilla movie comes out that it will be the end for our little web series that could. It’s safe to say that there will be closure and our story will have its ending. I’m so thankful to have been in this fandom and watch it grow. I’m thankful for all the joy, friends, adventures and memories over the past few years, but I can’t help but wonder what the future will be like when all this is officially done.
LIKE PICTURE THIS: Years have past and you have grown up. You’ve moved out, the posters are taken down, the merchandise is packed up in the attic and you’re living your life as an adult. One day, while doing some spring cleaning, your child tugs on your shirt and asks, “Mommy, what’s Carmilla?” Your heart drops and you freeze. A thousand memories flash before your eyes. You turn around and see that your kid found your old box with all your Carmilla stuff. All the posters, t-shirts, pictures and merchandise were all evidence of the good old days. You feel your eyes fill with tears as you look at the contents of the box and feel as though your travelling through time. You look at your child and say, “Mommy is going to tell you a story.” For the rest of the day, you go through that box and start telling your fandom stories. You show them the photos, you tell them about the conventions you went to and the friends you made. You laugh as you remember the funny sponsorship U by Kotex had on a web series involving vampires. You re-watch the series together and start quoting every episode word for word. You explain to them all the stupid inside jokes like the giraffe shirt, the door knob, the mannequin legs etc. You tell your child about the effect the show had not only on you, but for the LGBT+ community and the good its done for so many fans around the world. You tell them about the times you got to meet the cast and how it felt like a dream to be in their presence. You seem to never shut up about the web series and you feel like your old self again.
Later that night, you go online and you find your old fan accounts. You ask yourself as you go through your old posts, “How is the cast doing right now? How have their careers been? Are Natasha and Elise still good friends? Has everyone gone separate ways? What happened to KindaTV? Is everyone married? Divorced? With kids? Not acting anymore? What are their latest projects? How old are they by now? Do they still remember the creampuffs? Do they still think about us?” You start to cry because in that moment, you wish more than anything that you could relive all of it. You wish you could go back to when the show was still around. When Tuesdays and Thursdays were the best days of the week because new episodes would be up. When Steph and KindaTV would troll us all the time on social media. When KindaTV was called Vervegirl and got rebranded. When regular videos were up where we got to go on adventures with Natasha and see all her shenanigans. When we used to vote like crazy so Carmilla and the cast members could win contests and award shows. All these thoughts rush into your mind and your heart breaks over the fact of how fast time moves, how precious it is and before you know it, its all over and just a memory.
*commence to drink creampuff’s tears*
