23 goodesport for my soul
Bro, this prompt is SAD SAD. You good, my dude?
“How do I make you love me again?”
They were laying in bed. Gigi’s hands finding a home around Jan’s shoulders, Jan’s fingers tracing patterns and words and dreams on Gigi’s arm.
Jan spoke softly, quietly into the tense silence in the room. “How do I make you love me again?”
Gigi felt tears prick at the edge of her eyes, voice breaking as she tried to speak. “Jan I-”
Jan shook her head fiercely and sat up in bed. “Don’t you dare say you didn’t love me in the first place, Geeg. That’s a fucking lie and you know it.”
It would be a lie. If Gigi had said it.
But she didn’t.
Couldn’t lie about that even if she wanted to. And god did she really want to.
Falling in love with Jan hadn’t been in the plan. Nowhere on Gigi’s map to world domination was there room for such trivial things like love. She would worry about all that mushy emotional stuff when she was older. After she accomplished her dreams. Her plan had been to do the best at everything always, and push everything else away until she felt secure, safe.
And that had worked fine for 21 years.
And then the literal embodiment of sunshine just so happened to appear in her life. On a reality television competition show no less.
In front of thousands of people, Gigi watched herself fall in love. Stupidly, crazily, impossibly in love.
With someone who was far too good for her.
“Jan, can we please just-”
“No, no we can’t just ignore it.” Jan sighed wiping at her eyes. “We broke up, Geeg. Because you wanted time and space and now here you’re in my bed and saying you miss me..”
Gigi knew she shouldn’t have said that. As soon as the words had left her mouth she knew she was doomed.
But it had been true. Still was.
She did miss Jan. In all the ways that she shouldn’t. In all the ways that she had used as fuel for the fire to break her heart.
“I should go,” Gigi said simply.
Jan looked at her hard, eyes searching her face for something. Some sign of hope or care or love.
She couldn’t seem to find what she was looking for, eyes falling back to the sheets beneath her.
“Yeah, you should.”
