HIIIIYYYYAAA
HIYA! More like Hiya! vs HI-Yah! ( karate chop! ) Alright, now that we have that all sorted out, how are you? How are you feeling? How is your heart? How do you feel at night, right before you go to sleep? Or do you sleep? Hopefully you do. It’s really no fun not to be able to sleep. Anyway I ask because I am wanting to gage everyone else’s emotions. It is easier than doing so for myself, granted that would be smart... so okay let me do it!
Right now I am feeling pretty good since I ate a sensible and yummy dinner I made myself. Now before you go thinking I am a chef ( or maybe you would never think that ) I made a salad of baby kale baby spinach, evoo, lemon and seasonings and I sautéed a clean high protein veggie burger and topped it with perfectly ripe ( so satisfying ) avocado slices and horseradish mustard. I also did a little light exercise ( a plank, Russian twists, leg lifts and “girl” pushups. ) As far as my heart, well I am thinking about this more and more often these days. I am realizing that even while going after my dreams and working a job that is 75% good with people that are 90% great, there is something missing and I have a few ideas.
One, that I am lonely from having no close, call you at any time, hangout at least twice a week, have brunch every weekend, Sex and The City type friends ( minus the crazy fashion and moolah and NYC that I don't care for anyway ) and that two, I don't have a boyfriend, a partner, a best friend who loves me and lifts me up after a long day of dancing and working and talks with me about my thoughts of worrying about whether I will ever “make it” and will I ever make enough money to actually pay off my student loans and travel, or SAVE?! Who would console me, hug me, tell me everything will be okay and to keep working hard and believe in myself ( yada yada , yet in sincerity. )
With all this being said, I guess the only thing to do right now is to keep moving ( physically and emotional head space-y ) to keep the faith ( thank you God for everything, even these sad, slightly crisis feeling moments ) and to take care of myself in the best way I can ( get enough sleep, laugh a lot and appreciate your family. )
I don't know if anyone else feels like me or if you all are riding high on a unicorn rainbow cloud ( which if you are, is there room for one more?! ) whatever you are facing in life at this moment, take stock of it, pay attention and breathe. ( that is what I am attempting to do at least ) Oh heck, lets just throw caution to the wind and say I’M DOING IT. Whoop that feels good :)
Love,
Figuring it out. <3