Joyce
Because she’s extra, I’m extra, & I don’t want to wait for a memorial service to share what Joyce means to me.
Spring 2016 me: what was your name again? I only remember your IG, Barbie or something.
Joyce: my name is Joyce but you can call me Barbie, people call me that!
Eventually I found out that nobody actually calls her that. LOL
I first remember meeting Joyce at Resurrection Houston in the middle of our #lifetøgether series. But to really break down what Joyce means to me, I must reflect on who I was before I got to know her.
The #lifetøgether series went over the importance of Christian fellowship with the slogan, “Everything in Jesus is better together.” I was very comfortable with my close small group of friends, but I’m a very social person, so I was always around lots of people. I was complacent in how I was living in community, because I equated going to events with living life with one another. The #lifetøgether series changed my life. It showed me what it was like to love, forgive, and bear with one another. It showed me how uncomfortable but how necessary it was to speak truth to one another. It showed me the joy & power of singing to one another. It showed me what it meant to serve my family. #lifetøgether showed me what Gospel-centered community is supposed to look like. God was pushing me to make friends and build authentic community, but it was hard. I didn’t know how to make friends. I can be very loud and talkative. I can be very inviting and fun to be around. I can be relatively transparent. I can be all things loud, fun, rude, awkward, and annoying, but I couldn’t tolerate the discomfort of conflict resolution or hearing correction. I didn’t hang around people who didn’t accept me. It was simple. lol My friends accepted me, loved me, and corrected me (sometimes). But to branch off and build deeper-than-the-surface relationships and face people having an issue with me made me uncomfortable. God was showing me what it was like to build relationships and I was so confused and annoyed at God like, “Why do you want me to be around these people who are trying me? They don’t know me. They’re disrespectful. They need to get to know me before they come at me like this. This is why I don’t care to make friends. I’m good.” & of course the sovereign & loving God we serve, convicted me & brought me to humility on what this Christian fellowship was about, while sanctifying me into the image of His son.
That’s my brief testimony of how the Gospel transforms through life together. It’s important for me to share that because Joyce used to always tell me I was one of the nicest people at RH, when for a while I didn’t even care to meet new people. lol We were in cross train together. I would see her at family time with my missional community and at our summer Hebrews Bible study, but we were still very hi-bye-ish. lol It wasn’t until Courtney, Joyce, Yewande & I started going over Christianity Explained that I really got to know Joyce.
Joyce taught me how to be a nice person. She is seriously one of the nicest, happiest people I know. The kinda of joy that makes you wonder if she understands life. LOL. She has this weird, self-proclaimed, bubbly, personality with the heart to serve others. Her personality is so strong. I know how much she loves to eat, sleep, and all things fashion, but it never compromised her love for people. Of course this is my perspective and from what I’ve witnessed. This girl thought a lot of herself, but I’ve never been around Joyce to where she thought of herself more than others.
“God did not make this person as I would have made him. He did not give him to me as a brother for me to dominate and control, but in order that I might find above him the Creator.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Joyce showed me how to see God deeper. I’ve had several conversations with random people about my faith. I’ve taught a couple of people Christianity Explained. Nobody has ever challenged me to see God deeper like this girl. We would meet up for our weekly lessons. I would usually spend half of the time on the lesson, half of the time socializing and eating. Joyce would spend the majority, if not all of the time talking about either the lesson, random questions about God, or sharing her life in hopes that all things would be reconciled to the Gospel. She would read and hear things and ask, “why?” & most of the time I would think, “Idk because the Bible says so?!” But reply, “oh I don’t know. I’ll look that up for you & get back to you.” After a while I started to wonder why didn’t I ask these things. I admire her desire to know the truth, not only to believe but to share. I started reading my Bible more. One because I knew I had to get ahead of her and these questions! Lol. Two, because I desired to see God deeper than a lesson.
I’ve known Joyce for less than a year & she’s seriously one of the best friends I never asked for. Her love for God & desire for mission encourages me like crazy. We started off learning how to share the Gospel, and end up sharing our lives. Every time we got together we would talk for hours about life. She allowed me to be me. She allowed me to be a teacher with all respect, grace, and love. She never judged me or made me feel unqualified. She allowed me to share the ugliness in my life with no fear. She never allowed me to stay in my sin and always asked the challenging questions in gentleness and love to understand why. She loved me for me.
“It is not experience of life but experience of the Cross that makes one a worthy hearer of confessions. The most experienced psychologist or observer of human nature knows infinitely less of the human heart than the simplest Christian who lives beneath the Cross of Jesus. The greatest psychological insight, ability, and experience cannot grasp this one thing: what sin is. Worldly wisdom knows what distress and weakness and failure are, but it does not know the godlessness of men. And so it also does not know that man is destroyed only by his sin and can be healed only by forgiveness. In the presence of a psychiatrist I can only be a sick man; in the presence of a Christian brother [or sister] I can dare to be a sinner. The psychiatrist must first search my heart and yet he never plumbs its ultimate depth. The Christian brother knows when I come to him: here is a sinner like myself, a godless man who wants to confess and yearns for God’s forgiveness. The psychiatrist views me as if there were no God. The brother views me as I am before the judging and merciful God in the Cross of Jesus Christ.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Joyce had all of the right qualities in a disciple. She was faithful. She understood what kinda commitment discipleship took. She was available. She made the sacrifices needed to learn, study, and teach. She was teachable. Joyce loves to learn. I’ve never met someone so humble and so hungry to want to share the Gospel and make disciples. Even this past Tuesday, we were meeting for our last brunch and she thought we were going to discuss Chapter 2 of Mike Breen’s Building a Discipleship Culture. I was like “Joyce, you’re leaving. Let’s talk about life!” She wanted to learn as much as she could before leaving, so that she could be equipped to make disciples. She was my partner for the advancement of the Gospel. We would tag team in our weekly discipleship classes. I’ve watched her teach and share the Gospel. I’ve watched her serve her brothers and sisters in humility. I had all these dreams about how we would serve side by side reaching all these ladies in Houston and just like that she’s gone.
I’ve shared a lot about Joyce and her impact on my life, but I understand that this is only the grace of God. Joyce is clear evidence to me of the power of the Gospel. If this was about us, then I would be upset and discouraged. This goodbye of course is bittersweet, but the Gospel makes it beautiful. I thank God for Joyce’s life and all of the ways He has used her to sanctify me. I thank God for the boldness He has given her to be on mission where her life exists. Paul says it so beautifully in Philippians. Of course this letter was to the church in Philippi, but with a few alterations it is my prayer, gratitude, and hope for sister’s life.
“I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. 7 It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. 8 For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. 9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”
Love you so much Joyce! Can’t wait to hear about how God is challenging you and molding you into His image. He will be your strength and comfort. He will be your joy as you pursue this next chapter. He will be your hope when the distance, the classes, and life overwhelms you. In Jesus name.