Got Trust?
“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12 NLT
The word "Trust" is interesting.
This scripture focuses on the trust a man has for his wife (Amen) and yet we know trust is a door that swings both ways. It applies to husbands and wives.
I’ve come to learn trust means so many things - especially to men. Trust means, “I trust you to remain faithful to me” but it can also mean “I trust you to understand my need to be attracted to your physical appearance”.
Trust can mean, “I rely on you to keep our personal business private” or it can mean, “I trust you to help us reach our financial goals”. Trust can mean, "I trust you to cover me and pray for me" or “I trust you to spend quality time with me” It can mean, “I trust you to satisfy my need for your touch”, Even deeper still, it can mean “I trust you to understand my NEED for your admiration and respect because YOU mean the most in my life”.
Trust is multifaceted. Isn’t it?
The truth is there are times when we lose the trust we had at the beginning of our relationship. I mean let's be honest, we can become distracted by so many things in our lives - our careers, raising kids, caring for parents, serving in ministry, volunteering and even other attractive people that we forget to acknowledge and respond to these vital needs. Before we know it, we look up from the whirlwind of our day-to-day and wonder, "WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED TO US?!"
Sound familiar?
I want to encourage you not to get stuck where you are now. Trust may be lost but it's time to focus on regaining that place in their heart.
It’s going to require you to roll up your sleeves and become intimately acquainted with the trust factors within your marriage. The best way to start (after seeking God for direction) is with empathy. Empathy puts you in someone else's shoes and allows you to understand their perspective.
1 Peter 3:8 NLT (Bible) is an excellent guide for how to approach empathy.
Be forewarned - this isn’t a short-term deal or a quick five step program. Quickies are red flags for mistrust. This will take time and conscious effort. It will take having many love conversations to understand their needs and the roles you BOTH play in meeting them. You may be surprised about what you learn with the right questions and an open (non-judgemental and undemanding) heart.
If you approach it with the right intentions, it will be a blessing because you'll win back the confidence of your spouse and your relationship will experience a new level of enduring love.
Never forget... Your spouse's trust is a priceless treasure.
Get it. Grow it. Guard it.
Love Conversations is available on www.SylviaLDaniels.com, Amazon and Kindle