Are you Back?
@gracelessxangel Nothing mattered anymore. Not to Dean. He didn't care what happened with Lucifer's baby or if he survived to the next day. Castiel was gone. For good this time. His wings had been scorched into the Earth beneath his body. Every time Dean closed his eyes, he saw Castiel's death. At Sam's insistence, they had burned Castiel. Given him a hunter's funeral, just like they had given everyone else in his life. Dean had just stood there, staring straight ahead as his best friend burned. He had to keep reminding himself that Castiel was dead. Keeping the body around wouldn't have changed anything. As soon as they returned to the Bunker, Dean took every bottle of everything even remotely alcoholic and locked himself in his room. He alternated between drinking, crying, and yelling at Chuck about the unfairness of it all. He smashed bottles when they were empty, throwing them against the door and sinking even further into despair. He only slept when he finally passed out from the drinking. He only ate when the gnawing at his stomach became unbearable. Sam was sick of him. Dean could tell. He should be there for his little brother, but he couldn't. He just couldn't bring himself to be strong anymore. He was pretty sure he was going to die. The Bunker would become his tomb after all. But it didn't matter now. Nothing mattered. He could keep on fighting the good fight until the day he died and the universe would keep taking away the people he loved. He was done fighting. He was done caring.
