#grad feels

[the-mouse-on-mainstreet]

Getting ready for graduation and moving into my Celebration apartment this weekend! 

So I’m getting ready for graduation and the change doesn’t seem real yet. I cried for the first time today about moving away from one of my closest friends and it’s beginning to hit me that I’ll never live in Nashville again. 

These past four years have been dedicated to reaching my career goals with Disney and now that I’ve finally got my dream PI (and am moving into my new Celebration apartment!!!!) I actually have to focus on graduation. I kind of wish I could skip the whole thing and just go straight into my life with Disney so I didn’t have to deal with the closure emotions that come with graduation.

It’s been really lonely throughout my undergraduate years. I have friends and get along with nearly everyone in my department, but Nashville has never felt like home. I’m so ready to live back in Orlando, especially in Celebration, where I actually feel at home. Everything about Celebration and the Disney community and the Florida culture makes me feel like I’m right where I belong and it’s been a very long time since I actually felt this way. No really, it’s been difficult to stay afloat and stay positive and confident for the last four or five years. 

I cannot wait to FINALLY get the show on the road and actually feel like I’m living my life to the absolute fullest!! I will keep you all updated as this process chugs along, but please feel free to ask questions along the way! 

[floss-flew]

I’m now buying all my graduating regalia and it feels so fucking REAL man. Made it my guy, first gown down, 2-3 more to go!

[embracethemain]

Having two groups of friends can be hard sometimes..

I'm looking through photos and realizing that I missed my last fam comp and activation.. It makes my heart heavy bc I've never missed them before, but the reasons I did were to stay with my house. They're both such big parts of my life, it's hard not to be able to be in two places at once..

[bekyaaa]

unfinished lyrics ((supposed batch song but meh))

Remember walking on that hallway?

Going to your next class with your best friend.

Do you see those leaves turning?

That marks the last day of our stay.

[chiizuburger]

No longer a student

This past week had been a very strange week, In a span of 5 days, I managed to catch up some college experiences like hanging around with a group of friends at a cafe playing a board game or going on an impromptu car ride around the Metro or going on a date. 

At the same time though, one by one I let go of all the threads of college. My uniform is one of them; that guy whom I had no idea if we once had crushes on each other, I spoke to and found a conclusion (I didn't bluntly say I liked him, but I am happy we made a friendship :) ); this guy I had a moment with -- I never personally met him because we talked online and when I saw his profile I spent months thinking what to do about it haha long story short, I messaged him and with that I put a period on it and I will make my way forward.

Unfortunately, on the day of my graduation, my darling hamster -- my dear companion at home died. He started out as a requirement for school, but God knows I don't treat animals as experiments. I was reluctant to buy one because that will mean I will be taking care of him and I know I'll fall in love with the hamster because who freakin' doesn't?!  I didn't know he was part of the things I have to let go of as I leave college. I miss him so much already. ;___; 

Next week is a different week. For one, I no longer wake up with my hamster gathering paper to make his bed for the day. I no longer will see him look up at me as I wake up and greet him. My agenda for each day as of now is updating resume and job-hunting.

My agenda for the rest of my life is to earn.

My personal agenda for the rest of my life is to make good memories, keep strong friendships, find the love of my life, marry the guy I will call my best friend and my true lover, make a family with him, live the dream of being a filmmaker and love, love ,love.

I am sorry for the long text post. Honestly, I can still go longer with the emotions I have inside. Haha. This is a strange and overwhelming feeling. Everything has reached a conclusion, but when you look at the horizon, there is still so much more to see, hear, taste and feel. Life should be getting more interesting.

To my darling Kuro, my dear hamster. I miss you so much. You probably didn't want me to worry for you everyday at work. Or worry about you when I am on a business trip especially when it is overseas. Oh Kuro, I love you and miss you so so much.

Student life. It's done.

Now... Onto the great unknown.  

[themindofkj]

This most recent episode of glee though..

[dystopian-citizen]

I'm pretty sure I'm too immature for college

[dadneedsanap]

Now that my silly grad project is coming to an end I just got super sad and confused.  How am I supposed to talk about pot, and pot culture and make stupid pot jokes and all of the things I've done this year with out just seeming like a shitty stoner? These damn design academic microcosms that I'm so comfortable and understood in! Sometimes I joke that I became a 'stoner'* because of my grad project/for my gradproject/for research. And yet I never realized that I'm SO heavily into pot culture now that I think it would really be a push to try and become as removed as I was before?  Like this is something I actually care about now? Not just a silly joke? But also now I'm going to potentially be viewed AS I viewed the problem I originally adrdessed with the joint (/the pot project)? Also soon I graduate and become removed form these safe microcosms and communities?  Or they at least change. 

yipes. spring feelings *stoner being relative to what I at the beginning of my project would have considered a stoner, someone who engages heavily with marijuana culture and makes stupid jokes and cares about things that seem so trivial as pot does to the mainstream.