#grayson bailey dolan

[alrighttherescarhead]

SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP!!!!!

[impaladolan]

small request! grayson and y/n were supposed to be going out for a date night but he goes to buy y/n another dress because he insists hers is too short to wear in public (plus he’s overprotective)

Blurb Alert! - Grayson Dolan

a/n: i changed it a little, and i kinda made grayson a meanie in this one

Stingy:

"I'll be out in the car." Grayson runs his hand through his hair before leaving you to finish dressing. He looked irritated, wouldn’t talk much and had a semi-sour expression.

You had your hair and some makeup all done up, and a nice emerald green dress and some heels on for your attendance of your friend’s wedding reception.

Grayson wasn’t upset this morning when the two of you had attended the ceremony. He was all flushed, doe-eyed and lovey, his touch never leaving your body.

But now, after dressing for the party, his mood had a total switch. You couldn’t understand why. You don’t recall anything of importance angering him, and your Grayson was a patience man, not one to be upset over small things.

You dismissed worrying about it— he wouldn’t tell you why he was mad or what you could do to help, but instead stayed in silence as he too readied himself for the evening ahead.

Maybe a little dancing will loosen him up.

After spraying a sweet perfume and grabbing your purse, you ducked into his low car and strapped your seat belt, pulling your dress down so it wouldn’t be bunched up against your lower abdomen.

Grayson scoffed and started the car, evading your glare as he backed, rather aggressively, out of the driveway.

“What’s your problem, baby?” You smoothed your hand over the console and onto his own, massaging the backside of his palm sincerely. He bit the inside of his cheek and looked over, not at your eyes, but to where your dress ends and your legs begin.

“Do you think that dress is appropriate to wear tonight, Y/N?” He finally looked at you, his gaze still hard and unmoving.

“Excuse me?” You almost gasped at his words, your face flushing and a fiery anger shooting throughout your body.

The nerve.

“Answer the question.” His grip on the steering wheel tightened and his foot seemed to grow heavy against the gas.

“I don’t see a fucking problem.” You looked down your torso and along the sleeves, in search of whatever the hell could be wrong.

“So you don’t think it’s pretty revealing?”

You pulled your hand away from him and shook your head, appalled by his thoughts. You were struggling to speak, surprised by his sudden dismay of your attire.

“Oh, you don’t? Your fucking ass is hanging out and your tits are on full fucking display. I hope to god you’re wearing some kind of panty under that, fuck.” He had you stunned with his words and you could hardly see straight with all the anger bubbling inside of you.

“You bought me this dress, Grayson!” You huff, flailing your hands in the air. Your chest began to turn red, that’s what usually happens when you’re flushed or irate, and your teeth grind against each other in continued irritation.

“I didn’t realize it’d be that short when you put on heels, Y/N.” He was annoyed, pressing the gas further down and moving around other vehicles like he thinks he’s a nascar driver or something.

“It’s not your decision of how clothed or not I want to be.”

“Well, then we’re making a stop before the reception.” He pulled off the highway and sped down the exit, taking a right at the stop light and flying down the road. He only slowed to turn into a luxury dress store and parked, turning the car off.

“I’m fucking walking, asshole.” You reach for the door handle, but he holds his finger over the lock button and moves across the console to shut the door back.

“The hell you are.”

You continue to try and open the door, using all your might, but even with hardly a grip Grayson’s stronger than you.

“You’ve never acted this way before.” You subside from trying to leave and cross your arms, covering the exposed cleavage he’s so upset about.

“I’m not trying to control you, Y/N,” he sighs and let’s go of the door. “I just don’t want anybody getting ideas. You’re mine.” He runs his hand through his hair, it’s disheveled and a couple strands had fallen upon his forehead.

“I didn’t think this would be an issue for you. I figured you’d like to see me wear this.”

“You’re more than welcome to wear it at home.” He flicked his eyebrows up and down and you let out a small laugh.

“Fine. Better hurry up in here or we’ll be late.” You both empty the vehicle and he joins you on the sidewalk, landing a harsh slap to your ass before grabbing your waist with a chuckle.

“I’m still upset with you, Grayson.”

“We’ll see who’s upset when we get home tonight..”

[elitegrayson]

request: y/n and grayson are enemies who happen to share the same friend group. while everyone is having a night out at the club, y/n is being harassed and groped by a guy. she finds grayson and taps the side of his hand to hold hands. graysons about to cuss her out but he immediately goes into protective mode

a/n: i appreciate all of your requests, keep em coming! i hope you enjoy this <3

it was a saturday night and your friends decided they wanted to go out clubbing. your best friend thought it would a good idea for everyone to get ready at her house. she said it'll be easier for everyone could leave from there. it was only four of you guys; rose, you, kent, and grayson. 

now grayson wasn’t particularly your friend. he was more like a coworker, but even then he was barely that. rose and kent know you guys bump heads often, but it’s never gotten too crazy. you only put up with it because wherever kent goes, grayson just has to follow. there’s no escaping him even if you wanted to. it’s the same thing with you and Rose, now that you think about it, but that’s different.

when you walked into the club, the hot air swept across your face. it smelled of hot bodies and alcohol. you like to party, but you’re more of a kickback girl, not a club girl. nonetheless, you wanted to let loose and have some fun.  

“let’s get some drinks! boys, can you go to the bar and get something good?” rose asked, looking over at kent and grayson. 

“we’ll get something for you, but not for y/n.” grayson smirked as you just rolled your eyes.

“oh please, i don’t need you to do anything for me. hell, i’ll get it myself. rose, come with me.” you responded, purposely pushing gray out of the way.

“don’t worry y/n, you’re gonna need me one day!” he yelled out, but you just ignored him, flipping him off as you walked towards the bar. you saw that the bartender was a woman and you instantly felt safe.most of the creeps here always have to comment on your drinks saying that you “couldn’t handle your drinks”.

“hey ladies, what can i get for you?” the bartender smiled, showing off her cheeky dimples.

“hi! um, i’ll take a long island iced tea, please? and what do you want rose?”

“i’ll just have a bloody mary.”

“bloody mary and a long island coming up!” 

one drink turned into at least five more. you kind of stopped counting but all you know is you felt amazing. at this point, you were on the dance floor with rose having the time of your life. music was blasting, you had a couple of drinks in your system, and everything felt great.

“hey, why do you hate grayson so much? he’s nice you know plus he’s our friend.” rose asked, yelling a bit as she leaned into your ear.

you were confused about why she was asking you about him, considering they haven’t been with us since you got your drinks.

“i don’t hate him, i just strongly dislike him. he just annoys me i don’t know. why are you even asking about him, it’s gonna ruin the nighttt.” you replied, slurring your words at the end.

“i think you guys would look cute together, to be honest,” she giggled, slapping your shoulder, but you swiped her hand away.

“gross! there’s no way in fucking hell i’d end up with him. anywho i think i want another drink, wanna come with?” you asked as she shook her head no. you knew in your head you didn’t need another drink, but you wanted one.

you sat down and before you could tell her what you wanted, she already put the drink in front of you. “this last one is on me, girl.” she smiled as you thanked her. a few seconds later, you felt someone’s hot breath on your neck.

“hey there beautiful, are you all alone tonight?” the man said then he touched your lower back slightly.

“hey, do you know what personal space is? and don’t fucking touch me, you don’t know me!” you hissed, standing up and slapping his hands off of you.

“c’mon sweetness, i’ve been watching you all night, and right now i’m tired of watching. i want you, now,” he growled, pushing you closer to him and then he roughly grabbed your ass. immediately you cursed and then slapped him and ran in the other direction.

tears started to brim in your eyes, but you started to look for Grayson. you don’t know why he was the first person to pop into your head, but he was. soon enough you saw him in the corner with a drink in his hand. luckily he was alone so you started to stumble towards him, making your way through the crowd.

you tapped the side of his hand and then you intertwined his with yours. “yo y/n what the fuck are you-“ he stopped when he saw what you looked like. makeup stained by your tears and you could barely stand on your two feet. “gray please i n-need you. i was at the b-bar and a man t-touched me.” you began to cry again, yet you were holding hands with grayson. he smiled at the shorter version of his name. you always called him by his full name so the fact that you called him “gray” made his heart flutter slightly.

he tried to push that in the back of his head so he can focus and try to comfort you. “y/n come here,” he cooed, letting go of your hand and replacing it with your hair. you were leaving a mess on his shirt, but you didn’t care. you just needed his comfort. your mind started to wonder about the words you spoke earlier to him. it was ironic that you were crying in your enemy's arms, but you decided not to say anything. you knew he never predicted this to happen, but that didn’t matter right now. you just needed grayson.

grayson continued to rub your back and whisper comforting things in your ear, but in reality, he was ready to raise hell thinking about the man who touched you. you two have never really been friends and hell he never really gave you the light of day. yet he never wanted anything bad to happen to you, especially something like this. he’s never seen you this drunk before and he definitely won’t admit it, but it’s nice that you found him and not rose or kent.

“y/n, let’s go home yeah? i don’t want you to be here any longer. we need to get you home and in bed.” grayson explained, you looked up at him with glossy, stained mascara eyes and gave him a nod.

“but what about the man? what if we see him on our way out?” you asked, holding on to him even tighter than before.

“i hope we don’t, but if we do that asshole will know to never touch another woman again, especially you y/n. i am so sorry that this happened to you.” by surprise, he pressed a small kiss to your forehead. you were shocked of course, but you didn’t say anything. you just smiled to yourself and followed grayson to the entrance.

[graysnutcracker]

Oh my god, guys 🥺💞 I'm so happy for them.

When did they grow up? The twins were 17 when I started watching them... And now Ethan starting his own family 🤧

[baby-turtles]

These still make me feel something going into 2023…

And this just look at that smile 🥺

I’ll do anything this man asks of me.

[poguesholland]

Marco Polo | Grayson Dolan

A game of Marco Polo in the pool with your best friend, Grayson, ends up revealing some hidden feelings.

Warnings: two curse words?

A/N: This is from my Wattpad, enjoy!

"Okay, one more round" Grayson, your bestfriend, pleads as Ethan closes the glass door. You nod and giggle, closing your eyes and beginning to count to twenty. You randomly swim around in the pool wherever you heard water splash until you got to twenty.

"Marco!" You call out, excitement bubbling in you as you always win at this game. Grayson wasn’t the most discrete swimmer, always splashing around and bursting into laughter.

Silence fills the air and suspense fills your body, feeling confused about why Grayson hasn't said 'Polo' by now. It was one of the games’ rules. You feel someone's hot breath against your lips and a deep voice speaks up making chills run through your body, "Polo”.

Your eyes flutter open to see that Grayson’s face is inches away from yours. A shocked look covers your face as Grayson locks eyes with you, not expecting him to be standing so close.

His eyes flicker from mine to your lips and he leans in slowly. Your eyes move to his lips then to his eyes hesitantly, heart beating out of your chest. What the hell was Grayson about to do? There was no way he felt that way about you. No way.

Grayson keeps his eyes on yours, reaching a hand up to caress your face. You find yourself leaning into his touch, closing your eyes for a second to register all of this. You open them and Grayson had his bottom lip held between his teeth, looking at you so intently.

This was wrong.

Both of his hands slowly trail down to your waist, gripping tightly and pulling you closer to him. His thumb rubs your waist, making goosebumps spread across your body.

He’s been your best friend since you were in diapers; yeah you’ve had a crush on him but you tried your best to push past it so you didn’t ruin your friendship.

Your faces were inches a part, noses bumping against each other softly and chests pressed against each other. Where did all of this come from?

But You couldn’t to stop him,

Your hands go up to his built chest, lips parted in anticipation as you breathe heavily because of how nervous you were. Was Grayson actually going to do this?

Or yourself.

He parts his lips lightly as he tilts his head, the eye contact just making you even more flustered.

You wanted this so badly.

Grayson slowly leans down to your head level and licks his lips, giving your eyes one last glance before his soft lips pressed against yours.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you kissed him back immediately, melting into the kiss you’d been daydreaming about for so long. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, if that was even possible. The heat of the kiss rushes through your veins, giving you chills.

You would have never imagined his lips would feel this perfect against your lips. This was so wrong, but they felt so good.

The kiss was so passionate, his soft lips moving against yours in sync. Graysons hands slide further back your waist, to meet at the small of your back which pushes you impossibly close to him.

The kiss was more perfect that you had imagined.

His tongue slightly pokes out of his mouth, as if he were asking for permission. You grant it, letting him enter and explore your mouth with his muscle. The kiss becomes sloppier as your teeth clash against each other, but that only makes it more heated.

You didn’t know that kissing your best friend would feel so good.

His hands grip the back of your thighs and lift you up quickly, making you squeal. You wrap them around his waist, since he could reach the bottom better than you could. Grayson smiles against your lips, "You’re so cute”. A blush settles on your cheeks and you look away in embarrassment.

Taking you by surprise, he tilts his head to where you were looking and forcefully pushes his lips against yours. He tilts both of your heads back to face his original position, and kisses you deeply once again. Your hands slide from the back of his neck to his face, cupping it as your lips locked together.

You smile into the kiss, causing Grayson to smile as you both pulled away. “I really like you, Y/N." Grayson mumbled against your lips, his happy expression fading as he awaited your response. Your chest aches at the sight of his upset face, knowing that you do have feelings for him. You always have, and have always tried to convince yourself otherwise.

“I’ve had feelings for you since forever ago, but I was too scared to-" He continues but to shut him up, resting your forehead against his. Your y/e/c eyes meet his hazel eyes and they bite into each other, the silence of the moment relaxing us.

“I really like you too, Gray." You whisper against his lips, cheeks unintentionally turning a bright shade of red. A cheeky grin spreads on his face before you lean in and connect your lips into a soft kiss, making Graysons heart race.

“Aww, finally! You guys are so cute! Kristina, aren’t they so cute?” Ethan exclaims and Kristina agrees excitedly, making both of you jump. “What the fuck, Ethan!” Grayson yells at him, making you stifle your laughter as you hide your head in his neck.

“Sorry, sorry! We’ll let you guys get back to what you were doing, C’mon Ethan” Kristina pulled him into the house. Grayson leans down to leave a kiss on your shoulder as you laughed into his neck. “Just don’t fuck in my swimming pool, I swim in there y’know-” Ethan says and your face turns more flushed than ever.

“Get the fuck out!” Grayson yells at his brother, making Ethan stumble inside. He shakes his head as you giggle at how angry he was, making him pull away from you so you took you head off his shoulder and faced him. “You find that funny, huh?” Grayson teased, raising his eyebrows as you shook your head, but your laughter said otherwise.

“You’re hot when you’re angry” You state honestly, leaving a kiss on Grayson’s cheek. He immediately becomes flustered, now becoming his turn to hide his face in your neck as you laugh once more.

[rhyrhy462]

Sleepover (G.D.)

Pairing: grayson dolan x best friend!reader

Warnings: bad writing, pining, one swear word, semi-sappines, self-indulgent because of the big mouth thing and the snacks

gif by @pinof

Everyone knew that Grayson Dolan went to bed early. It never failed that he was turning his phone off and putting it on his nightstand at midnight.

His best friend, Y/N, was a night owl. She went to bed at 3 in the morning most of the time.

Grayson and Y/N tried to squeeze in sleepovers whenever they could. These usually happened on Friday nights and consisted of, in no particular order, eating dinner, watching a movie, begging Grayson to take you to a grocery store to buy snacks, listening to music, begging Grayson to get you ice cream, and sleeping.

So just like all the other Friday nights, Y/N knocked on Grayson and Ethan’s door at exactly 6:53pm. She knows it’s a very specific time, but Grayson always has dinner ready by 7:05. So if she gets there at the perfect time, dinner will be ready and Grayson can’t yell at her for getting there too early when she complains about being hungry.

“It’s open, Y/N” Grayson yelled through the door, right as she was turning the knob and pushing the door in.

“I don’t even get a hello? I brought you homemade almond butter and everything!” If there was one thing Grayson loved in this world, it was Y/N’s homemade almond butter. He knew she just got the recipe online, but every time he tried to make it, it just didn’t turn out the right way.

“I’m sorry babe. Come give me a hug” Y/N felt her heart flutter when he called her ‘babe.’ Yeah, they called each other pet names all the time, but he said it so casually, almost as if she was his girl-

“Come gimme a hug.” Grayson pressed again, just as she started walking towards him.

She wrapped her arms around him, just as he wrapped one arm around her, still pushing around vegetables in a pan. “I missed you.”

Y/N and Grayson hadn’t had a sleepover in about a month and a half. They had both been busy. Whenever they did get to see each other, it’d be for an hour or so, but they never got to have fun with each other. “Missed you more.” Grayson replied, right as he was dumping the vegan stir-fry onto their plates.

“Looks good.” She said, as she started putting dishes in the dishwasher. If Y/N hated anything, it was having to do the dishes after she’s gotten comfortable. Lucky for her, Grayson had listened to her and started putting dishes in the dishwasher as he went along instead of having 30 dishes in the sink. She put the five dishes that had been left in the dishwasher, picked up her plate, and looked at Grayson questioningly. She was silently asking him if he was ready to go eat in his room.

“Let’s go.” Was all Grayson had to say to have her following him to his room.

Once they made it to Grayson’s room, Y/N plopped down onto his bed as he picked up the remote from his desk and tossed it to her. Every sleepover they alternated who got to choose what they watched. This time, it was Y/N’s turn. She turned his tv on and went straight to Netflix. Grayson had a feeling he knew what she was gonna pick. She threatened him with it all the time, but she did actually want to rewatch the show.

Grayson groaned as soon as he saw that she was hovering on Big Mouth. “What’s wrong with Big Mouth?” She genuinely wanted to know his answer.

“You’ve seen it at least ten times and you quote the whole show.” Grayson complained. He wasn’t wrong though. Y/N knew Big Mouth like the back of her hand. The reason why she watched it so many times was so she could directly quote the show. She already knew most of the iconic lines, but there were some she was still trying to learn.

“It’s my night to choose, babes. I hate to break it to ya, but I choose Big Mouth.” She said, just as she clicked on Season 1, Episode 2 ‘Everybody Bleeds.’ It was one of her favorite episodes because it was funny, but also because she knew the quotes. It was also the first episode Ladybug appeared in. If Y/N was honest, Ladybug was probably her favorite character. Ladybug was also the only character that she could completely quote.

With food in hand, she got as close to Grayson as humanly possible, just as he was draping a blanket over both of their legs. They ate while they exchanged jokes and talked about how’d they’d been, all while Y/N still managed to quote the best lines from Big Mouth.

They had finished eating a while ago. Now it was 9pm and Y/N wanted snacks. From their cuddled up position, she looked up at him, to see him looking at the screen. She smiled to herself because as much as he hated to admit it, Grayson thought Big Mouth was hilarious. “Gray?” She questioned, because yes, they had had dinner two hours ago, but she was ready for snacks.

He didn’t even have to look at her to know what she wanted. The first thing he did was look at his watch to confirm what time it was. It never failed. Around 9 o’clock, Y/N always wanted snacks. So he untangled himself from her and sat up, rubbing a hand over his face. His eyes darting around the room trying to find something that Y/N is completely unaware of. “Grayson? What are you looking for? Where are you going?” She asked, rubbing her eyes.

“I’m looking for two hoodies. You want to go get snacks don’t you?” Grayson said, realizing that none of his hoodies were anywhere in his room and he’d have to go into his closet.

“You know me so well.” She said, grinning when Grayson came out of his closet, two hoodies in hand, and tossed one to her.

Right after she slipped it on, on top of her shirt, Grayson was asking her, “Ready?”

He didn’t even wait for her response, just started walking towards his bedroom door, to which she followed right behind him, all the way to the Porsche. After they got in the car, he turned to look at her and asked, “Where we goin’?”

“Target.” She responded, as he started backing out of the driveway. Y/N always, always, let Grayson choose the music. Grayson always said the driver got to choose the music, but she never put up a fight with anything he chose. Which is why when Grayson asked her to shuffle his Young Thug playlist, she did it. No questions asked, bobbing her head to the music, even rapping some of it, on their way to Target.

When they got there, Grayson parked in the closest parking space he could find. There were a few cars in the parking lot, but not too many. Even if Grayson hadn’t seen Y/N in a while, he always kept three masks in his car. One for himself, one for Ethan, and one for Y/N. They both put their masks on and started walking toward the entrance.

When they got inside, Y/N was grabbing Grayson’s hand and dragging him all the way to the snacks section. The first thing she grabbed was pretzels, one of her all time favorite snacks, but sometimes she forgets how much she likes them. She went on a search to find Nutella, which in the process, Grayson made a smart comment about it not being vegan. Then she grabbed two bags of Doritos, cool ranch and nacho cheese.

Immediately after she grabbed the Doritos, she thought about ice cream. Grayson was on this stupid health kick getting ready for this match with Logan, that doesn’t even have a date. Because of that, it had become 200 times harder to convince Grayson to get ice cream. He knew that if he was around Y/N when she was eating ice cream, he’d cave. Which is why right now, when he saw that look in Y/N’s eyes, he knew exactly what she wanted.

He didn’t even let her get it out, “No.”

“But I didn’t even-“

“Absolutely not. I’m trying to eat healthy.”

“You don’t have to have any. Just let me get some.” She pleaded.

“Y/N, no. Are you done?”

“Grayson, please?” She begged, giving him that look that she knew would make him say yes.

“Fuckin’ fine. Let’s go” Grayson said, giving in.

So they walked to the ice cream section. Y/N already knew what she was going to get. She picked up two jars of Talenti. She made sure to choose vegan flavors, so she chose Alphonso Mango and Roman Raspberry. Grayson groaned when he realized she chose vegan ice cream. “You want me to have some that bad?”

She just nodded and told him, “I’m ready to check out.”

They walked to self-checkout and put everything down. Grayson always let Y/N scan because it was one of her favorite things to do. She didn’t know why, it just made her happy. When she had scanned everything, she went to pull out her card. “Uh-uh.” This was a conversation they had all the time. Y/N could afford to buy her own snacks, but Grayson just wouldn’t allow it.

“Grayson, at most it’s 25 dollars. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“I invited you over, so I should pay for it.”

“I asked for snacks, so I should pay for it.”

“Let me pay for it this time and then you can pay me back later.” Grayson only suggested that because he knew she never carried cash and he didn’t have cash app.

“Fine, but I get to buy them next time.”

“Ok, fine.” Grayson just shrugged his shoulders.

“Promise.” Y/N said, holding out her pinky.

“I promise.” Grayson said, as he linked their pinkies together rolling his eyes.

The ride back to Grayson’s house was smooth, but it felt long. So long, that Y/N tilted her head back and closed her eyes for what felt like 2 minutes. It actually ended up being a little under 30 because when she was opening her eyes, they were pulling into his driveway.

Grayson didn’t say anything about her falling asleep. Every chance he got, he’d glance over at the sleeping girl beside him. Right now, though, he was running over to open the car door for her and help her out. Every time she fell asleep in the car she was always disoriented for a few minutes after.

When they got back to his bedroom, spoons in hand because they stopped at the kitchen to get napkins and spoons, Grayson dropped the bag in the middle of the bed while Y/N crawled right back in his bed. As Grayson was climbing into bed, Y/N realized that it was a little after 11pm. She knew once Grayson had some ice cream, he’d be out like a light and she’d be up all alone, but she just wanted to live in the moment. Turning Big Mouth back on, they snuggled, both holding ice cream and a blanket thrown over them because Grayson knew Y/N got cold when she ate ice cream, but refused to admit it.

It was closing in on 12am and she saw Grayson trying to keep his eyes open and converse with her about any and everything. “Go to sleep, babe. I can stay up on my own.” She murmured to him as she went to reach for the remote to turn the tv off, so Grayson could sleep well.

Grayson grabbed the remote before she could and sat up a little bit straighter, “Don’t be silly. I want to stay up with you.”

“Babyyyy.” She said, absolutely oblivious to the fact that he was in love with her and would stay up all night with her if it meant getting to hang out with her.

“I love you, Y/N.” And he meant it with everything he had.

“I love you more, bub.” She responded, as Grayson pulled her even further into his chest.

tagging: @blindedbythelightt​ @333dolans​ @foxglovedolan​

A/N: hi! if you read it, thank you!! this had no business being 2k words, but it’s my longest fic thus far. if you have feedback let me know. if you wanna be tagged, which idk why you would, but if you do lmk. this literally took like 3 hours to write becuase writers block 😭😭😭😭 anyway, this is so self-indulgent i- anyway, love you sm. peace ✌️

[jtsfavslut]

Falling [G.D]

Description: Just when Y/N thought she was over Grayson, he pops back into her life, making her wonder if you could fall for the same person twice. Inspired by ‘Falling’ - Harry Styles. 

Warnings: None, Just sad stuff lmao!!!

Word Count: 4K+

Also a special thanks to cole [ @blazedgraysons​] for keeping up with my annoying ass questions while I wrote this, and for helping me and giving me advice I love you <333

   Her small feet carried her body down the familiar street, cars zooming past her as her body softly bumped into the others around her. The loud sounds from the environment being blocked away by the soft, yet loud music that was coming out of an old pair of Airpods she had gotten for Christmas back in High School.

This was Y/N's daily routine. Get up early in the morning, do her business in the bathroom, get dressed, and walk over to her favorite cafe. The Beachwood cafe had become Y/N's second home ever since she moved to L.A, spending most of her time there, before and after class.

A smile lit up her face as the familiar blue door came into her view, a content sigh falling past her lips as she got closer to the door.

The strong smell of coffee hit her nostrils as she walked inside, music being paused as she walked fully inside, giving her attention to the cashier that greeted her every morning, "Hi Y/N, your stuff is on your table," she smiled up at Y/N before pointing towards her usual table.

It was the one by the window in the corner of the shop, the bright yellow and blue floor illuminated her small journey to the table, where her coffee and breakfast sandwich happily waited for her to approach. She sat down, hand reaching into her Yellow Kanken backpack, another Christmas gift from high school that she dearly took care of, she pulled out a brown journal and a pen.

A journal filled with memories and random thoughts that popped in her head. Y/N thought writing things down was good for the mind and body. She believed that writing things down would help you keep your thoughts safely, and lock memories into place without overworking your mind. A pen that has been through many journeys on the same yet different page.

All pages were the same until the pen went over it, recording things until the end of time. They were all the same until she wrote down her thoughts for the day.

Her small hand gripped onto the pen as she wrote down her thoughts from the previous night, coffee cup in the other hand as she slowly sipped the liquid.

Last night I thought of him again, just until I drifted off. I don't know why. It hasn't happened in months. Nothing bad, just a memoir of all of our memories together. Like the time we broke into the school's pool one night. Where he pushed me in with all my clothes on, then he jumped in and we made out by the stairs. Funny how we never got caught since cameras were around us. Or when we had our senior trips to the mountains in Colorado, and how he kept sneaking into the girls' room just to be with me. We were lucky we didn't get caught again. I tried to not keep thinking about him. I know it's time to finally drop it and move on, but how? How do I erase all those memories from my brain? How am I supposed to just drop it and move along? Just how? I don't need or want to know why just how.

She softly slammed the notebook closed, right before she could feel a slight burning in her eyes and a rock starting to form in her throat. The subject of her and a past lover that she was still holding onto, still being a deep wound to her.

She thought about and remembered Grayson every day. After all, he was her everything during her entire High School life, and he still was…...sort of.  Grayson and Y/N started dating in the 9th grade, right about in the middle of the year. He asked her out behind the school's bleachers during lunchtime, a mixture of flowers from his mom's garden that she shyly accepted from him after she said yes. That was followed by their date to the movie theater, where he held her close to him every time she faked being a little scared, not that he could tell, and three dates after he officially asked her out where she said yes again, and that was followed by an accidental kiss, he was leaning towards her cheek when she accidentally moved her head to the side, causing his lips to land on hers. Neither of them complained, just smiled at each other and carried on.

They went on for 6 years, all of high school and two college years, where he decided to break it off because of distance. He went off on how being across the country from one another was hard, and the fact that the time difference from New York to California was 3 and 4. She didn't complain. Didn't give a reason as to why not, even if she had trillions of them. She didn't try to change his mind. She simply said okay, and wished him the best. She still loved him though.

The words that her grandpa had spoken replayed in her brain every time she questioned why she still thought about him; "You never stop loving anyone sugar, you just kinda love someone stronger. If you stop loving them, then you never loved them to begin with" She thought about that, and that made her feel better. Maybe there was someone out there who she would love more than she loved Grayson.

With a quiet sigh, she put her journal away, switching it with a book she picked up at the library a few days prior, yet read a million times.

To Kill A Mockingbird is a book she read many times in school, mostly everyone has. It's the one book from school she actually enjoyed, so she picked it up from the book shop down the street from her apartment before work one day, and didn't get to read it until now.

She opened the book with a small smile, the sensation of the book against her finger bringing nothing but happiness to her, and took her mind off whatever was bothering her. She lost herself in the book, almost done with half of the book before her alarm rang, signaling it was time for work. She left a 20 on the table after putting all her stuff away in her backpack and walking out of the shop and towards her job which was a paid internship at a local hospital downtown, all she did was watch and help out with minor cases like cuts, sprains, X Ray's and the occasional stuff like questioning. She entered the hospital, sanitizing herself and changing into her uniform, walking over to her area, that being the Pediatrics Emergency room where her boss, mentor, whatever you might want to call him, Dr. Reyez, and the rest of the team were waiting for her.

"Morning everyone," she chirped at the tired yet awake health care workers, who all had smiles on their faces. "Morning Y/N, you're going to be practicing by yourself today, can you handle it?" Dr. Reyez asked her, which she just nodded her head with a smile. There wasn't a single ounce of doubt in her brain.

"I'm pretty sure yes! And I can just reach out to you guys if anything, right?"

"Yeah, just page us if anything. Your first patient should be here soon, just go wait by the desk," Reyez instructed her and that's exactly what she did. She sat on the desk for over 20 minutes until someone came in with a toddler covered in rashes.

"Hi baby, I just need to ask you and mommy a few questions, yeah?" She sweetly and patiently asked the 5 year old as his mom was filling out some papers, to which he just nodded his head.

"Okay, Xavion, did you eat something new today? Maybe something you've never eaten?" She asked and both the mom and son nodded their heads.

"Do you think he was allergic to something?" The mom asked, causing Y/N to shrug.

"Well, it depends. We need to get an allergy test for him. It doesn't hurt or anything, we just scratch and pour a drop of the allergen over it and see how they react. Mom, do you happen to remember what he ate today for the first time?" She replied by recording some notes down on her clipboard before telling a nurse to get an Allergy Antibody Test ready.

"He ate everything that he usually does except for some broccoli I gave him," the mom replied and Y/N nodded her head before writing it down on her clipboard and walking them to the testing room.

Once the results came back around half an hour later, Xavion was, in fact, allergic to broccoli, and other things that Y/N had to explain to the mother. She got about 15 minutes of break time before Reyez called her another minor emergency.

"It's an 11 year old, possible breakage or sprain to the leg, you can handle this one right?" He asked and she nodded her head, "Good, they're in room 217, good luck," he added before sending her off to the room.

She quickly made her way over to it, grabbing her clipboard on the way, "Hi, I'm Dr.Y/LN, I'm going to be taking care of you guys today! May I have the child's name and date of birth please?" She nicely asked as she walked inside the room, quickly walking over to the desk area that was in the corner and placing her stuff down.

"Uhhh, Caleb Dolan, August 17, 2008," a deep voice that she could recognize from anywhere spoke as she turned around. Her heart dropped at the sight of Grayson in front of her. She tried to reassemble herself, after all, she couldn't make any mistakes right now, Reyez was trusting her and she couldn't afford to mess the opportunity up.

"Caleb, August 17, 2008," she mumbled as she wrote it down on her piece of paper, "Caleb, do you mind telling me what happened, babe?" She asked with a smile on her face. Her smile turned into a small frown as she looked up at the boy who happened to be in pain.

"Me and uncle Gray were practicing for the soccer game that's next and I fell on the mud and hit my leg really hard," he explained as she walked towards him nodding her head.

"On a scale of 1 to 10, One being okay while 10 being the worst, how would you rate the pain?" She asked, walking over to the walk to grab a pair of gloves, putting them on, and walking back towards him.

"Uhh a seven," he replied and she nodded her head.

"Okay Caleb, just know this might hurt a little okay? It's just protocol to check if it's dislocated, broken, or sprained okay?" She asked and he nodded his head, a few tears falling down his face from fear. Grayson quickly leaned down to wipe off his face whispering a quiet 'you'll be okay' as Caleb grabbed his hand.

"Can you try and move your ankle for me? Just try and move it," she explained and he muttered at quiet yes before moving his foot in a slow circle, she nodded her head before placing both hands over his ankle checking for any bumps, which there were none to find, "Luckily for you Caleb, it's just sprained! There are no bumps meaning it's not dislocated, and you can move it meaning it's not fractured! Just to make sure, we're going to need an X Ray' just to make sure there are no hidden surprises yeah? Dr. Lindsey will do those with you, and I'll be right here when you come back," she smiled up at the boy before Dr. Lindey moved him to a wheelchair and took him to the X Ray room, leaving Y/N and Grayson alone in painful silence.

"So this is what you do? This is where you work?" Grayson was the first to speak after a couple of quiet seconds,

She cleared her throat and nodded her head, placing her hands inside her white jacket, "Yeah. It's a paid internship so it's basically a job, what about you? What are you doing here?" She asked to make direct eye contact with him.

"Moved here after me and E graduated, looking for some roles and an agent," he spoke, his voice not as deep yet shakier than when he first spoke.

"Any luck with that?"

"Yeah. We've landed a few small roles here and there," he answered and she just nodded her head.

"That's good! I'm glad everything's working out for you," She gave him a genuine smile before continuing to fill out Caleb's paperwork.

"Listen, I know it's been 2 years but-," Grayson began to speak before Y/N cut him off. "-Grayson just don't. I'm at work right now, and it's enough seeing you after 2 years, but I don't really need this right now. I'm sorry," She apologized before leaving the room to get some papers before walking back in, thankfully Caleb was already in the room when she walked in.

"I'm going to wrap your ankle up with this and then you're good to go, buddy. Make sure you don't apply pressure on it for two weeks. And carefully when you're playing any sport, I don't want you back here," she said while wrapping his ankle up carefully. She gave Grayson the discharge papers, their hands touching each other for a split second before she pulled away waving them off before walking to where her team was.

"That guy was looking at you intensely," Reyez pointed out, earning a glare from her.

"Don't even start," she rolled her eyes before taking a sip from her water bottle that was on her desk.

"Wait is that the?" Jacob, one of the nurses, asked and she nodded her head.

"Yeah, that's him," she sighed, shaking her head.

"Holly shit Y/N, I knew you said he was hot, but girl? That man is hotter than-,"

"Mackenzie, don't you dare," Y/N joked towards her other co-worker, "God why do you do this to me? I was almost over him and then you put him on my path again? The universe hates me,"

"I'd go for it again if I were you," Mackenzie encouraged earning a glare from her.

"Alright, leave her alone before she starts to crumble, Mackenzie go fill out reports, Y/N go take a breather," Reyez ordered them around and they all nodded their heads, going on their way to do what they were told.

. . .

Soft snores began to quietly run past her lips as she drifted off to sleep, all before a feeling of suddenly falling down an empty whole woke her up. She shook her head letting out a quiet 'fuck' before turning to look towards the clocks on her nightstand, 3:30 AM being brightly displayed on it. Y/N let out a loud sigh, knowing she wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon.

Her mind suddenly clouded with knotted thoughts and notions, too many of them just to focus on a single one. She pushed her body up, just enough for her to reach over and grab the small yellow backpack that she lazily threw on the floor, pulling her journal and pen out before throwing it back on the floor.

She clicked the pen and opened the journal, blank pages waiting to be filled up, her hand delicately moved along the paper as she scribbled letters and words on the empty pages, thoughts clearing out of her head, one by one.

I saw him today. He looked different. He's grown. After it all, it has been two years. His voice is deeper too. He wanted to talk, but I said no. Maybe if I did, I would fall for him again, or something. I'm doing just fine, so why did he have to move here. Anyway, Reyez finally allowed me to take care of patients by myself today. It was fun, I liked it, I guess. Luckily I'm free tomorrow because I can't sleep at all now. Maybe it's the repeating thoughts of him running through my mind, or just simply the lack of melatonin in my body right now. I'll probably go to the park tomorrow, stop at the cafe first then make my way there, but anyway, I'm going to try and sleep now.

It was a quick entry, nothing special, just her major thoughts being written down, just enough for her to feel better. She got up from the bed walking over to the kitchen grabbing a water bottle before leaning against the counter and sipping it. She crossed her bare legs over each other, looking out of the big window in her living room. Her favorite part about the apartment? It was the window that looked down on bright LA city. Y/N could sit there for hours and not notice the time pass by, she knows this because it happened before. She left the kitchen and walked towards the window, propping her body down on the small couch she had in front of the window. She laid her head on her hand, watching the few cars that sped down the street, the small yet bright red lights disappearing into the distance as her eyes followed them until they could.

Her eyes softly closed as she laid down on the couch, drifting off into another universe. The next morning she woke up at around 8 AM, doing her daily routine, except she stopped at the Cafe, picked her things up, and made her way to the park. It was an old park, there was an old playground that seemed like it hadn't been used in years. She sat down on an old bench drinking her coffee as she watched the scenery.

She didn't take her notebook out, her mind not having any thoughts, or at least no thoughts relevant enough for her to write down. She just took her time to take her surroundings in. She admired how the wind moved the trees, yet they were so strong they didn't crack. The way the birds lifted off whatever surface they were, and drifted off into the sky. She admired the rare butterflies that randomly appeared just to disappear once again. She simply admired the earth, something that she didn't do quite often; Always being too deep in her thoughts to actually study the things around her.

"They're beautiful aren't they?" Grayson's voice spoke out of nowhere, making Y/N do a slight jump in her seat as her heart raced.

She brought her hand up to her chest, a sigh falling past her lips as she glared at Grayson who was chuckling, "You fucking scared me,"

"Sorry," he sighed, sitting down next to her.

They both let out sighs. Both knowing that there was no escaping the conversation that was about to happen, a conversation that was long due.

"You could, hmm, you could go first," she spoke after a few moments of silence, throat dried making her clear it in the middle of some of her words.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. You were working, and Ummm, it wasn't the right place or time to talk about things. I'm also sorry because I never gave you an explanation as to why we should've broken up. After all, you didn't ask anyway," He softly spoke. He thought every word through, studied each meaning before letting them run past his lips.

"I didn't ask because it's what you wanted. Your decision was clearly made. I mean, I don't think breaking up with someone is a spontaneous thought is it? Your decision was made, and if you felt like I was holding you back, then I had to let you go, if I loved you, then I think I did the right thing." Her words were careful too. And quiet, so quiet feeling that if she spoke too loud the things around her would break.

"I didn't want to break up. I felt like it was the right thing to do, you know? We were always so busy, and we made time for each other, but it was exhausting. And when you were out with friends, I felt like I was annoying you or something," he sighed and she shook her head, the thought of her ever getting annoyed at Grayson's presence being absurd.

"Oh God absolutely not," she chuckled, "I thought I was annoying you. Like I wondered if you talked about me, or not. I wanted to know if I annoyed you because I felt like I did,"

It was true. In her journal, multiple pages were filled out with her question herself on whether Grayson talked about her or not. Even after the breakup, she wondered if he'll ever need her. Most pages were about him, all of her thoughts revolved around him, always.

"I did. All the time, to the point where I said your name subconsciously," he smiled, remembering the conversations he had with his friends about her, and how great she was.

"I did too, well not say but write," she sighed, leaning her back on the bench.

"You wrote about me?"

"Grayson you know I did, that's a dumb question," She shook her head, taking a sip of the coffee that was somehow still warm.

"Do you still write about me?" He asked and she stayed quiet, not knowing whether she should answer truthfully or not.

"Honestly speaking, I do. I write about everything that comes to mind, so sometimes? Yeah," she sighed, knowing that it would be easier if they just told the truth.

Maybe this was the closure that they both needed, yet never got. Maybe this was going to help her fully move on from him, and have thoughts that don't include her.

Or maybe not. Maybe this would help them reconnect. Y/N left it all up to the universe. She was a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that you can't change your future since it's already written about. When she got home after a couple of hours she took a shower, lit on her favorite candles, and did the expected. She took out her notebook and wrote.

We spoke today. He told me the reason why we broke up. It wasn't an intentional meeting though, I was just admiring nature. I was looking at the butterflies I think. He randomly spoke. And I know it was long due and needed so I just told him to say it. It's better to just get it over with than to just keep pushing it back, I think. He told me why he wanted to break up, which right now, sounds like a valid reason. I just wonder why he didn't just say it back then. It would've saved me a lot of nights, don't you think? He now knows I write about him, and where I go to write about him. Maybe I shouldn't go there anymore. It sounds out of this world I know. But maybe, just maybe, I should just close that chapter in my life.

There are just too many memories of him at Beachwood. That's where he surprised me the first time he came to visit. And it's where I write about him the most. I could find another cafe near here, there's plenty.

I just wonder if we're ever going to see each other again. If I'll ever fall for him again, if that is even possible. Because I don't think you could fall for the same person twice, right?

That was the last page in her journal. All the pages filled with her delicate letters, her writing being eternal. Filled with on-going words until the end, where an unanswered question laid. The weight that was once on her shoulders began to fade, and for once in her life, the thought of her future no longer made her afraid.

 This is the first time I’m proud of a something I wrote, so if this flops, I will deactivate! Just kidding, sort of. Anyways, yeah, I feel like my writing has improved, and as always, if you have any tips, and/or constructive critism, please, please, please drop them in my inbox, and don’t worry, I won’t say your hurting my feelings lmfao!! 

Tag List:   @guiltydols @evergreendolan @ydolanssss @rhyrhy462 @resilientdolan @simplyxdolxstyles @simplyxdolxstyles​ {If you wanna be added to my Tag List, just let me know :) lol}