hello there! I am the aforementioned friend--I will be going by Ariadne on here as we work on getting the details of this alt-Warhammer nailed down. I am very excited to share more of the extremely self-indulgent changes we're making to this TTRPG!
For now, I want to talk a little bit about the Great Spiders. they are one of the more especially and flagrantly "we just wanted this in the setting" elements. Is there existing precedent in Warhammer Fantasy for the spiders the forest goblins ride being intelligent? Yes! the books foreshadow a great deal about this. Is there existing precedent for the spiders being able to talk, having weird gobliny faces, or occasionally possessing the power to weave special magic cloaks and shapeshift into humans like they're selkies?
I am sure it was cut for lack of space!
anyhoo! There are many theories about how the Great Spiders got to be so big and so clever. wizards propose that they are werbeasts or shapeshifting magic-users who embraced the spider more than the man. campfire tales tell of a spider winning a bet against the Ruinous Powers, or perhaps making a bet that is still ongoing. others speculate that they are just another cruel creation of Chaos sent to torment the good, civilized people of Reikland, because of course everything must be about them.
the Great Spiders are not always very helpful to historians. historians often forget to bring live meat. historians often forget to show up by day and stay on the path. most seriously, historians often forget that the Great Spiders who want to talk to them, who assume pleasing human forms and happily invite the historians into their parlors to discuss the matter further, are the exact kind they should never, ever listen to.
I feel as though we are getting off on the wrong sticky strand of webbing, though! all of it is sticky. that's the problem. The Great Spiders aren't wicked, exactly.
They're spiders. That's what they keep telling people. they are not werbeasts, not Chaotic creations. nobody ever believes them. "But then how have you grown to such size?" the philosopher asks. "Why are your faces so humanlike? And what kind of quirk of fate could give the gift of speech to a humble arachnid?"
why give the philosopher a tongue, the Great Spider replies sweetly, if she never uses it to string together intelligent questions?
Here is a list of Great Spider facts!
Great Spiders are dangerous. They aren't wicked. Their minds are alien, and they are only people, in the sense of basic ethical responsibility, when they consciously choose to make the attempt. They're spiders. Be patient. Don't be stupid.
Great Spiders aren't sociable and don't hunt in packs. They do communicate with one another and avoid feuding. Spiders just don't do communities the way other species do. It seems nice to them in theory. They can certainly form friendships. But they don't really like having to share space. It's not a thing spiders do.
Great Spider sorceresses learn the art of weaving beautiful silver cloaks which allow them to take human form. They are well-respected among Great Spiders, as long as they don't get weird about it.
A Great Spider who is more socialized around humans or goblins is generally a lot easier to talk to than a Great Spider who has never before met a human outside of the context of a hunt.
They're spiders.
Stay on the path.
It is customary for a guest to bring a source of live meat that is at least their own weight when visiting a Great Spider's parlor. bringing a bound animal that is too big is seen as a little tacky, showing off. bringing a bound animal that is too small is liable to only wet the spider's appetite.
If you meet a well-dressed woman in the forests and catch yourself agreeing with everything she says, catch yourself drifting off as her words spill over you like heavy water, catch yourself following her off the path, try asking her if her mother knows where she is. using sorcery to hunt is seen by the Great Spiders as being in extremely poor taste. whisperweaving, they call it, a taboo on par with hitting on service workers or playing with your food. It probably won't stop her, but neither will running at this point. anyways, it might at least kill the mood for her a little.
Listen to Omar Schambacher of Great Spiders on the Music Podcast #WriteBehindUs here: http://www.writebehindus.com or iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/episodes-writebehindus/id1044457613
Buy Great Spiders’ Music here: https://greatspiders.bandcamp.com/
Just been to see ‘The Hobbit: desolation of smaug’ when the great spiders came on screen I turned to my friend and said “look Aragogs family relocated to middle earth” she just sighed.
