Marina had just gotten back into bed when there was another knock on the door. She sighed, certain it was Ernest again.
Rubbing her hand over her face as she opened the door, Marina said, "Ernest, please - no more, I -"
Lolita stood in the doorway. To anyone else, she would have seemed expressionless, but Marina knew her well enough to see the fury that lay hidden in the tiniest flickers of her face.
"May I come in?" Asked Lolita, the formality of her voice only further confirming her fury to Marina.
Marina stepped aside silently.
Lolita paced a few times across the room before speaking.
"I presume your return home signals that Amy's safety has been secured?"
"Yes," replied Marina, watching Lolita worriedly. "Hannah has arranged guards for her protection. I've also written to William and he is going to hire a lawyer to investigate the source of the threat."
"Very good," Lolita nodded once, sharply, and then continued to pace.
"Lolita? What are you doing here at this hour?" asked Marina, sitting down with a mix of exhaustion and resignation.
Lolita's laugh was short and bitter, "I can assure you that I have asked myself that very question a dozen times over. "
Marina frowned. "Lolita-"
Lolita continued her pacing and her speech flew out with a speed and intensity that matched her furious energy. "That man - Mr Ernest - that I saw first on the street some time ago - you told me he was merely a neighbour - I believe you even used the word 'acquaintance' - and yet I have seen him for the second time tonight - leaving your home in the middle of the night - which tells me that you lied to me about his connection to you - all of the signs suggest that you have been conducting an illicit affair with a married man - do you deny it?"
Marina was too tired to lie and knew there was little point, "I do not."
Lolita shook her head, as if the tiny sliver of hope she had held on to had been dashed and now all she felt was rage.
"You have been conducting an affair that could bring down not only my law firm but all of our work for the Society in one fell swoop! It is the most reckless and needlessly self-destructive act I have ever witnessed - it casts severe doubt on your morality and your integrity!"
Marina stood and tightened her jaw, "You believe I am unaware of that? You truly think this is news to me?"
"The very fact that you knew all of that and did it anyway only makes this orders of magnitude worse!" shouted Lolita.
"Why are you here?" repeated Marina. "Because I can think of few reasons of morality or integrity that would give you cause to stand outside my house in the middle of the night."
Lolita did not reply but shook her head as if judging the foolishness of her earlier self for ever going to Marina's home.
"Is it, perhaps, possible that your anger is not only at my betrayal to our work, but to a sense that I have betrayed you?" Asked Marina.
Lolita stopped pacing and stared Marina down. The both of them breathed heavily, never breaking eye contact. When Lolita did, it was as if she was given in and accepting a loss.
"You are right. I was not here tonight with moral intentions. I have not been able to stop thinking of our last fight - for fight is all you and I seem to do - when you accused me of not loving anything but my work. You were wrong. I knew deeply, profoundly, that you were wrong. And, in realising that, I came to accept the truth of why you were wrong."
Lolita looked at Marina. Her next words came out half in fury, half in surrender. “Against my better judgement, against my principles, against every sensible consideration, I love you. I love you so much I would endure scandal, ruin, the collapse of everything I have built, if only it meant I might have you beside me. It is intolerable and I am helpless to it. I love you, Marina."
For a moment there was the heavy, uneven sounds of Lolita's breath. Marina held hers, unable to breathe while she tried to process everything Lolita had said.
Lolita stepped forward and sank to one knee.
“I cannot fight you nor my feelings any longer," she said. "I love you. All I want from this life is to have you in it. Marry me."
Marina drew back, her hand slipping from Lolita’s grasp. She stared down at her in disbelief.
“How,” she said, her voice barely audible, “can you imagine I would accept such an invitation? You question my morality and integrity. You yell and scream at me as a governness would a girl. You..." Marina struggled to speak "...call your love for me intolerable and against your better judgement and then ask me to accept it? I would expecr such treatment from a sworn enemy, not someone who offers their hand in marriage.”
"I did not intend to offend you," Lolita replied, still unable to fully remove the anger from her voice, "but nor can I deny the conflict that this feeling brings. It is my integrity and morality that demands I speak honestly in all things."
"What you call honesty, I call cruelty. I could never be with someone who speaks to me as you have tonight. I wish for you to leave and to never see you again."
Lolita hung her head. "Very well."
Marina kept her eyes clamped shut and focused on fighting back her tears. It was only when she heard front door slam shut that she collapsed to the floor, sobbing.
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