Marina wandered without much purpose, her heels tapping over the cobbles in an easy, unhurried rhythm. The ghosts of her past would shimmer on street corners: Jace laughing and Will bent over double after too much to drink. Then there were the other memories - of locked doors and stolen hours; the warmth of breath in her ear and him saying her name as though it meant something.
"Good evening, Miss Marina."
The voice snapped her from the past. Ernest had called to her from the Physics building’s doorway. She realised with a faint jolt, that she had been walking right past it without noticing.
“Mr Ernest.” She offered a polite smile as he jogged over to her. “Still working much too late?”
He glanced down, fussing with his gloves as though they suddenly required great attention. "Old habits, I am afraid... I doubt I can say the same of you. Something tells me you are not out here studying for an upcoming exam."
Marina laughed softly, "No... actually, I'm a lawyer now. At a law firm not far from here. We've been celebrating a win."
"Well, then, I pass on my heartful congratulations," said Ernest with a small bow. "Are you on your way home?"
“I am,” she said, then hesitated, studying his expression. “I can always take the long way, if you’d rather we didn’t walk together.”
"On the contrary," replied Ernest. His gaze flicked to hers, and this time he held it. "I have often imagined what I might say to you, had I the opportunity to speak to you again. After our surprise encounter with the apple pie, I wondered if I had squandered my one chance. I am glad the Watcher is giving me another."
Marina raised an eyebrow slightly as she walked up to Ernest and began the journey back home.
"I want you to know," Ernest began after a few steps, "how much regret I hold for the manner in which our... relationship... ended."
Marina kept her gaze forward, "It was always going to end, Ernest. How could it not? Even if I were happy at the prospect of a life spent as a mistress - which I doubt - you were wracked with far too much guilt to ever truly enjoy what we had."
He nodded. "Indeed, and that is precisely where my regret lies. I viewed what we had with such shame... what I couldn't see was that my time with you was the greatest part of my day. We were not the shame; my sham of a marriage was the shame. It took me some time to realise it, but..."
Marina eyed him curiously.
"...sometimes, what is right in the eyes of society is not right for the individual. I have no doubt that Cora would leave me tomorrow if divorce wouldn't leave her reputation in tatters and break the hearts of our children. I feel the same. And I have asked myself many times over, is that right? Is that fair?"
"You sound like a lawyer," Marina said, giving him a small smile. What she wanted to say is how much he sounded like her - the same wistful wondering about a life beyond Jace, and the same conflicted shame of her feelings for Lolita.
Ernest gave a quiet laugh, "I doubt I could convince anyone of my case. They will just think me a lustful, selfish fool. And perhaps I am. Regardless, I wanted you to know how sorry I am for how I treated you."
"I appreciate that," Marina said, "but I think it important for you to know that I am not sorry. You may recall that I am the one who ended our dalliance, and I do not regret doing so. If I had stayed with you, I would have given up all my dreams for the future in order to hide in your shadows. That would not have made for a happy life."
"And look at you now," Ernest smiled faintly, "A successful lawyer. A happy life, indeed."
They reached their houses and stopped.
"Well, then, Miss Marina, I bid you goodnight. And, should I not see much of you in the future, I wish you a most happy life," said Ernest sincerely.
Marina looked up at the dark windows of the cold house and then said, "I am a different person now to who I was then. I have a career of great purpose. I am an strong woman of independent means..."
"Indeed you are -" began Ernest politely.
"So, there would be no risk of my getting lost in your shadow," she finished, her eyes holding his.
Ernest froze, realising what she was saying.
"I am not permitted to be anyone's mistress. But nor will I ever again be someone's wife. So, what does that mean for me and my desire? Society would say I live alone, untouched. And, to that, I ask... is that right? Is that fair?"
His breath caught, just enough for her to notice.
"Is your wife expecting you?"
"She has not cared for my comings and goings in a long time. I have spent many a night sleeping in my office," replied Ernest, his voice low and heavy.
Marina stepped back and walked towards her front door. "Then you have a choice," she said. "Go home and do what is right in the eyes of society. Or come inside and do what is right for you."
Ernest looked briefly to his house, then followed her inside.
Start (Iron Age) | Start (Roman Britain) | Start (Anglo Saxon) | Start (Medieval) | Start (Tudor) | Start (Stuart) | Start (Georgian)