THIS PART WAS SO DIFFICULT TO PUT UP FOR WHATEVER REASON BUT ITS GOOD IT FINALLY HAPPENED. dedicated to my favorite friend @waltzing-with-christoph aka @fuck-yeah-lets-do-negan-ff <3
Denny Duquette x Alexandria
“You’ve managed to win ‘Guess Who’ six times in the past 45 minutes. I’m calling it, you’re a genius.”
“Well they couldn’t give me a working heart AND a brain, obviously I had to choose the one that would get me more dates with hot cops.”
“Watch it, mister.”
It had been two weeks since your first date with Denny. You came in to visit him during your lunch breaks and continued getting to know him through the various board games you brought in.
“You won ‘Life’ twice the other day, I’d say we’re pretty even.” You thought you’d be used to his smile by now, but it still managed to take your breath away. “Now I will tell you if I were to play you in soccer, I’d kick your ass.”
You laughed at him, his confidence ready to be dented. “You’re looking at a 12 year soccer player, honey. I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Right. We’ll play soccer the same day pigs fly.”
“Denny,” you placed your hand on his, “You’re on the list to get a heart. Sooner or later they have to get to your name, which means sooner or later you’re going to get a heart. You won’t be cooped up here forever.”
He looked down, his smile fading. “That’s not always how it works, Alex. It’s a little more complicated than that.”
Placing your and on his chin, you brought his face up to meet yours. “It’s only as complicated as you make it. Get yourself some hope, Mr. Duquette. We’re in it for the long haul.”
“The long haul?” His face suddenly lit up. You caught yourself trying to think of a quick response, you didn’t want to scare him away with something that happened to slip out because you weren’t thinking.
“Well you know, yeah..the long haul, I mean as long as you’re in the hospital, all that..”
“Using me to get to the hard doctor drugs, I understand.” He smiled, thankfully looking over what you said. You really liked Denny and the last thing you wanted to do was have him running off. Or in his case, wheeling off. He placed his soft yet powerful hand on your cheek, leaning in.
“Mr. Duquette, how are we feeling today? And Alexandria, making our visits a habit, huh?” The blonde nurse strolled into the room, her charm sucking the life out of the room.
“This is Izzie, she’s quite the pain in the ass when it comes to my daily tests.” He elegantly shifted to a more erect sitting position, Izzie’s hands at work, taking notes and pressing buttons.
“Come on, Den. You love our 4 minute daily interactions as much as the next meal you get.”
You sat awkwardly between the two before you started to quietly put the game away.
“I’m not much of a cheater, doctor. It’s never been my style.” He smiled at you, stopping you as you put the game box in your bag, “Plus cheating on a police officer? Not my best idea. It’s not like I could go on the run or anything.” You smirked at each other as the doctor put two and two together.
“Wait, you guys are--”
“And her break is almost over so if you could just let us ride out this visiting hour, I don’t think my heart will give out in the next three minutes.”
Izzie picked up her clipboard and slowly backed out of the room, not used to her blonde locks and lean body not getting her all the attention in the room.
“Now, where were we?”
You stood us and crossed to him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Duty calls. Same time tomorrow?”
“It’s bingo night in the lobby tonight, if you can stand to see me more than once in a day.”
“I’ll be on call, but I can make an appearance. Anything I can bring you from the outside world?”
“Nah, I think you’re just enough. Can’t spoil myself, not when things are starting to look up. Right?”
Smiling, you ran a hand through his hair. “There’s that hope I’m looking for, Denny. I knew you had it in you.”
- dedicated to my favorite person on here @fuck-yeah-lets-do-negan-ff -
“Shit.”
You stared into the void that was your closet, your eyes skimming each article of clothing. It’s not like anything new was just going to show up, but you were hoping something would catch your eye the more you looked at them. You quickly removed your code blue attire and returned to the staring contest with your closet. In case you were wondering, the closet was winning.
It’s not even really a date tho, is it? You thought to yourself. It’s food. Dinner. A good looking man with a defective heart asked to take you out to dinner in his hospital room. You stopped at your mirror on the way out of your apartment taking a final glance at your decisions. Maybe a little lipstick... as you started to put on a second coat you caught yourself, “Oh my god stop it you’re being ridiculous let’s go..” and rushed yourself out the door before you could do any more damage.
__________
You came to room 306, hid yourself behind the closed door and glanced at your phone. 7:56 PM. You tapped your foot impatiently, awkwardly nodding to the other doctors and residents as they passed. 4 minutes felt like 4 years until finally your phone read 8:00 PM. Taking a deep breath, you raised your fist and lightly knocked on the door. “Room service?”
“Right on time.”
You opened the door to find Denny propped in an upright position, a sweater hiding most of his hospital gowns. “Unless you count the four minutes you stood waiting outside the door, then you were early.” You laughed as a filler to think of an excuse as to why you waited but he didn’t let that slide. “You’re not a very good hider.” Once again, his smile pulled you into the room as you took off your coat and placed it on the chair in the corner. “Do you like to wear a badge with every outfit you have? I’m not sure which one I like better so far, the cop badge or the visitors pass.”
You smiled, standing on the left side of his bed. “Yeah, I feel it really completes the whole look I’m going for really, I feel naked without it.”
“Not even five minutes into the date and you’re talking about yourself with no clothes on?”
“Yup, I like to get right to business.”
“But in all honesty, you look incredible. Blue is a good color on you.”
You looked down at the dress you had picked out, ruffing the skirt a little as you tried to smoothly take the compliment. “Well they say wearing your favorite colors always look better. Obviously the only reason I wanted to be an officer.”
“Woah, woah there Alex. I didn’t ask for your whole life story, we’re going to run out of things to talk about!”
You bit your lip, concealing a smile as you sat on the left edge of his bed.
“You don’t look bad yourself. I’m honored you dressed up for the occasion.”
“Thank you, although tan isn’t my favorite color, I don’t have any red sweaters so i had to make do. The best part about my outfit is you don’t know if I’m wearing pants under my gown. Makes the whole evening way more exciting.”
“Wow, and you thought what I said was bad.”
You exchanged tender looks as you saw him pull a tray off the table next to him. Every second you spent looking at him was another second you spent falling for him.
“Now I know you said no jell-o cups...” he removed the covers off the two plates, “but you didn’t say anything about pudding or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”
You laughed into your hand, experience the warmest shock. “Damn. I can’t complain, you delivered. No jell-o cups. I’m impressed.”
“It’s some of the kitchen's best work, I mean just look at how perfectly shaped these triangle sandwiches are. As far as you know, I had to trade in two sets of paper footies to get them to even cut them.”
“Well if I knew it would be such a hassle for you, I wouldn’t have come at all.” You stated sarcastically.
“Ah but that would be playing hard to get, and just so you know that would in no way lessen my attraction for you. So thank you for making this easier on both of us.”
You studied his face as each comment drew out a grin happier than the next making you feel something you didn’t think you could hold in any longer.
“You are something else.”
“If we’re changing names and I’m ‘something else’, then your new name must be gorgeous. Hearing you talk is making my weak heart even weaker.”
That was it. Without thinking you placed a hand on his cheek and leaned into him, kissing him all at once. If his expressions made you crazy, this kiss brought you to a whole new level. Eventually you slowly pulled away, remaining almost nose to nose with him. Looking at his lips you tried to stop yourself from laughing.
“What is it, oh no, am I really that bad of a kisser?” For the first time since meeting him you saw his character dim ever so slightly. Quickly, you started to stroke you thumb on his face, reassuringly shaking your head.
“You’re right, favorite colors do look better on people.” You smirked as you rubbed your finger over his lips, wiping off the lipstick that had transferred from your skin to his. You both smiled, each grabbing a half of a sandwich before bumping them together in a ‘cheers’ motion.
That’s it, you thought to yourself, I’m never stopping myself from putting on lipstick again.
i absolutely love writing this fic because denny is SO fun and easy to write for and it genuinely makes me happy while writing it. I hope you all love it as much as i do
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
"Are you kidding me? Jackson, it's the afternoon of our day off, you know how rare these are… Why are we not leaving?"
"Be quiet… I don't want anyone to see us..."
"Do you think I do? It's been only two weeks and I'm still receiving deathly stares in any room I walk into, so I definitely do not need to be seen walking holding your hand in formal wear…"
The man looked back at her, a smile covering his face, happiness reaching his green eyes. He couldn't care less if someone saw them together and spread the rumor. Even the concern over Stephanie and Matthew's feelings couldn't hide his pride over the fact that the redhead was his wife, forever only his, and that the simple thought made his chest feel like it was combusting.
She was especially beautiful at that moment, wearing the famous green dress that drove him insane at Bailey's wedding. Her cleavage was so tempting at the time, her neck so exposed, that he spent the entire afternoon thinking of the noises she'd make if he could just lick her there… But April had made it clear she was not interested, getting out of her way to get him a date, so the least he could do was to make the arrangement useful. In the present, being aware of where that fateful night drove them, he just wished to be able to make things right this time.
"Stop staring at me…" The woman giggled, hitting him lightly in the chest, making him join her in laugh, circle the wrist with his left hand, pulling her against his body, his back leaning on the wall. The right one, once holding hers down the corridor, was now slowly going up her arm, fingers slightly touching the cream skin. His face went down, nose touching right cheek, breathing roughly against her ear. After a second, Jackson moved just enough to rest his forehead against hers, fingers finally reaching her naked bust, pressing against a small bruise he had left this morning and she tried to hide with makeup, now making her entire body shiver. April felt his eyes going over her body and couldn't help but to feel completely exposed. She was aware of how well he knew her body, having discovered every sensitive spot himself, reminding her of how only he was able to make certain noises come out of her mouth.
"I don't think that will ever be possible…"
She bit her bottom lip, hands soothing his dark jacket, slowly directing them to the button in order to open it and then his shirt. His eyes were dark and she could feel in her center what was going through it. Before she could complete her actions, though, his hands stopped hers, and he took a large step back.
"What…"
"What's the point of a date night if there's no date?" He tried to smile, even if it was painful to do so after letting go of her warm body.
"We are already married, I think I can manage…" The redhead rolled her eyes, picking his hands again, but instead of pulling him, he was the one to move. "There's no on call room this way, Jackson, you should know your hospital by now…"
"I'm not looking for one…" He replied with a side smile while looking over his shoulders to find April confused and slightly disappointed.
"Okay, if you don't want to have sex, can we at least go somewhere where we can rest?"
"Jesus, woman, did I turn you into a sex addict or something?"
"How you wish you were that good…"
The man stopped on his heels, right in front of a discreet door, one that April recognized in a jolt. While the girl frowned, trying to imagine what he could have set at that specific place and time, Jackson was feigning being deeply offended.
"Well, I never heard any complaints from my wife…"
"Jackson…"
"Seriously, maybe I should ask God, she calls him a lot…"
"Jackson."
"And you should see when I go down on her… Maybe I should record it sometime…"
"What are we doing here?"
Her face was beet red, but the smile was soft while she pointed at the closed door. The man pretended to be confused by her questioning line, shaking his shoulders.
"I think it's the rooftop door."
"You think?"
"Yeah… I think we came here once or twice before…"
"Really? You are not sure?"
"Nah, nothing too memorable or anything…"
April nodded, still smiling, going for the doorknob. Jackson was quicker, though, opening it for her, bowing slightly. Giggling at his silliness, she went up the narrow steps, the automatic yellow light from the tight space not giving away anything that could be expecting her at the exit. She could hear her husband steps behind her and the hand he kept on her waist holding tight. By the time she finished climbing the stairs, the expectation was too high to wait any longer, making the redhead open the door and take two steps out immediately.
The rooftop was covered by the orange light provided from the sunset. It was one of the rare days in which rain wasn't pouring over Seattle, the sky having only sparse clouds. They were high enough that the traffic had turned into white noise, joined by the ferryboats in the distance. She had been there before, many times, with Jackson, even with Reed and Charles. It had become their place during the merger, where they all could find some solitude and refuge into each other. After the shooting, the two survivors kept going there for meaningful moments, as if the place could create the illusion that the other couple was still alive. At that day, it was slightly different. Every bit of the floor was covered with wild flowers, loose or over dressers in bouquets. The only path open leaded to a table set for two with candlesticks over it among more flowers. She could see, near it, another display covered with their favorite meals.
With a jolt, she felt Jackson's arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her back against his chest, chin resting in the side of her head. They were both silent for a minute, simply absorbing the view and each other.
"What does this mean?" April smiled, turning to face the man, still inside his arms. When she looked up at him, green eyes glistening with the light, lips curved in a soft smile, dressed up in a suit, all hers, she knew she had made the right choice. There was no way she could ever love other person as she loved Jackson Avery.
"We never went on a date… A proper date, anyway. We would hang out here, or at each other's place… It was amazing, obviously, but I now realize that I should have taken more care of you…"
"Oh, Jackson, I'm sorry… I did hurt your feelings too..."
"We were both scared, but I… I should have let you know that it was not just sex, even back then… If I had just said…" He put a loose strand of red hair behind her ear, holding her face in between his hands, regret and love filling his eyes.
"If We had just said…"
"I wouldn't have ruined your wedding…"
"Silly man… At the time you had already ruined any other man to me…" April smiled sadly, her hands on his neck in order to look deep into his soul and make her husband understand that, in the end, they had always been meant to be. He returned the expression, diverging her attention to his lips, where her eyes stayed for a minute too long. When she returned to his own, they were again darker, looking deeply into hers before setting on her lips. His hands went for her waist, holding her for dear life, while the redhead arms sneaked around his neck, also standing on her toes, pushing herself up for their mouths finally join in a slow kiss.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
She expected the view to have changed after three years without going there, the last time being before her first trip to Jordan, and even though some buildings had been replaced for modern ones, the view line still remained unblocked, allowing her eyes to set on the distance bay, the remaining sunlight reflecting on the undisturbed water, a couple of ferryboats parked, waiting for the sign to leave the margin of the lake. Even though sunrises have always been her favorite, being a natural early riser, stealing comfort for living another day from the sky, Seattle' sunset held too many stories to not have a special place into her heart.
"Figured out I'd find you here…"
She hadn't heard the roof proof door open and close at her back, but had felt his arrival. April couldn't know what Jackson had against her that made her aware of the man whenever he entered a room. The redhead had gone there in order to breath and put her thoughts together, not expecting to be joined, but there was only one person that would note her absence immediately, that would know her soothing place. A person that matched the voice that came from behind her. The same one that put her mind into spiral in first place.
She heard the man move from where he was standing up, against the door, slowly getting closer to her, silently asking permission to stay. As she didn't move or made any sign of his presence being unwanted, he approached the parapet, resting his elbows over the structure, body leaning over it, shoulders relaxed and back erect. He did not turn to meet her eyes, his own focusing on the view April was before staring at. After a few seconds of comfortable silence, the woman glanced back at the sunset in front of her, eyes following a group of seagulls that was crossing the sky, chanting their song.
"I've heard of Diane's surgery… You want to talk about it?" On her peripheral vision, she could see that Jackson's eyebrows had tightened, marking the lines in his forehead.
"I know you are not supposed to share the patient's information but..."
"She was already dying… When she came to me, she was already sick…"
"Jackson…"
"She keeps lying to Maggie, and I don't know what I am supposed to do about it."
"You really can't tell her… It's not your fault. You are doing all in your power…"
"Yes, I know…"
"Then you should… I can't tell you to just relax and do nothing about it… She is your sister… In a weird way that involve both your parents getting married… So I know you feel responsible for her in a way… But you can't drive yourself crazy, lose sleep because of it…"
"I am not?" For the first time since he arrived he moved, turning his face slightly to the left, allowing April to see his questioning expression.
"I've heard you arriving late last night…" She met his eyes with eyebrows raised, daring him, while sporting a small smirk, to tell she was lying. "and I thought you were going straight to your room since Hattie was already asleep, but then I heard the living room TV and you cooking something…"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you up…" He frowned, porting a slightly uncomfortable expression, turning his face away again. April could tell he didn't like the fact that she noted his change of behavior.
"It was not that loud… I was just worried about you…" Her voice was apologetic, thinking that maybe his expression was due to thinking she wanted some control over him after hooking up again.
"Then why didn't you come out?" He was stern, eyes closed, clearly trying to keep some control over himself.
"I didn't know if you wanted me to…" April shrugged her shoulders, hoping that the sunlight would be able to cover the sudden loss of color on her face. Knowing that she was starting a conversation that she was not sure she wanted to have yet, or if he did, she faced forward again, giving him space enough to divert the subject or maybe just leave, but all he did was to take deep breaths and close his hands in fists.
"Diane was not the reason I couldn't sleep last night…" April could see that he was fighting with himself, and she didn't want Jackson to think she was forcing him to act or say something. The redhead reached to his left arm, but he stepped away of her touch, putting both hands on his hips while turning his back to her, facing the sky. "After I left them with Shepherd and Grey… I was so… tired… of not being able to help… anyone. How can I make a kid talk again but can't remove a fucking breast cancer?"
"Jackson…"
"So I went home and it was so quiet, so peaceful… All I wanted was to lay on my bed and rest… But I opened the door to my room and… it was empty…" His voice was rising, filled with angry and… something April couldn't decide what it was. Sadness? Despise? "I don't know what I expected, actually… For us to have sex in Montana and to go back to co-parenting? For us to have sex again on the airplane on the way back and then pretend it didn't happen? We went home, my mother was there, then I was being paged to the hospital, had to anticipate the surgery… And we didn't talk… And still all I can tell you is that I did not expect to go home and be received by an empty bed…"
"Jackson, we are divorced…"
"Don't you think I am well aware of that?" He motioned his hand angrily, looking at the floor around him as if looking for something to kick or hit.
"So what? Do you really that me that much for granted? That simply the fact that we had sex after the divorce means that it suddenly didn't happen?" April was now enraged, exactly what she expected to avoid going up there before going home. Her voice was now loud, fighting his.
"That's not what I meant…" He groaned, turning around to face her, hands in his forehead.
"Really? Because apparently you were expecting me to have moved to your room already, and let me tell you, it's not happening…"
"Why not?"
"What?"
"Why not?" Jackson was now facing her, arms limp beside his body as if he had given up entirely. "Why can't you move to my room? It's not like you can move to my place; you are already there!"
"You told me you wanted me to stay!"
"Yeah, so did you. And know I am asking you why moving to my bedroom is such a bad idea."
"We are divorced!"
"So what?"
"Are you kidding me?"
"April, listen to me. Shit, just…" His hands were again in his forehead and he closed his eyes again, turning around for a second to decide his next act, aware of how defining it was for his future. Knowing that thinking would not solve anything, he decided to face April with simply the truth. "Just listen for a second… What happened in Montana…"
"Was a mistake…"
"No, it was not… It was…" He laughed to himself, thinking how their relationship went back to the point in which they were in an unclear situation after a change in their status quo, pinning over each other but clueless about the next step. They did not only have a track record of hotels, but also of not saying what they felt afraid of getting hurt. He knew that after the divorce, April would not be the one to make the first move, but he hoped she would correspond his. "I just stood there looking at you, and all I wanted to do was to kiss you… And I realized that I've never stopped feeling that for a second since San Francisco. Not after Jordan, not after the freaking divorce. I tried to stay away, to move out, to move on… I was still so angry, so resentful over the whole thing that I just wanted to fucking forget everything… About how you made me feel…" His eyes were locked with hers, her mouth hanging slightly open with all the information he started to toss at her. He wanted to secure her, tell her it would be okay, but the boy knew that if he stopped, he might never be able to start again.
"And then you were pregnant. And you did not tell me… And I was not only mad at you but at me too, because how fucked up was that we were going to be a family if only I hadn't fucking signed the divorce papers? Did I really deserved the pain of having my child dying in my arms for then getting a second with the woman I loved, just after hurting her so much she didn't tell me about it?"
"And then we fought, and fought, and I had to witness Callie and Arizona going at each other throats to realize I didn't want that anymore. And I had to hear you fucking dying on the phone at Meredith's house, to admit to myself that even though I tried to forget everything, I fucking still needed you. I needed to at least see you at the hospital, and to nurse our kid, and to see her grow. How would I be able to raise her alone, seeing you in her, knowing that I was not there for you when you were scared of a second child, or to help calm you down when you felt the baby kicking for the first time… Knowing that I did not tell you that I fucking loved you."
"Because I love you April… I never stopped... You could kill me and I think I'd still do. So when you were there for me, and I realized you had always been, how could I still be hurt? And without the anger… there was only… Us. And I want us. I'm not saying it's going to be easy… But I want to really try this time… And I know this is too much to ask, because I was the one to give up everything… But I need to try again, and I can wait if you want, till I'm dead and who knows, maybe even after, because you are It for me, April. It's always going to be Me and You. I can't go on anymore not knowing… because I do think you still love me too… so, please, can you please tell me if you do?"
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEE LOVE! ( @absolutelylovelife)
All the happiness to you, thank you for being this awesome friend and person! 3 I hope you enjoy!
