Never Tested On Real Pandas!
Flying a bit free and loose here. No rhyme, reason, or time frame. Just stuff what I done ate at some point and had a thought about. Gotta take it easy in preparation for the Halloween junk food onslaught fast approaching. Although I did randomly find the 2017 Monster Cereals already on shelves in mid-August, so I'm 3/4ths of the way done with my yearly Halloween must haves. Once the Little Debbie Pumpkin Delights pop up, everything else is just an afterthought. So this write up may be brief. I'll quietly creep in... leave my musings scattered about... and quietly creep out. Just like when I visit Danielle Harris. Wait... Or it may not be brief. One never knows. I might go on a tangent about the 1962 Jackie Gleason film "Gigot" or maybe Ghoulies IV. You've been warned. Anyway. Let's snack! -Peanut Butter and Jelly Oreo cookies! First off, why are they so vague about the jelly? It's just called "jelly." Not a specific flavor of jelly. Odd. Anyway. The peanut butter dominates the taste, you have to really try to suss out the jelly. Which is a shame, because once you do the combination works surprisingly well. Until the jelly portion hits, it's just a bit of a bland and dry peanut butter gumming up your mouth. It needs the jelly part to cut through that. Not that it's a real "jelly," it is still a cookie cream consistency, but it seems a softer cream, and is a bit sweeter. A little more jelly on the cookie, and you would have had something here, Nabisco. And since you won't give it a flavor attribute, I'm going to call it "Doo-Doo Jelly." Look at me all adult like! -Aunt Jemima Very Berry Griddle Poppers! Was iffy on buying these. As previously mentioned, frozen waffles aren't my thing. Frozen pancakes are also an item I generally avoid. They just seem rubbery and make me sad. But for a couple of months now these things kept catching my eye as I would walk down the frozen food aisle. Not sure why they did, or why I finally gave in, but a Grumpy Panda with a rumbling tummy is easily swayed. So here we have little balls of pancake like stuff with pieces of "fruit" laced throughout. Eh. just as I suspected. No different taste wise than a frozen pancake. If you like those, I suppose you'll like these. While I'll admit these aren't the worst frozen pancake product I've had, they're still not for me. -Oreo-O's cereal! I never had this cereal when it was first on shelves, so I have no nostalgic memories for comparison. Other than knowing this version doesn't have the marshmallows that it's forebear did, this is a whole new cereal to me. Tastes of an extremely dry and far too crunchy chocolate cereal, not much of an Oreo presence. Is the supposed addition of milk meant to simulate the cream portion of an Oreo? These were a bit of a dud. There are far better, and less tooth breaking, chocolate cereals out there. -Honey Maid S'mores cereal! Tastes exactly like what I thought they would be. Take some Golden Grahams, take some Cocoa Puffs, take any cereal marshmallow and mix them together... you now have Honey Maid S'mores cereal. It wasn't bad, but not all that impressive either. Had it not distinctly reminded me of other cereals, maybe it could have gotten a better ranking, -Little Debbie S'mores Rolls! Let me get one thing straight right at the start... I fuc*in' love these things. Little Debbie had a s'more cake thing before a few years back, but it was way closer to a s'more, with a graham cookie sandwich thing going on, than this roll. I don't care. This roll is heavenly. The smell, the heft, the abundance of cream, the taste... magical. I want these to be a permanent fixture, but then again I don't. I would never be able to stop myself from buying a box whenever I entered a store selling them. -Mac n' Cheetos frozen snacks! Because I wasn't paying attention, I accidentally picked up the Flamin' Hot version of this "treat." I'm not a fan of overly hot/spicy things, but I'll give these a go since they're here. In case you don't know, these are little mac and cheese bite things with a crispy/crunchy coating. In this case, the coating (and even shape of these) is meant to resemble a puffy Cheeto. Hmm. The coating is very thick and certainly overpowers the whole thing. The inside is pretty bland and consists of quite cheap mac and cheese, (which should surprise no one, really) and not actually all that cheesy all things considered. And yes, there is a hot kick that stays after chewing that is not my thing. So they got that right, I'm just not the one who enjoys such things. I personally can't recommend these. As a one and done experiment, I guess its just alright. I imagine a younger or a drunker person would have better things to say about them. -Toaster Strudel Strawberry Cupcake pastries! I was really expecting these to be a sugar overload. They're very muted truth be told, and not once was I reminded of a cupcake. The cream inside reminded me more of a custard, and while the icing has a faint strawberry note about it, unless eaten on its own, it gets lost in the fray of crust and filling. Not the best Toaster Strudel, but I can't really detract from it too much, honestly. It serves its purpose, and it tastes alright. It just doesn't taste like a strawberry cupcake. It's more like a Boston cream pie with a very, very faint dash of strawberry flavoring. -Jelly Belly Krispy Kreme doughnut flavored jelly beans! I have no idea when I went looking for these, or even when I had heard of them, but a few days ago I received notification from Jelly Belly that this particular flavor was back in stock. Okay, you stalkers. Trying to ply me with kooky junk food as if I'd fall for such a dangerous ploy. Nice try! So I bought some. Then I ate them. There are five flavors, and here's the breakdown. 1. Cinnamon Apple Filled! Of course. My least possible favorite doughnut is the first one in the mix. Definitely a very sweet cinnamon flavor right at the front. The apple is very faint, but noticeable as you chew. I like these better than the actual doughnut, but not a jelly bean I'd seek out all the same. 2. Strawberry Iced! This one took a long time for any flavor to kick in, and when it did it was very faint. I wouldn't say "strawberry iced doughnut" is what comes through, though. It really just tastes of sugary gelatin. 3. Original Glazed! Well, again, a very muted flavor that comes into play at the back end. Because I know it's supposed to taste like a doughnut, I do get a sense of that. If this were just a random jelly bean I was eating, though, my guess would have been a simple caramel jelly bean. 4. Glazed Blueberry Cake! Wow. They nailed this one. The gelatin aspect aside, this tastes like a glazed blueberry doughnut. Good job on this one. 5. Chocolate Iced With Sprinkles! I am again impressed with this one. I wouldn't say it tastes anything like a doughnut, but it absolutely tastes exactly like the chocolate glaze used on their doughnuts. No sprinkle aspect, either, but I don't care. This is just a damn good chocolate jelly bean. And that's that. Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Grumpy Panda.