A Million Little Things
A Million Little Things
It’s a million little things that tell me you are gone.
No one to hug at night.
No more listening for when you would stop breathing so I could rub your back to wake you and make you breathe again.
No one to tell me stupid, inappropriate jokes that made me laugh and groan
No one to leave the toilet seat up sometimes in the middle of the night.
No one to leave their shoes by the door so I trip.
No one leaves their underwear all over the floor but complains that the girls don’t pick up their socks.
No one to watch cheesy B-rated science fiction movies with as I roll my eyes and you enjoy it thoroughly.
No one to see I need a break and take me on a long drive to let me vent, cry, or pray.
No one to bring me chocolate I don’t want to eat because I don’t crave chocolate that much anymore.
No one to laugh when my irritation overcomes me and I speak what I’m thinking in private.
No one to laugh when I’m sleep-deprived and punchy or when I have a Julia Sugarbaker moment and tell someone off because I have finally reached the end of my fuse and it’s been coming for a while.
No one to listen to my stupid story ideas that will never see the light of day but who also cheers when I realize I need to take my characters in a different direction.
No one to pray with when life is hard.
No one to celebrate when the girls do something amazing.
No one to wear the huge LL Bean slippers I bought that now hangs in the shoe rack over the door and stare at me mockingly.
No one to protect me when life or people, in general, become too hard.
No one to buy stupid Dad t-shirts for that says cool things like “Stay calm let Papa fix it” or “Husband, Daddy, Protector, Hero.”
No one to fix car issues for me so now AAA rescues me, it’s just not the same, I can’t kiss the AAA guy without getting weird looks.
No one to wake me up in the middle of the night simply by saying, “I love you.”
It’s a million little things that scream in the silence that you are with God now and not here with me. Most days knowing you are with God is enough. Today is not one of those days.