#grindrxtra

[worthyzealotswarm]

💉

[worthyzealotswarm]

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[assgod]

47 and 48

this was so for something I posted yesterday but I like the most recent asks more so lets see what matches

47. Is your underwear clean? no, can’t say they are fresh out the laundry

48. Do you change your underwear everyday? unless i’m paid otherwise

[thecluesofme]

grindrxtra replied to your post:Is it bad that I like showing off the ‘d’?

girl same!! i think i have a thing for exhibitionism

Same, but I have something to show off too ;)

[frogsdogsblogs]

I’ve been tagged by grindrxtra to write 5 things I like about myself (Thanks Dan). I sincerely hope my struggle to organize my thoughts is interesting for you all to read. 

1. I pride myself on being able to maintain composure on my outside while feeling emotional on the inside. Not that I push down my feelings --  more like... well... there were a couple of people in my classes last semester who told me that I seem like the person who has her shit together and has everything under control. Fun fact: I do not. Most days I am late to everything, at least slightly frantic, muttering my catchphrases “fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” and “uuuuuuuunnnnnnngggghhhhhh” to myself. haha. Anyway, it was surprising to hear people say this about me, and it was such an unexpected compliment that it still resonates with me. Ever since I first heard the motto “fake it ‘til you make it” as a freshman in college, that’s kind of what I’ve tried to do and after four years, I guess it’s kind of working.

2. I also kind of like being the quiet one. People tend underestimate you, they assume you’re boring, maybe prudish, meek... whatever. The people who get to know me however, know that I am none of these things. And it’s kind of fun to see the surprise on their faces when the non-stop sass and sexual innuendos start coming out. That’s when the true friendship begins. That’s the point where I love being a  terrible goofball and not caring what anyone has to say about it. Sometimes it feels like this process is useful at weeding out people who don’t know how to listen or don’t care to know people on a deeper level. Idk. It’s also fun when someone tries to push my buttons thinking I won’t push back, and I turn around and fucking slay.

3. At this point in my life, I try to stay aware of how much of a good friend/person I am, and I just hope I can stay this way (I’m not saying I’m awesome for being such a great human being, I’m just glad I make an effort to be aware. Because I’m not sure if all people are. Or if they care at all). Sometimes I feel like I talk about myself to much and I tell myself to cut it out and make it a point to ask my friends “how are you doing?”. Sometimes when my parents say stupid, ignorant things, I’ll call them out on it. And I’ll be as blunt as necessary. I’ve had very close friends who were severely bullied, and I’ve seen and heard about how it affected and continues to affect them into their adulthood. I understand that all people have a fragility to them, and this is not something I ever want to test. I hate gossiping, I hate when people pass unnecessary judgement, I hate excluding others. I want to be the kind of person who helps a stranger simply for the chance to make someone else feel better -- to have a genuine and honest interaction with another human. I’m not there yet because interactions with strangers still usually make me nervous (I’m really cool), but one day. 

I wanna be like this modern day female hero: http://wickedlymad.tumblr.com/post/114547862754/an-open-letter-to-the-girl-who-saved-me-today

This is probably more something I wanted to share than something I like about myself... but oh well. 

4) Another thing I like about myself is how I stick to my guns. Even as a kid, my mom told me that she’d get so angry at me because I refused to cry while getting spanked haha. I’d just glare and take it and not respond at all. As an adult, these kinds of guts have helped me a) deal with a boyfriend: I asked him to please stop making feminist joke because they really, truly upset me. He told me to “deal with it" because was “who [he was]” and that there was nothing I could do. Haha, yes there is. I can break up with you. Byyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeee. (guess who was the one upset after that lol) b) deal with relatively unsupportive parents: after hearing constant ridicule for being an art major, generally along the lines of “you better get ready to draw ten dollar caricatures on the street because you’re going to have to pay rent somehow after you graduate! ahahahahaha” I was forced into the “I will prove you wrong” mentality. As much as this is not ideal, it made me work my ass off so I could hand them one hell of an “I TOLD YOU SO”. And now, one museum internship and one Director position later, it may just go to show that this tactic of theirs actually kind of worked. *eyeroll But if I want something, I’ll work for it. If I don’t like what you say to me, I’ll tell you. It’s taken me a long time to be able to give an unwavering, unapologetic “NO.”, but if you’re pushing me to do something I don’t want to do, that’s what you’re going to get.

5) I accept that it’s okay for things not to be okay and I’ve gotten pretty good at rolling with the punches. I will share my two favorite pieces of advice to close this lengthy post:

1-Things could always be worse, so if you’re down, take a while to appreciate all the things you do have and all the things in your life that are going right, no matter how simple. 

2- "I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.” -Kurt Vonnegut

p.s. I tag fozziebearization, moolizzie, and all of my followers who want in bc I know there’s a few mutuals I have who I don’t really know and why not start here.