Vicar: By the way. There is just one little detail with regard to the service.
Would you like me to include the word “obey”?
Lady: What do you think, Birdie?
Lord: I submit that since my daughters have seldom seen fit to obey me, it is scarcely conceivable that they would give any such undertaking to these, ah…
…ah, young men.
Vicar: Quite. Quite. (exiting) Then it is agreed that we omit the word?
Lord: (upon exiting) Quite. Quite.
Lady: Oh my dear Reggie, I’m distracted. This wedding rehearsal has turned the whole house upside down. I went into poor Birdie’s dressing room just now, and they’ve taken off everything except his drawers.
Reggie: I beg your pardon?
Lady: I mean taken away the furniture to put in a bed.
Lady: I mean to put a bed in.
Lady: …and my bedroom’s full of men in green beige aprons, and long hairs on their arms. Long blooms in their hair. Oh, I do hope they’ll be happy.
Reggie: Who? The men with the green beige hair?
Lady: Well, it’s such a lottery. It’s as though everybody could be sure of marrying an Irish sweep.
Reggie: No, well you must try to be an optimist.
Lady: I went to one last week. He said my eyes are perfectly alright.
Reggie: Yes, not an occulist, dear, an optimist.
Lady: hmmm, ‘course, yes…
…Reggie, (demurely) what is that exactly?
Reggie: An optimist is a fellow who doesn’t care what happens, as long as it doesn’t.
Lady: I see…
…Well, that is a help…
…so, if it did, it wouldn’t?…
Reggie: …No, not if it could. I should think.
The Wedding Rehearsal (Alexander Korda, British, 1932)
Roland Young,
Reggie Buckley Candysshe - Marquis of Buckminster
George Grossmith, Jr.,
Birdy Roxbury - Earl of Stokeshire
Lady Tree (born Helen Maud Holt, known professionally as Mrs. Beerbohm Tree, later as Lady Tree),
Mrs. Susan Wroxbury - Countess of Stokeshire
Found nothing on the Vicar.
Written by:
Lajos Biró,
George Grossmith, Jr.,
Helen Gardom,
Arthur Wimperis (dialogue)
(Sir) Robert Vansittart.
information via Wikipedia, and IMDB.