I was still tired. I didn’t manage to get an extra hour of sleep like I had originally bargained for, but cuddling up with Jihoon in our bed after being apart for almost two months was a good compromise.
We were now in the car, heading to the JYP building for the meeting that was set up for me. I looked out the window; I loved Seoul. Even though I was a New Yorker at heart, the scenery was different and I loved it. I've only been here for a week or two at a time, but now, I was here to stay.
I looked down at my hand interlaced with his in my lap. I missed being able to do simple things like this with him; having him in the drivers’ seat and me at his side. My eyes followed up his arm, to his shoulder and stopped at his face which was focused on the road, with his other hand on the steering wheel. I freed my hand from his; letting his hand rest on my thigh as I reach up to touch his face and felt myself smiling without even realizing it.
“You’re so handsome,” I told him as I softly traced the outline of his ear with my fingers. It amazed me how after two years, I was still smitten by him. The way he looked as he casually drove us to the meeting, the way my small hands fit with his; he was perfect to me. To everyone else, he was Rain, the superstar, but to me, he was just my Jihoon.
He flashed me a smile as he pulled into a parking spot near the building. Then he put the car in park, unbuckled his seat beat and leaned over to kiss me deeply. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers as our lips parted.
He then got out of the car, leaving me alone for a minute to catch my breath. My fingers had subconsciously made their way to touch my lips. How did he manage to still leave me breathless? My car door opened and he held out his hand for me to grab as I bit down on my lips to hide the smile that wouldn’t leave my face.
I stepped out of the car and look at the fronts doors of the building and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t they ever leave?”
He looked at the group of about 6 or 7 fan girls sitting outside of the building and readjusted his aviator sunglasses and let out a small laugh, “I think some of them actually changed their permanent address to the JYPE building,”
I readjusted my own sunglasses as I lightly pushed him for not giving me a serious answer.
He laughed again as he grabbed my hand and started walking towards the front doors and again, I wrapped myself around his arm instinctively, just like I did the day before. “You’ll get used to it, babe,”
We were finally making our way through the small group of fans and I listened to all the various conversations going on around me as we walked through the doors.
“Oppa! Will you marry me, oppa??”
“Tell the beastly boys to come out when you leave, oppa!”
“Oppa, is that your girlfriend??”
“Why are you here, oppa?”
“Tell Nichkhun oppa I love him!!”
“Oppa, I miss you, love you!”
Once the doors closed behind us, I breathed a sigh of relief. The lifestyle here was completely different than what I was used to back in the States. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that. I think I just drowned in a sea of ‘oppas’,”
“Jealous are we?” he said as a smiled danced on his lips.
“You wish,” I replied as I started looking around the building. I was here yesterday, but I never got a chance to actually look around the building. We were standing in the waiting area near the front desk waiting for Jin-young to come down and meet us. There were photos of JYP artists all along the walls, past and present. I saw a couple of Jihoon and quickly started to search for more.
Jin-young suddenly appeared from the elevators and came walking towards us with an assistant following him. “Ah, you’re here!”
Jihoon bowed slightly as he took off his sunglasses to greet him, “Hello, hyung. Sorry, we couldn’t come earlier today,”
“No need to worry, its okay,” he replied. “Hello, Hana-sshi,”
I immediately stopped looking at the pictures on the wall and turned to look at him and bowed my head as he grabbed my attention, “Hello,”
“The boys are already upstairs with our vocal coach, we can head up there now,” Jin-young said as he turned to re-enter the elevator.
We started to follow him, Jihoon leading me. I wasn’t sure what to expect out of this meeting. I didn’t remember much of those two guys that Jihoon mentioned from yesterday, they were both pretty quiet. We got to the sixth floor and let Jin-young lead us to a vocal room down the hall. It was a typical practice room; it looked like the ones I used to practice in when I took singing lessons as a child. There was a piano in the middle of the room with four guys standing around it and one of the music executives from yesterday playing the piano.
They were in the middle of a song but they stopped once we walked in.
“Boys, this is Hana. She is new to JYP Entertainment and came from the States,” Jin-young said.
“Hi, we are 2AM,” they all replied simultaneously.
I wasn’t expecting a strong introduction like that, so I had jumped back slightly at their enthusiastic words. I laughed to myself lightly at my reaction and looked at Jihoon to see if this was normal but he was already off talking business with Jin-young and the music exec at the piano. I stood there in front of them awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
“She’s pretty,” one of the taller ones of the group said quietly to the others. “Hyung, you're wrong, she seems nice,”
I pretended I didn’t hear what he said as I examined the ends of my hair for split ends.
“It’s not that bright in here,” the shorter one of the bunch said.
I looked at him and realized I still had my sunglasses on. I must have forgotten to take them off once I got lost in all the pictures. I took them off and gave him a look for being so blunt with someone with just met.
“I’m Jokwon, I’m the leader. I was in the room yesterday. You sing well,” he said matter-of-factly to me.
I nodded and noticed he had a very diva-like attitude as he stood with his arm crossed in front of him and his chin raised. He looked like he was judging me somehow, and I hated that feeling. With my heels on, I could almost see him eye to eye and I never took my eyes off him one second. He did the same and didn’t even blink.
“Hyung, I thought you said she doesn’t know Korean?” the one who spoke earlier said quietly.
The one who was with Jokwon yesterday elbowed him in the arm and telling him to shh, “Don’t worry about Jokwon. He gets jealous when people sing better than him. I’m Seulong,”
“I do not!” Jokwon said defending himself.
The one who hadn’t spoken yet wrapped his arm around Jokwon’s shoulders to distract him, “Don’t worry, his jealousy only lasts for a couple days. I’m Changmin,”
“What did you just say, hyung?” Jokwon asked Changmin, wanting to hear the translation after getting the impression he was talking about him.
Changmin just ignored him as he stuck out his hand to shake mine. I greeted the rest of them with a smile and looked at the tall one who still looked at me with a confused look on his face. “And you are?”
His eyes widened when I spoke to him, “Uh...I’m Jinwoon. You speak Korean?”
I laughed at his reaction when he realized I had heard what he said about me earlier and looked to the ground embarrassed. He was cute in that little brother, innocent kind of way. With his height though, you wouldn’t expect it. “Minimal, but yes,”
“He’s our maknae,” Seulong said as he ruffled Jinwoon’s hair.
“Maknae?” I asked confused.
Seulong looked at Changmin and seemed to be waiting for him to translate, “Maknae. He’s the baby of the group. He’s our youngest member,”
“Oh, right. I remember that now,” I replied, nodding my head. Makes sense to why he seemed so innocent.
“How old are you?” Jinwoon asked with a big smile on his face. He was cute.
I frowned at the question. Like any other girl getting older, age was a touchy subject with me. I was always going to be either too young or too old in someone else’s eyes. For some people, they thought I was too young to be dating Jihoon. Then, some people thought I was too old to be just entering the entertainment industry now as a newcomer, when some of these idols started their training as young as 12 years old. Not that anyone’s opinions other than my own mattered, but it still made me uncomfortable.
I wrinkled my nose then sighed, “I’m 24, in American,”
“Oh, so you’re my nuna,” he said as he started to blush.
Jihoon then came up behind me and put his hand on the small of my back, “Hun, can we get you to run through this song real quick?”
I nodded my head and made my way next to the piano. I looked down at the sheet music and smiled instantly, it was a song I was familiar with and loved singing. It was ‘Slow Motion’ by Karina Parisan.
“Kwonnie-yah, how about you sing with Hanai-sshi first and see how your voices sound together?”
He unfolded his arms and stood next to me as he did what he was told. This was the first time I’ve had to ever sing with anyone and I noticed instantly how powerful Jokwon’s voice was next to mine. His voice seemed to be overpowering mine, so I started to raise mine to match with his. Before I knew it, it felt like we were competing with each other and giving our all in the song.
“Enough,” Jin-young said out loud. “Kwonnie-yah, there’s no need to show off. You still have to perform tonight, don’t strain your voice,”
Jokwon blew air in his cheeks and gave me a side stare, “You’re quite good,”
“So are you,” I replied back in the same cool tone he gave me. His diva-like attitude was quite amusing to me so it was fun to mimic him.
Jin-young made a note in his notepad and I repeated the same process with the other three of the members. I sang a different song with each member, an English one with Changmin, and then two Korean ones with Seulong and Jinwoon. Each of them had such powerful voices and by the end of the little ‘experiment’, my throat was already starting to feel scratchy.
“Okay, Hana, you can take a break before we continue our meeting. I just want to hear these guys rehearse once,” Jin-young said.
Jihoon passed me a bottle of water and sat down with me on a couch on the side of the room and we let the boys continue on with their practice. I watched as they each poured their heart and soul into the song and the room filled with strong, beautiful harmonies. I took a sip of the water as I started to feel a little out of my element. I thought I had a powerful voice, but after hearing this quartet in front of me, I was starting to doubt my abilities again.
If Jin-young wanted me to debut with a collaboration song with these four boys, I was worried that that voice would get lost and no one would even hear me. I knew that it would have been a smart marketing move, but at the same time, I had to keep career in mind. I know that when people had strong voices and sang together, it turned out well, but for my first single, I wanted someone who complemented me, not overpowered me.
Jihoon must have noticed the tense look on my face because I suddenly felt his hands on my shoulders massaging them to make me relax. “You did well,”
“Okay, so let’s head up to my office for now,” Jin-young said as he walked up to us.
I said bye to the boys and we headed up to Jin-young’s office.
“I am thoroughly impressed with your singing ability, there’s no question about it. You also have the right look, so I’m not worried about that either. My only concern is your Korean. We’ll get you a tutor to help you but from now on, I suggest you start using the language in your everyday life to get you used to it. Okay?” Jin-young said.
I was about to protest to having a tutor at my age but he didn’t even wait for an answer and continued on with his list of what to discus, “Another issue I want to bring up is the topic of your relationship. Are we making this a public issue for your debut or not? Keep in mind, there have been many articles circling the internet already for the past year,”
I looked at Jihoon. It never really occurred to me about making a public statement.
“Because of those articles, it will be smart to go public. I know it will risky, but we don’t want to start off Hana’s career with denials. It’s important for her fans as well as mine to know the truth. Also, at our age, I think it wouldn’t be inappropriate to be in a relationship. Plus, you can trust me when I tell you that I will keep her focused on her work. In the end, I think this will also help to get her name out in the public,” Jihoon answered.
I let out a deep breath. I was glad I wouldn’t have to hide anything; it made things feel that much more normal.
“I understand. I normally don’t allow my idols to date but since you are both mature and have been dating before our contract, I will allow it,”
They continued on discussing my career as I sat back and tried to listen to it all. They talked about concepts, music styles, where to draw the line between Jin-young managing me and Jihoon managing me, possible variety show appearances and the list continued on. This was a whole other side of Jihoon. Once he was focused on something work-related, he was in the zone. He wasn’t the sexy, loving man I knew, he was Jihoon the businessman. At least them discussing gave me the opportunity to listen to whatever they were saying and analyze it in my own head without being pressured to make any comments.
“So, this weekend, I will be in Macao attending the Mnet Asian Music Awards along with company artists. If you would like to experience an awards show, you are more than welcome to come along,” Jin-young said to me.
“Mnet Asian Music Awards?” I asked. It sounded familiar to me, I know I heard someone I knew talking about something like that, other than Jihoon. “Is that MAMA?”
“Yes, it’s referred to as MAMA for short,” he replied.
“Ah yes, I’ve heard of that before," I replied.
"I know Jihoon won't be able to make it, but you're more than welcome to join. You are apart of JYP Nation now and I will be there to take care of you," Jin-young explained.
I looked at Jihoon, "You should go. I'll be busy filming all weekend anyway. It'll be a good experience for you,"
"I think I would like to attend. I have a few friends who are attending as well,” I answered and suddenly felt excited at being able to see them again.
“Great, I will make arrangements for your flight today. This will also be good since you’ll be able to meet and bond with the other groups from JYPE. They will be your seniors in regards to the industry so you will have a lot to learn from them. They are all performing so you’ll get to see them on stage.
I’d like to start getting you into the rehearsal rooms by tomorrow, so you’ll be able to start training right away. Since we don't have any music prepared, we'll be training you by covering songs and such. I think that’s all I have to say, do you have any questions for me?” Jin-young asked.
I shook my head and looked at Jihoon to see if he had anything else to discuss.
“Nothing else from me. I’ll have her here for rehearsals tomorrow. Thank you, hyung,” Jinhoon said as we both got up to leave.
We left the building, walked back through the group of excited fan girls and into his car.
“So, where does my girl want to have dinner?” he asked as he started to drive away from the building.
“Surprise me,” I replied as I started to put my seatbelt on, “Anywhere with you is where I want to be,”
Suddenly, his phone rang and he answered it. I tried to figure out who was on the other line and from the discussion I could hear from his side of the conversation, it seemed to be MBLAQ's manager. Something had gone wrong in the studio so the boys couldn't record anything.
"Is that so? Well get them to start dance rehearsals so they aren't wasting time. I'll be there soon," he said into the phone and ended the call.
"Hey!" I called out as soon as I heard him say he was heading to the studio.
"Sorry. Somethings wrong with the equipment and I have to check it out. I can't let the boys delay anything with this album," he replied. He took my hand in his and kissed it, "I'm sorry, I swear it won't take long. I'm just going to take a look at the situation and then it's you and me,"
I sigh and leaned back in my seat and looked out the window. We were just visiting each other anymore, we were now living together and this was just something I'd have to start to get used to.
