Mar 29, 2016
❤
Dear @godbender,
I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes!
Love, Stella
send me ❤ on anon and i’ll compliment someone at random!
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❤
Dear @godbender,
I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes!
Love, Stella
send me ❤ on anon and i’ll compliment someone at random!
petition to convince godbender he's actually bruno mars
tiny sassy dramatic man? oh yes
Ship meme: malice
[x] Alastor Moody x Alice Longbottom (you’re a sadist and an addict, Sarah; I’m assuming this is the “canon” version)
Who’s more dominant: Alastor, but only just.
Who’s the cuddler: Alice.
Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Alice is the big spoon/jet pack.
What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Arguing over work/cases, reading books in the same room, drinking each other under the table.
Who uses all the hot water: Alice for sure.
Most trivial thing they fight over: Moody’s fondness of hiding the top-shelf liquor literally on the top shelf.
Who does most of the cleaning: Alice, but it’s better than it used to be. Things are clean, not hospital-clean.
What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: “What is a netflix?” Alice is absolutely more technologically inclined than Alastor.
Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: They own their own place. Alastor would definitely be more likely to stop-gap solution it away. Alice will get it fixed.
Who leaves their stuff around: Alice, actually. Moody learned the hard way when tiny hands started making grabs for things that grab back.
Who remembers to buy the milk: They’re both still terrible at remembering to eat.
Who remembers anniversaries: Moody? Dates? Pfffft. He’s gotten better since Kia started sending Howlers three days before any major event.
Who cooks normally: Neither. Moody is actually a better cook than Alice, and that’s saying something.
How often do they fight: They bicker constantly but that’s just part of their relationship. They have blow-out fights sporadically but things rarely stay bleak for any long period of time. He’s got a great kicked-puppy face and she’s a pro at apologizing just enough to make him feel guilty. When she cries it’s game over. Fighting is foreplay.
What do they do when they’re away from each other: She keeps herself busy, he pines/sulks/bickers with everyone around him/is generally a four year old.
Nicknames for each other: Sir/brat.
Who is more likely to pay for dinner: Alastor.
Who steals the covers at night: Alice, constantly, incessantly, forever.
What would they get each other for gifts: Anything that bites or shoots poison or scuttles about when no one is looking. Anything with sixteen locks and a stinging hex worked into it. Anything that causes blindness or sores or pox. They especially like stealing various dark artifacts to add to his ever-growing collection.
Who kissed who first: Alastor.
Who made the first move: Shit— Alice? Probably? Does flirting count as a move? She generally makes the first move.
Who remembers things: They both do.
Who started the relationship: It was kind of a mutual happenstance.
Who cusses more: I don’t even think I can answer this. I have no idea. They both belong on a pirate ship.
What would they do if the other one was hurt: Raise hell and maim anyone who stood in the way.
Who is the dirty talker: ALICE.
A head canon: Alice coined the name Mad-Eye with a little too much enthusiasm in the presence of their peers. The name stuck long after she was gone.
godot: you do have an impressive pair
godot: we can discuss your rack if you'd like
stella: is this going to devolve into "how many euphemisms can godot think up" again
godot: do you not want to talk about your mammaries
godot: your chest pillows
godot: your baby feeders
godot: your human udders
godot: your pleasure mounds
godot: your convenient shelf
godot: your lovely lady humps
that moment when you start with a ship and two years later realize you've written five entire generations of moodys