A bad host is a bad person. It really is that easy of an equation to solve. If family asks you for help, family should at least fill your belly with more than you can eat. Even if you can’t eat it all, or you’re not hungry at all, the food and drink should be there because it’s a sign from your host.
If the host doesn’t prepare a meal or call for a pizza, especially after you’ve worked for hours to help them out.... don’t go back. It doesn’t matter if they’re family or not. They’ve basically said that you’re not welcome in their home, so why would you return to help them again?
After the third time you have to stop to get a burger on the way home.... you should learn your lesson and cut your ties. I understand that it can be hard, but it’s easier in the long term because those kinds of people are just sapping your energy.
It can hurt, I know. Family shouldn’t do family like that. But that’s how the cookie crumbles! You’ve got to accept it for what it is. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t ask for help. You didn’t ask them to come to your home to work on something.
That’s on them, and as long as you allow that behavior to continue, it will continue.