Ok. It’s a broad topic and to be honest I’ve had enough experience with relationships to know that I can’t talk about it in one post. So let’s make this part 1. Relationships, in the romantic sense, are tricky, confusing and downright depressing. That is, unless you know what makes a relationship work. My first ‘relationships’ weren’t relationships. Basically I spent money on her and she pretended I didn’t exist… Sounds great, right? The problem was that I was shy. Not something that’s found attractive amongst the masses. And I was going for the masses. My first mistake. The rest were about sex… And that’s about it. But that was through my teenage years and hormones are flying around at that stage. I went from one relationship to another from the age of 16 to 21 without ever really being on my own. Another mistake. I never felt confident on my own and therefore clinged on to relationships and was petrified of losing my girlfriend at the time. I finally had the time to find myself and get over those worries after I began to cheat and had to break everything off because I knew it had gotten too far. Basically I am just saying that for a relationship to work you need to be confident on your own first. If you can’t be with someone else without worrying they might leave then a relationship is not right for you yet. Relationships need another thing I’ve not mentioned. That’s communication and co-operation. I think this is the key to most problems in relationships (although not all). If you don’t tell each other how you feel and treat each other with respect then it will fail or be miserable/one dimensional. Simple as that really. I believe a relationship needs mutual sexual attraction, romantic attraction and friendship/common views, values or hobbies, alongside co-operation and mutual respect. Sounds like a lot I guess but it’s easier to come by than you think. You’ll find most people can be sexually attractive to you and then the majority of people share the same romantic notions. The hard part is friendship and keeping the solid foundations of trust, honesty and respect together. But even those aren’t hard. If you have something on your mind then tell them. If they don’t want to listen then it won’t work until they do listen. If they listen and put forward their views then you can find an agreeable arrangement. The least amount of these you have to make, the easier it will be to make it work. But that doesn’t mean it won’t work if you don’t agree on anything. Perhaps that’s what you enjoy. The problems occur when one person keeps things from the other. I will stop now. I realise I am babbling on. Tomorrow I am thinking either The Gaming Industry or Men in Childcare. I doubt anyone is reading this but if you are then let me know which you’d prefer. Guitar-boy, signing off.
