SHE’S UNCERTAIN . DESPAIR gave them something to do , at least — some constancy in the rise and fall of earthly threats at their bastille’s towering walls . as much purposes as perseverance ; the guarantees of always & abeyance .
falling back into sequence is — what sequence , exactly ? fukawa’s patterns of normalcy before the end were in being terrified , or angry , or both — the glimmers of would - be’s that future foundation so graciously provided fall into potholes .
( she can’t vouch for ever being consistently happy ... doesn’t know how . )
this relationship is a system of checks & balances to her : or comparing her own rough sketches of comprehension against komaru’s most vivid , most detailed imaginings . strange , isn’t it ? how fukawa catches herself waiting for komaru to lead .
( komaru never was suited to leadership . ) always looking back — over her shoulder , or hands extended — waiting . for touko . to catch up , or to decide , or ... to turn around , herself . to turn her back on the thing that cut it to pieces .
but she led them here : to this place / this peace , where komaru marries the tenderness of her arms around fukawa’s shoulders with the unpermissive orientation of face forward , eyes to the horizon , always , future . a future she’s promised . authored .
and nothing fukawa has ever put her name to has fallen flat : not yet . not now . not ever . though uncertainty governs her movements through this new shared space , and she’s always stuck considering whether love really looks like light refracting on the wall ...
“ it’s not too late . ” she wrote volumes of you before she even knew you . “ — i - if you’re having ... second thoughts . i’m sure you can unmarry me somehow . ” it took years ... years too many . but fuck , if fukawa isn’t glad that it’s her , in the end .
@gunhacked , GAY ON MAIN !
