Dear Tumbler Diary #4.
This drill weekend has brought forth so much opportunity. I’m great full. That the Gods have answered my prayers. Fun fact about me! I’m not Christian. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I say it jokingly but! I’m not! I’m a worshiper of the 7 AFRICAN POWERS. And Eleggua has heard my prayers. And has been intending to my thoughts. My thoughts of these past weeks were. “ What the fuck! Am I going to do!?” You see I’m a soldier, a warrior. And no I’m not tooting my own horn. It’s modernized. but! Yes, I’m down to fight for all that jazz and glamour of being here in this country. I have no issues with her. Her being Bitch America.
For she birth me and my ways of thinking. IF you haven’t read most of. My post already. i have mommy issue. I can’t seem to trust them. They always seem to fail me one way or another. With all this being said. I actually love what I do. I love being close with people who get what it’s like. The likeness of having a purpose to do! The likeness of to help and to protect and to have purpose. I know were all complicated people qt the end of the day. Even when we think that were not. We are!
America and her 2nd son Big army has employed me to do a job of helping people. Helping direct them int he direction they need to be in, in order to get the vaccine and other covid related things. I was on Covid mission for a few months an made a very pretty penny. Since then I have now a beautiful living space and a nice car to call my own. with all of this, has come a bit of an extra serving of money. Money that America and dear Uncle Sam have accidentally given me. $3,000.00 Now! I have to put that back.. Ohh wait sorry, wrong version! There taking it back and blindsidingly so!
Two months ago. I had to go to drill and I was gone for 54 whole days. In army money that makes up a big chunk of money. Money that adds onto the next week for me. So! What they givth they Takith a way. My check at that time was very close to $900.00 and they only have me $200. When usually I get $600.00 from my other job. I hate to say it like this but! What the fuck am I going o do wit $200.00 THIS SHIT BLEW MINE. Not to mention. All of my big boy bills ar will over $500.00 so i started to delay my funds. Take from one to put to another. This Fuckery of my supposed favorite Uncle. With my housing and check and all other things pushed back by two weeks. I begun to freak out and shut down. To where I watch reruns of Grey’s anatomy and analyze the faces of the actors. “ Then questions “What did I ever see in this ep” to believe in the acting? Or! I try to sleep and cant, then I have to wake up fully just to start my day.
You see I use to be a Drifter… A male Gypsy. Floating from couch to couch. Now with a place all of my own. I felt free I felt liberated. I felt or feel like I can o anything that I want to do. I NO longer feel like I’m bound by the social rules of being polite. Of feeling like if I don’t that I’ll lose out. I don’t call it fake. i call it being in survive mode. A mode that i do not like to be in.
