"you can know things all you like, but that doesn’t mean you believe them." the war i finally won / accepting! / @knoworth
there’s something to be heard in those words that echoes deep within him, reminding him of things he doesn’t want to hear. she has always had a way with words around him. christ, she knows him better than his own dad knows him, and that speaks volumes as to how much tony is prioritized in his own father’s life. some part of him wonders what howard was like before all of this shit. in the times that peggy knew him. there are old newspapers about the guy, sure, but–– fuck, man, he hates his dad in a way he thinks he shouldn’t, some days.
“ and that’s just life, isn’t it? ” forced to grow up too quickly. it’s not a fact he’s keen of reflecting on, because it’s true. he remembers, vividly, all the times he realized how he’d never just get to be a kid. he’s never been like the others. tony, so gifted, so talented, but just not enough at the same time. “ even if i don’t believe it, it doesn’t cancel out the fact that it isn’t true. you just have to suck it up and deal with it. ” words of a slight pessimist in any case, and probably not the words she wants to hear out of him. he has struggled. he still does. to what extent, even he doesn’t know, nor does he want to unlock that type of knowledge. leave it where it is, undusted, preferably. stay in that closet. “ you’d know how that feels, wouldn’t you? ”