#ha......................................................

[megyulmi]

[タケミっち...?]

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

[jackkdaniels]

when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil

[gondorrevealparty]

baseball interviewers will ask "how do you throw the ball so good" and Mariners players will casually drop that they have a headmate who plays the game for them

[bob-artist]

Brotherhood of The Orb

[pliablehead]

'you can smoke whatever drugs you want idgaf' and 'apartment building etiquette is such that i should not be able to instantly smell your rank-ass weed stank through our shared wall' are two sentiments that can both be true

[starrynet]