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I hate when im tired, and i try to go to sleep, but my mind doesn't shut off, so i just stay awake thinking about random cute fic ideas. Like no. Brain, please, shut up. Im tired.

#this definitely didn't just happen to me #totally #hahah.#im so tired #let me sleep

With the insomniac sleep schedule I've been having I'm about to turn into one of these MFS

#im half joking #hahah.#fight club narrator #narrator fight club #patrick bateman #american pyscho #fight club movie #fight club book #taxi driver #uzi barks #i might take a break from the Internet #(biggest lie ever told)#jiraiblogging #incel #yeah. ill tag that.#at my wits end #and for why. i dont know.#dont take this too seriously

oh hy is gonna die

#Mmm.#Okay.#Let me just.#WATASHI KYU-KURARIN.#Heh.#Hahah.#Hahahahhaha.#HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Aight who wants to name her. 🥹💗

#oc art #hahah.#still figuring out colors #I suck at coloring anyways #art #digital art #🩵 beautyz art #🩵beautyz art

Did I ever tell you I've eated roadkill deer before?

...

No, you haven't.

Venison is very tasty.

#I'm sure Frank in canon can confirm Eddie tastes fine #playfellow xxx #the joke #the tag I mean #HAHAH.#so normal

#the thought behind this. is the guilt he feels for the treason not being his idea #damned if it was my idea and damned that i didnt think of it in the first place #the cutlass is allegorical. if you will #hahah.#temeraire #william laurence #blood cw #stabbing cw #<- i dont know how to tag #you know how it is with spaghetti #my art #my post #krita

it is like, sort of ridiculous how much easier nanowrimo has gotten over the years for me. i remember being in high school and just absolutely fucking gritting my teeth to get through the last few hundred words each day. extracting everything I had and discovering it was only like 30 words. having absolutely no idea what to do plot-wise. having absolutely no idea how people even thought of plots. because i just couldn’t! i couldn’t do it and i didn’t know why! I threw so many random events at those drafts because I could not conceive of any other way to build a story. and i struggled through the 50k each year somehow with like Herculean fucking effort, and don’t get me wrong I am very proud of little me, but im also mad it was so hard!

this year I can draft like 3-4 pages by hand, and type them up, and that usually gets me over 1667. if not, it’s not too hard to carry on from there. i am ahead. i have coherent ideas about what I am doing and how to get there. I have an ending and I can rotate a whole project in my head like a beautiful rotisserie chicken. this specific change is not due to years of writing experience. this is because i got properly medicated. i have actual working memory capacity now. i have the mental processing space necessary to write a coherent story, which I didn’t even know was something i was missing. the difference is boggling. i just thought i naturally struggled with big-picture stuff and that would never change. no bitch!!! i have a goddamn motherfucking neurological disorder

#like I am happy it is so much easier now #but I’m so mad I worked so hard on trying to understand plot when it never stuck because….I needed a functioning working memory #hahah.#nanowrimo

#hahah.

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