#haldiira lore

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And they could never, ever tear us apart

Yayyy I finally finished my Myrae and Haldiira piece. Am I satisfied with Haldiira's hair? No not at all.

My reference is from here. (And starts around the 13 min mark. And I've had this idea in my head since this video went live)

More thoughts below the cut

So this is specifically more from Haldiira and Myrae's past, when they both lived in Menzoberranzan. Myrae (under the name Lyra) was performing the role of a Masked Traitor, and she operates under a lot of fae rules and logic. She basically changeling replaced the real daughter of this minor noble house. The real daughter was already an outcast by Menzo's standard, and Myrae could easily perform the tasks she could. It was an easy swap. As for *why* she was there under Vhaeraun's orders, I'm still figuring it out. This being said, Myrae often doesn't wear her mask during this time, which is why she's featured without here. (Also she is NOT a changeling.)

Meanwhile, Haldiira was sent under Jarlaxle's order through Bregan D'aerthe to investigate this low ranking noble house, bc some of the higher ranked houses were feeling antsy and weird about it all of a sudden. Haldiira slipped in as a common male foot soldier and blended in with her surroundings. (Hence her shirtless attire and basic pants) But Myrae knew. Myrae could tell there was something Off about her.

So Myrae took her as a favored consort type. And they grew close.

Myrae's charm magic works better if she knows the name of the person she's trying to charm. Haldiira never gave her a name.

Haldiira knows this isn't the real Noble's daughter, but again Myrae's real name, wasn't exchanged.

They played this game until the house fell, and Myrae was "killed".

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I was tagged by both @mogruith and @starlit-serpent for the Names in Drow. (Font Ref: High Drow, Drow Angular, Drow Rounded.)

Here's Elendar's

Elendar's handwriting is rounded, he writes much to quickly and with a light hand that its soft. In the English alphabet it would be writing like print and cursive at the same time.

Haldiira's

Haldiira writes much more angular. She pressed down hard with her pen and does quick strokes.

Myrae's

Myrae has extremely round handwriting. She's doing hearts above her i's. That being said, she also loves to write in High Drow because it makes her feel like she's more important, especially when giving notes to people she believes are beneath her.

Tarlyn's

Tarlyn writes commonly more in High Drow than Angled. More because Dir'zafae forced it on him. Otherwise he writes *very* angular.

And none for Lachrymose because he doesn't know drow. (❁´◡`❁)

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Haldiira is furious at Halsin over Cirannis. She hates how she found him out on the table.

but idk if I'm strong enough to kill Halsin. I love the bear too much. 😭😭

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Has your OC ever written a love letter (or text message or whatever the case may be)? Perhaps they have even composed a love poem or song dedicated to their beloved?

It depends on the character, honestly

For instance, Haldiira hasn't felt the need for that. She's never felt strongly enough to put it into words like that. Her relationship with Myrae was more due to circumstance. And Minthara's was even worse circumstance. I think the closest Haldiira gets is writing to Minthara post game to tell her she thinks of her fondly... But mostly to tell her how Jarlaxle has gotten her into some bullshit again.

Myrae depends on who you consider their beloved. Myrae is sort of obsessed with Haldiira as the one who bested her and got away. But if you asked her who she loved the most, the answer would be Vhaeraun. She has sung songs in his honor (she is a bard after all) she has sat at his altar and prayed her love to him. He is everything to her, and he ignores her.

In the more traditional sense, Lachrymose has absolutely written a love letter, or rather notes, for Tarlyn. Like a spouse leaving a little note in their partner's lunch for work that day. But Lachrymose, once he gets over the bridge of his feelings, also doesn't have a problem expressing his love for Tarlyn.

Tarlyn on the flip side writes letters but it's more to organize his thoughts. Letters he won't send. The ones where he struggles with his feelings for Lachrymose and his inevitable betrayal of Dir'zafae and everything he ever knew. I think he one day would show this to Lachrymose. I think Lachrymose would love to read those letters, and he'd definitely comfort Tarlyn over them, even though Dir'zafae is in the past and he's free and happy with Lachrymose.

Then baby boy Elendar is as bard as a bard can get. He loves making up songs to sing to Astarion on the fly. He loves performing in taverns and pretending not to know Astarion, and including him as part of the show. Performing a love song directly to him. Flirting with him in front of an audience. Elendar isn't the type to write love letters though. Love letters feel strange to him. He's used to receiving them from desperate clients in his home village who needed some stress relief and miss the way he'd fuck them. So they always come off as more of a "what can you do for me." Demanding of his service, rather than something more deeply emotional. Combined with him learning how to be okay with displaying emotions like love. When it used to be so forbidden or as a strict use of manipulation.

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I think when they're all gathered around the camp fire, early in their companionship and trying to figure each other out, I think Lachrymose would absolutely talk down to Haldiira on accident about her Lolth worship.

Not just in a "you worship Lolth therefore you're evil" way, but just in a wildly misconcepted way of "I only know and understand the nobility of Lolth's followers." Bc Tarlyn was a Noble Daughter's favorite chew toy. (And Elendar wouldn't be much better with his former Chosen of Keptolo and being wrapped up in nobility) AND the fact that his mother was also nobility when she was forced out.

So he really has no idea what a commoner from Menzo *does*.

And Haldiira just has to sit there listening to this fool condescend her for her choice of god worship, because he thinks she's participating in extremely chaotic and needless violence to gain favor from Lolth. When in reality she's been surrounded by mostly male influence her entire life, typically sticks to herself, and understands that the nobility is fucking bananas in a "I sure do love being normal, and having a normal relationship with religion, like my fellow class members."

And no she will not be converting to Eilistraee or Vhaeraun, thank you so very kindly.

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I think before getting into the thick of things. It takes the companions, Haldiira, and Elendar time to get used to the tadpole in their head, and any changes it may have made to their bodies.

Specifically such as Astarion's immunity to the sun, ability to enter homes and cross running water. I think sometimes there's a barrier for him, or a specific dense ray of sun burns him from time to time at the beginning.

For Elendar this manifests also with sunlight immunity, but also language. He doesn't speak Common, not until he's later taught. The sunlight in particular makes him feel like he has a harsher cold, or like a stomach bug. He throws up a couple of times from prolonged exposure. Eventually this does fade, as does his knowledge of Common grows, thanks to the tadpole. It can't be living inside a body that's falling apart.

As far as Haldiira goes, I think she experiences mild discomfort. Probably like a headache that won't go away. She's lived on the surface long enough that she's more immune to the sun, but every so often she gets a little wave of nausea. She also speaks Common fairly fluently, so she is mostly fine.

I think give it a night or two and they'll be as we experienced them in the game.

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on an entirely different note,

Elendar also doesn't believe Drizzt Do'Urden is a real person.

He's heard stories of his legendary drow who lives up north and has done *a lot* for surface drow, and drow men in particular, in vague terms that have almost certainly been greatly exaggerated, that he just straight up doesn't believe Drizzt is a real person.

Unfortunately for him, his main drow connection is Haldiira, who knows without a shadow of a doubt that Drizzt is a real person... bc she works for Jarlaxle.

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Been rotating Haldiira today. And as I was talking to Red today about her (and Enclave)

I've come to the conclusion that basically Haldiira operates on monotheistic ideology despite living in a polytheistic world. She was born and raised a specific way, under a specific god, and yes she acknowledges other gods, but they are basically… Like the Saints for her. They exist. They're a part of the mythos, she knows they are Very Much Real People. But at the same time, why would you even consider them when Lolth is the mother of us all, sort of deal. (from my DMs)

And like I've talked vaguely about this in the past, but Haldiira is really Chill and Normal about Lolth. She doesn't particularly care that other people worship other gods, drow or otherwise. She thinks the level of zealotry many of the noble houses have towards Lolth is a level of stupidity that she doesn't enjoy. It's a sure-fire way to get you killed faster. She's seen it happen in real time. She has helped cause this to happen. And she simply doesn't believe falling in line to the chaos is the way to go about it. There are better ways to be chaotic and evil without destroying your own following, y'know?

But with Menzo being how it is, it already operates fairly monotheistically. Unless you run into a Secret Moondancer or Masked Traitor, there really isn't anyone else *to* worship.

And to some extent drow tend to pick a side and stay there. They don't really hop around on the different gods like humans do. And in general you get a lot about a drow by which god they do worship. So I was like what happens if someone was raised this way, disagrees with a lot of it, and is even exposed to many other walks of life (bc Haldiira for the most part lives on the surface now), but still decides "yeah the spider bitch in the sky is the god for me." (from my DM with Mog on the same subject)

She could erase this part of her life. She could move on to Vhaeraun or Eilistraee (or the others, but I'll be real, unless its Keptolo bc I think he's funny, I don't actually care too much about them. lmao) Her life in Menzo has been being nothing more than a spy and trained assassin since she was quite literally a child. She has no memories of her life in a noble household as the youngest daughter. She was never a priestess on any official capacity, and most of her roles she fills in are of that of a male soldier, because that's who is least likely to be noticed.

And yet!

She has heard the stories, heard the tales of Araushnee's fall into Lolth, and believes in the creationist idea that Lolth made them who and what they are. Lolth help them be cast away into the Underdark, because why would Corellon love them? Why would the other races accept them? When they are the way they are, and no amount of Eilistraee's bending over backwards or Vhaeraun's explosive anger will help them be seen as anything more than who or what they are.

And to be perfectly clear, she is absolutely civil with drow worshippers of other deities. She respects their choices, even if she finds them stupid. But it's what helps them sleep rest at night, so who is she to begrudge them on this.