the sun is still in the sky but it has begun to fall
something was said that led to an argument
and now we’re here in this uncomfortable place
after you said you’re taking your time to cool down.
you don’t like to yell at me but in times like this
i wish you would scream and curse and tell me what’s on your heart
but you still won’t look at me
this is the silence i have come to dread.
it comes after the yelling.
the sun had set and we haven’t spoken for a while
or i just haven’t responded.
and i crosses the line with some of the things that i said
and you know i didn’t mean them
but we also know that my tongue spits venom and that i have trouble keeping my fighting words behind my teeth.
and in times like this i think about how you don’t yell when we fight
and i wonder how you gained that sort of self control.
i sit and let the words i said eat at me until i feel the pain that i know you felt when i first said them,
and when i say i’m sorry and you forgive me right away i can still see that same pain in your eyes.
i look away from the damage i have done and i promise myself that i will never cause you to feel that way again.
this is the silence i have come to regret.
it comes at all times of the day.
in early afternoons, or right after dinner
or sometimes it comes really late at night when we’re both exhausted but aren’t ready to say goodnight.
the air around us us calm
and we are so comfortable and so content that no words are required,
and the silence is warm and soft
like a heavy blanket that blocks out the rest of the world
and keeps everyone out of our little bubble,
we are able to stay like this for hours at a time
just enjoying each other’s company and the feeling of a love so intense
that it burns in my chest like the first time i told you i love you.
and this is the silence i cherish.
- silence has its own friction.
