#half asia

[chasingbeautiful]

Koki | IG @koki.exp.edition

Half Japanese half German.

[rantgas-blog]

half asian

Okay first off to be honest, ever since a  young age I have felt embarrassed of my other side. Whenever someone asked me where I am from, I felt attacked. Whenever someone talked of the Asian side of me (I won’t say where I’m from so I don’t get busted) I felt like they were being racist. Just about one month ago, when someone asked can I tell a racist joke, and I said yes, I literally said yes, I realized what a mess I am. How can I be ashamed of something so great? How can I be ashamed of my priviledge? How can I say no, when I know what they’re about to say is going to offense me and others? I seriously hate myself for this. My mama didn’t raise me like this. She’d be angry at me. I guess I feel like I’m letting people down if I tell them not to tell the offensive racist joke etc. I know this is wrong.

During the past month, I’ve become more accepting of me but still, I struggle. I just want to feel like proud of my Asian side, but at my country that isn’t really possible. But still I am going to be proud of me, maybe not tomorrow nor next day but soon. I just want say this “aloud” since I feel it might help me, and maybe others. Please send me a message if you’re having a same kind of trouble! Let’s all embrace all the backgrounds and nationalities that we have :)