kryptonite alert: the truth within
HI HEY HELLO EVERYONE new year, new obsession? or, what about just the same old obsession but now dressed up in a cute new trenchcoat?? I'M SURE YOU CAN GUESS, that's right surprising exactly no one i have started watching another procedural cdrama! did you see that coming, ME EITHER. it's called 剥茧 The Truth Within and on the level i have only watched the first 2.25 episodes (via youku, thus sort of desultorily also on youtube), so it could still turn out to be completely terrible! let's find out together!!
meet qi sizhe, a brilliant young forensic specialist. yes that is luo yunxi and no there is neither wig glue nor 8000 meters of hanfu in sight, i almost couldn't recognize him. somehow when he's not in the qing dynasty he looks more like he's 17 instead of 37, but that's definitely him alright because the camera is fawning all over him.
have i already put a meme on his face, ofc i have since he was made in a lab for me to be a freak about. let's check off the boxes shall we:
✅ cold, remote, brilliant, lives deep within his mind palace ✅ demonstrably neurospectacular ✅ possibly slightly sociopathic, lurks around criminal areas at night in hoodies being shady as hell, what is this guy's deal ✅ Horrific Tragic Backstory not yet completely elaborated upon ✅ v. pretty in lab coats, ferocious concentrated expression ✅ Angy™ …and best of all ✅ has serious longstanding beef, reasons unknown, with this guy:
captain han feng, played by jiang qilin, here seen doing his best impression of zhao yunlan lite. but his boxes get check marks too:
☑️ scruffy. tired. very tired. too tired to shave. last slept in an actual bed during the hu jintao presidency probably ☑️ badly abused brown leather jacket ☑️ suspicious. mistrustful. narrow-eyed stare. how dare this medical examiner just…get a job. as a medical examiner. in HIS PUBLIC SAFETY BUREAU, which belongs to him, personally, ☑️ idiotic levels of brave. runs directly into buildings which other people are busily screaming and running out of. flings himself onto people energetically trying to fling themselves off rooftops. etc. ☑️ oh was there a murder? well it MUST HAVE BEEN QI SIZHE THEN, NO ONE ELSE could have done a murder but him. the medical examiner. bc that's the logical conclusion to draw here.
ALSO there is an even MORE important officer, zhu qingyue, played by liu xin (which is how i found out that they made a fifth season of chinese paladin but—without hu ge? and she was in it, sorry liu xin). unfortunately, so far, besides crisp police work with lots of "是!" the plot mostly has her tasked with being the hardworking lesbian fujo which these two yahoos apparently require. i look forward to her having more jobs assigned by the people's police than this one:
why are you doing this to her, director bai. she's going to go home and scream into a pint of ice cream because these men hate each other so much they don't even use polite titles, they call each other coldly by their WHOLE FULL ASS NAMES every time.
here they are simmering and glaring and throwing gorilla dust in each other's faces as officer zhu waits it out, possibly rethinking each of the major life choices that led her to this moment. (i am aware these gifs were made with sticky tape and rubber bands please don't @ me it's new year's eve and i'm eating macaroni with one hand and trying to keep the cat from sticking her paw in it with the other)
SO MUCH delicious hatred i can't wait to find out what caused the agonizing breakup, whether it's the "you betrayed everything shifu ever taught us" kind, the "you got my sister/girlfriend killed" variety, or even, who knows, perhaps "we were besties and then you went and [did unnameably awful thing] and now u r no longer my bro, bro."
i do not know ANY spoilers and i am keeping it that way in case this does not turn out to be awful—well that's not true, i know one (1) spoiler which is that there will be spiderses. that's not a poetic metaphor either, there's literally a little furry leggy of one, briefly, in the opening credits, and i am reliably promised arachnid-themed plot developments somewhere around episodes 3-5ish. this does not bother me because 1) as a kid i wanted to be an entomologist until i went to college and discovered drama classes, and 2) i have seen DMBJ. (but in case anyone needs timestamps, lmk and i will totally warn you ahead of time about any spiderses.)
okay it's dark o'clock in the morning on january 1 and i should not spend my one wild and precious life babbling about this when i've only seen two+ episodes of it but i have to tell you one more thing which is that the effete neurosuperior slender twinky one in the glasses is trying to make baby's first murderboard and it's adorable, it's like when your toddler takes their first step, please behold:
a witty friend whom i shall not incriminate said "imagine going to the store to get all your murderboard supplies, and then having to wait for your self-print photos to finish printing" so i already need someone to write this fic. i will update you with more effete genius consultant/grumpy hot police captain news as soon as i have any—
