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I Planned A Destination Funeral And The Guests Are So Selfish
I don't ask for much when it comes to milestone events. My dog Fluffers' Bark-Mitzvah was a tasteful $1,000 a plate at one of King Henry VIII's lesser castles. I even backed out of our space wedding plans drawn up by Elon Musk himself because my maid of honor couldn't afford his nebulous "space fees." But my husband's funeral is finally starting to get me miffed at our friends and their selfishness. Read the full article
The Best Life Insurance For Your Soon-To-Be-Dead Husband
For whatever reason, you already know your healthy fucking son-of-a-bitch husband is about to die from mysterious causes. You just know his time is coming. We're not going to ask too many questions. Maybe he knows it, too, because he's been leaving his goddamn hair in the sink again. Anyway, how do you turn your loss of a spouse into monetary gain? Life insurance! Life insurance policies are essential for every healthy, married, soon-to-be-dead man. But which policy should you choose? There are so many choices! The key is a principle I made up. I want my name on it. It's called the Michels Principle. Read the full article
We Tried These Viral Beauty Trends On Our Dead Son
Our son Daniel is dead and never coming back (and neither is our brief flirtation with the non-pasteurized dairy that killed him). We miss him dearly and our lives are empty without him. But true beauty bloggers never show any trace of emotion (unless they're issuing a public apology), so we compartmentalized our grief and tried these viral beauty trends on our dead son, Daniel. Read the full article
What Is This Bird Box Service And Can I Order 'Just The Beaks'?
Everybody on my social media is talking about this "Bird Box." I guess they haven't advertised on my favorite podcasts yet, because I've never heard of them, but I'm a huge fan of subscription box services. I'm also a huge fan of beaks. Can anyone tell me if I can order just the beaks? I don't need the whole bird. Read the full article
My New Year’s Resolution Is To Shove My Son Back Up In There
Listen, I know every mommy blogger likes to pretend her child is Jesus incarnate, but let's be real, my son wouldn't even be bible worthy. He wouldn't even be that guy in Gomorrah who shouted "look out!" He's a nobody. Not a single ode has been written to my child since he was born. Not one. My son is a big piece of shit who has brought me no pride or glory and my New Year's resolution is to shove him back up in there. Read the full article
I Deserve The Right To Breastfeed My Snakes In Public
Sometimes when I breastfeed in public, ignorant store owners or cops feel the need to stop me instead of dealing with their own weird hangups. Breastfeeding is beautiful and natural. It's a sacred bond between a mother and her young, and I should have the right to breastfeed my snakes in public whenever I want. Read the full article
Comedian Hana Michels Joins Stack And Smash Radio
Comedian Hana Michels Joins Stack And Smash Radio
This week we talk with another person from Los Angeles! Showing that we really need to just move to the west coast to do our show. Our guest is the lovely and very funny Hana Michels and as she will explain that is how you actually spell her name. Hana is a standup comedian and also has a new podcast that she does with her dad called “Free Therapy.” After this episode go and subscribe to it! We…
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