my happy thunderbolt bucky!!!!!!!!! my sweet baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my beloved husband!!!!!!!! i love this man more than anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bucky being part of the *thunderbolts, but honestly val really hasn't been giving them any missions. While the others are fairly busy making suits and well... bragging about being avenger. Bucky gets bored.
He misses Steve... he misses Sam...
At first he still works out everyday makes sure to stay in shape, for when they do get a mission (which does not appear to be any time soon).
But after a while he doesn't really see the point anymore. He stops working out unless he really has some build up anger (so about once a week and mostly his arms).
After a bit he also starts comfort eating. Eating meals he shared with steve before the war (but then better). Eating meals he shared with Steve in this century. Eating meals he ate with Sam while working on the boat. Meals Sarah would make them.
Just comfort food. Reminding him of the times he had with them.
After a while however he notices all food helps. Not just things related to his past.
Actually he really enjoys trying new foods (especially all the fast food joints. Which he is trying out with Alexi).
Until one day he notices he can't get his zipper up. At first he figures he must've washed it wrong. But when he tries on another pair he realizes this can't be the case.
He tries to get the zipper up using his metal arm, instead breaking the zipper.
But then he just shrugs. Grabs some sweatpants and orders some new pants.
He's too old to care about some extra weight now, he spent more than enough of his life being starved. He's gonna let himself enjoy this now.
So he keeps eating. And eating. And eating.
And he keeps growing. And growing. And growing.
More often than not you can find his hand resting on his soft belly.
His belly now spilling over the edge of his pants, aswell as his soft hips.
His tits perky and soft decorated with little pink stretchmarks.
There are little fat rolls forming around his middle. Where sweat pools in the summer.
His thighs have gotten thicker and are painted with beautiful stretchmarks.
His face softer than ever with a small double chin forming. Even when he's not looking down.
His dimples more visible now, especially when he smiles and laughs. (Which seems to be more often now a days)
He feels... happy and relaxed... for the first time in a while
summary: falling in love with your best friend is hard, especially if all you want is to wear his initials on a chain round your neck & kiss his face
a/n: oh my god i’m so proud of this i’m in my feels just writing it :’) pls understand the reference and appreciate it, my swiftie heart needs it !!!!! pls lmk what u guys think <3
warnings: a lil angst but honesty it’s very fluffy okay
bucky barnes was not a man of many words. he was a man made up of long looks and subtle hints, mysterious in nature. unpredictable and yet incredibly reliable.
but most importantly he was a man made up of so so much love. brimming with it, actually. bucky was made to love others.
you knew that, of course. he had shown you in every way how it felt to truly be loved.
but his love was slow, and painful, and often time consuming. the kind of love that came out in little actions, that took months, even years, to really feel it.
you'd been more than happy to be patient. to wait while bucky realized that you weren't going anywhere, that you weren't afraid of him, that he didn't need to push you away. your patience had been worth it, all beautiful things take time.
and your friendship with bucky was just that, beautiful. he trusted you more than any other person in the compound. well, other than steve of course.
though neither of you had ever said it aloud, you were his person. and he was yours. the two of you relied on each other more than you cared to admit. during missions, when his command and voice had saved you a countless number of times. but also just in your daily lives, where your comforting presence put him at ease in uncomfortable situations.
your heart was bursting with love and admiration for the man you had watched grow out of his shell into something better, someone stronger.
and how could you not fall in love with someone like james buchanan barnes?
frankly, it was inevitable.
everything he did made you fall deeper into this sinking, fantastic, terrifying, love for him. the way he said your name. the way he looked for you in a crowd. the way he understood what you were thinking before you even had to say it aloud. the way he always placed his fingers on your back as you walked. the way he adopted a stray cat off the streets and let you name it.
falling for your best friend? more likely then you might think.
and even though just the color of his eyes made you want to kiss him senseless, you couldn't do anything about it.
it would be selfish of you to act on your feelings. it would mean taking away the lifelong friendship the two of you had built.
so as you sat beside him on his bed, your head on his metal shoulder, some cliché movie you told bucky he needed to watch playing in front of you, your heart longed for the soldier sitting next to you.
bucky's hand traced little patterns on your thigh, just lines and every now and then a small circle. you were more focused on his touch than on the plot of the movie, the way bucky was.
but bucky's mind was on everything but the film. all of his attention was focused on your breathing, the way it hitched slightly whenever he let his fingers linger on your thigh for too long. the way you closed your eyes in content whenever something funny happened. he was watching you, in awe of you.
lately, bucky couldn't do anything but admire you.
as the movie played on you fiddled with your hands as a distraction, praying that your plaguing thoughts would calm down so you could enjoy this moment with bucky. but when he started drawing letters on your thigh you knew it was no use. the movie was the last thing you cared about right then.
you peaked your eyes at him, finding him already watching you. you averted your eyes to his hand on your thigh and focused on the letter. “h” you said out loud, “e,y. hey,” you combined his letters. you felt bucky nod his head and then begin again, spelling out ‘doll’ on your thigh.
you grinned up at him, feeling the air leave your lungs at the icy blue of his eyes. “hey doll,” you laughed, “hey buck.”
he smiled back at you. the way you said his name made him turn into an absolute mess. he knew he’d do anything for your if you just said his name in that pretty way of yours.
his smile had a similar effect on you. a blush spread across your cheeks and you moved your eyes back to your fingers on your lap, wishing your had a ring or something to fiddle around with.
bucky furrowed his brows at your anxious movements, “you okay honey?”
you nodded your head but the anxious butterflies in your stomach increased at his much too sweet nickname.
he lifted your head off of his shoulder, forcing you to sit cross legged facing you. you let out a small whine at the loss of contact, since he had to move his hand off of your thigh. he chuckled and grabbed your hands so you’d stop moving them around, “honey?”
you let out a sigh, if only you could tell him what was really bothering you. if only you could tell him that every single touch, word, action from him sent your body and mind into overdrive. tell him how unfair it was that he had so much control over you. “just wish i had something to mess with” you said lightly.
bucky thought on your words for a moment, visually searching his room for something he could give you. then he heard the familiar ‘clink’ of his dog tags touching around his neck. he let out a shaky breath at the idea but this was you. he let go of his hand and slipped the chain off of his neck and around yours.
you let out a small gasp as the cold metal pressed on the back of your neck. your fingers instinctively went to the tags on the chain and pressed them between your fingers. your mouth was parted in shock as you looked up at him, not understanding why he’d given you his most prized possession.
he shrugged, as if it was the most casual thing in the world, “just mess with my dog tags. it’s no big deal.”
that was it. those words send you over the edge. enough was enough. how could he say it wasn’t a big deal? when the action made your mind go wild. it was a big deal, by giving you his tags bucky was giving you yet another part of him.
a part of him you didn’t want to have as just a friend. these tags were meant to mean something. you needed them to mean something. because you wanted to mean something more to bucky.
you let out a scoff and took the chain off of your neck, aggressively placing them back in his hands.
the look on bucky’s face was a mixture of confusion and hurt and it broke your heart in two. but you couldn’t do this anymore, the what if scenarios, questioning if every one of his actions was friendly or romantic, the possibility of something more right around the corner.
you climbed off the bed and patted your wrinkled clothing down. you gave bucky a look that you hoped conveyed what you were feeling, heartbroken and angry. angry that you couldn’t have him the way you wanted to.
“what’s wrong?” bucky asked softly, moving towards the edge of the bed so his feet were placed firmly on the floor.
you shook your head and made your way towards the exit of his bedroom. it was childish, the way you were reacting. your anger wasn’t at bucky, even if you were slightly taking it out on him. it wasn’t even about his dog tags. your anger and hurt was directed towards this situation, towards yourself. you were angry at yourself for falling for the person that meant the most to you in the world.
before you could open the door though, bucky had gotten up and grabbed your wrist, effectively turning you to face him. “doll, what’s wrong?”
you let out an angry huff and poked at his chest, “it’s not a big deal? really buck? they’re your dog tags, they’re the biggest deal! how could you even say that?”
he tilted his head to the side in confusion, “you’re angry about my dog tags?”
you let out a frustrated groan and moved away from him. as you paced back and forth across the room you tried to explain yourself, “it’s not about that! it’s about everything else! it’s about us. i don’t want to not be a big deal to you. i want to wear your initial on a chain ’round my neck! because you really know me! i want those dog tags to be something we can share. but not if it doesn’t mean anything to you. not if it doesn’t mean to you what it means to me. how i feel about you is a big deal james.”
you sucked in a breath and realized you had stopped pacing. you didn’t dare look up at bucky. you knew he was watching you, could feel his stare. you hadn’t outright admitted your feelings but you might as well have. there were few ways to interpret your words.
you watched his feet step closer towards you, until you were sure that if you looked up you would meet bucky’s intense gaze. he didn’t give you much of a choice, grabbing your chin with his flesh fingers and forcing you too look at him.
his eyes were glittering with something new. some hidden feeling you’d only seen a handful of times. an emotion bucky tried to keep hidden away for a long time.
“doll” he pleaded, not adding anything else.
you shook your head and closed your eyes in an attempt to keep your embarrassed tears at bay. “just say it” you said, just say that you don’t want me like that, that i’ve lost you forever.
you kept your eyes closed as you felt him let go of your chin. you prepared yourself to hear him walking away, closing the door behind him, never to speak to you again. instead, for the second time that night, you felt cold metal on the back of your neck and an unfamiliar weight against your chest.
you opened your eyes and found bucky staring at the chain around your neck. he picked up his hand and caressed your cheek lovingly.
he took a deep breath and both of you prepared for whatever he would say next. “honey. i did one thing right, and that was trust you. it was letting you see all the parts of me, and trusting that you would still want me around. you love my love me like i’m brand new. and it’s all i’ve ever wanted. you, are all i’ve ever wanted.”
he picked up the tags hanging on the chain and rubbed them with his other hand, “this is just another part of me i want you to have. you already own my heart and every other part of me, might as well have my initial ’round your neck too.”
the blush on his cheeks made your own face heat up. you couldn’t quiet comprehend what he was saying, couldn’t accept it as a reality. this whole moment felt like a day dream.
bucky ducked his head down and placed his forehead against yours. you closed your eyes happily. all of the anger and tension from earlier, dissipating from your body, replaced by pure bliss at the feeling of bucky so close to you. the air was charged with something new, and the both of you could feel it. and you both welcomed it.
“hey bucky?” you whispered, still not opening your eyes in fear that it would break whatever spell you two were under.
“yes doll?” he whispered back and you could practically hear the smile he was more than likely wearing as he answered.
"what's this thing between us?” you asked hesitantly.
bucky moved his head away from yours, causing you to open your eyes. he grabbed the sides of your face and grinned like a fool, “call it what you want to, i just know i want you.”
later, as the two of you sat tangled together, closer than ever before, you couldn’t help but touch the dog tags around your neck. now they didn’t feel so foreign. they were familiar, the same way bucky was familiar. bucky traced little patterns on your thigh that night, similar to how he had earlier. but now you felt the distinct outline of little hearts, and you knew that nothing else mattered much when you had bucky.
