SCCWriting #24
What gets you hot?
Being told anything that makes me feel submissive or reminds me of my role. Like what I have to do, what I can’t do, what is expected of me, what I am, etc.
Spanking. Mild embarrassment. Giving CD sexual pleasure. Not being in control. Objectification or embarrassment in certain forms. Slapping. Bondage a little bit, but more so just being held down. I think those are all of the big ones.
Have you ever done orgasm control/denial play?
Yes. I’m not allowed to touch myself or cum (whether alone or with him) unless I have his permission. Both are full time rules for me. Not having the consequence-free access to my own body goes a long way as far as reminding me that I belong to him. He really likes seeing me desperate and denying me for a day (or a few) goes a long way at making me embarrassingly desperate.
Reflect on one of your hard limits
I think my most unusual hard limit is probably yelling.
A slightly raised voice is fine. So noise level is part of it, but tone is a bigger factor I guess. I love “Dom voice” or that commanding but calm tone is really hot for me. But a raised voice that sounds angry, aggressive, chaotic or just out of control can make me panic.
Even overhearing others screaming at their kids in public can just kind of ruin my mood for a few hours. It brings up childhood feelings of feeling hopeless, helpless and unsafe. I have no interest in having unsafe feelings anywhere near our kink or play. I'm not open to submitting if I feel unsafe.
It’s pretty far from CD’s nature anyway so it’s not something he wants to do either.
What do you need for aftercare?
Our normal everyday play we usually just cuddle for a few minutes and that’s fine. But when we are pushing limits I definitely have to have the cuddles and proactive attention afterwards. When pushing limits I often need verbal reassurance and affirmation that I did a good job and that he’s proud of me, etc.
