Requested by: Anonymous
Wordcount: 2313
Summary: You get two unexpected visitors to your bakery. One is welcomed, while the other - not so much.
‘Always expect the unexpected,’ is something that your father had told you while you were growing up. He always thought that perhaps you were a bit too naive, too trusting in the good in people that they could blow up a bank in front of you and you would still bring up how they once brought someone flowers. That being said, you hadn’t expected his death when a gunman robbed the bakery that he owned, and he had tried to fight back. And though you had worked in the bakery since you were a teenager, starting off as a cashier and then finally getting to the bake and going elbow deep in pastry dough like you dreamed, you hadn’t expected that he would leave the entire business to you. Now, seven years later, you were still trying to do what he had said, expect the unexpected from people, without letting your friendly nature take a hit. But who, in any state of mind, could ever anticipate Harley Quinn?
You were bringing out a new tray of goodies right before the lunchtime crowd came in. You always felt like such an adult when you were in the front of shop, unlike the back, where you felt like a child in a candy store. Between all of the sugar, the sweets, the fillings, the chocolate - you sort of were a kid in a candy store. You were putting the cinnamon and pecan rolls into their places in the display when in came a woman, who looked as if she had just come in from a night out. Despite the make up that was smudged around her eyes and the rather outlandish outfit, she had so much energy, it even perked you up. You tapped the woman behind the counter with a grin. “I’ll take this one, hun,” You said. Surely a woman who looked like this much fun couldn’t be all bad!
“What can I get for you, Miss Fashionista?” You asked with a wide smile. She looked just as excited at the nickname as she did looking at everything that was behind the glass. She shimmyed over, the colors on her outfit shining in the light, and her pigtails bouncing.
“Everythin’ that has sugah, please!” She said, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
“My kinda woman,” You said, looking over what you had left. “One of everything then - that might set you back a bit.”
“Oh, I got it covered,” She said, blowing a bubble with gum you didn’t realize that she had. Out of seeminly nowhere, she pulled out a bag that had an actual dollar symbol drawn on it with black marker. “Ya take coins?”
“We can always use the change,” You said, never saying no to a paying customer. Usually the only ones who brought in change were old ladies, and you usually only took half of it, paying for the other half of their goods instead and not letting them know that. You might just do that with a few of this lady’s items. You really liked her energy, and the way that she presented herself. She pulled off a look that you could only dream of.
There was a ring from the door as another customer walked inside. “I’ll be with you in just a moment,” You said, cheerfully, helping this woman count out the change as your other employee started to put together the order. There was a groan from the newcomer, but he didn’t say anything else.
“I think another dollar should cover it,” You said, searching through the pile of coins for another couple of quarters. You found them, and opened up the till to put the change inside when there was an interruption.
“Fuckin’ finally! Put your hands up, all three of yas. This is a robbery!”
Memories of your father getting hurt ran through your mind, initiating a panic attack that you didn’t know how to deal with. You did put your hands up, dropping a lot of the change in the process. It clattered around you, and sounded just as loud as gunshots.
Your mind ran back to that day as you started to do what the robber asked of you. Opening the till. Counting out the money. Putting it on the counter - but it was pushed away by the bubbly blonde who had come in, getting one of everything. “Put that back in ya till, this man is gettin’ nothing’.”
“Oh, I’m sure he wouldn’t be robbing a store if he didn’t need it,” You said, trying to force a smile on your face to defuse the situation. You were fighting back flashbacks of your father, and you could feel the tears and fear fill your eyes. “Would you, mister?”
“Shut up!” The man said, thrusting the barrel of the gun into your face, making you wince.
“Hey, don’t be so rude to the lady,” The woman said, nudging the robber enough for him to stumble to the side. “This here is the best bakery in Gotham. Don’t ruin this for me, I’m warnin’ ya.”
“Pick up the money,” The man said, his hand slightly shaking as he gained his footing. “You have ten seconds to hand it over or I’m shooting your brains out.”
“That’s no way to talk to a lady,” The blonde said, showing more annoyance now. “And now you’ve just pissed me off too.”
“And who are you, blondie?” The robber mocked, his attention away from you as you slowly picked up the money from the edge of the counter to slide it over. You had your eyes away from the woman for just a second, that’s all it felt like, and yet it was time enough for her to pick up one of the chairs in your establishment, and hit the man in the head with it.
“I’m Harley freakin’ Quinn,” She said with a wide smile, kicking the stunned man in the chest so he crumpled down. “And nobody robs my favorite bakery.” She then did a second kick, this one lower, getting the gun out of his hand and sending it across the bakery where it couldn’t hurt anyone anymore.
“Did he really deserve the kick to the chest?” You asked, wondering if perhaps it was a bit ... overkill. “The chair was a bit much too. It’s really good wood, see, it’s not even broken-”
“You were just gettin’ robbed and you’re worried about a chair?” Harley asked. “You some kind of Hufflepuff or something?”
“According to Pottermore, yes,” You said, leaning over the counter to look at the gunman. He still looked stunned, and was staying on the ground. It probably didn’t help that Harley had a healed boot on his chest, standing like a proud hunter. “Slytherin?”
“You betcha!” Harley said, sounding excited. She saw the way that you were looking down at the gunman and shrugged. “Don’t worry about this bozo. He’s small time. Probably didn’t have any bullets in that thing anyway. Oh shit, did we end up losing count of those coins?”
You looked down around you feet, seeing the scattered coinage that you indeed had lost count of, though you were sure she had enough for everything in the first place. “I think after what you just did, you get everything free of charge. It may take me a while to pick up all of these coins, though.”
“Keep them!” Harley said, hopping over the counter and saw the mess. “They were a bitch to carry around anyway. Oh - you sell donuts here too? I didn’t even see those.”
“Oh, yes, we have a few different kinds. I figured that they were part of your order since you got one of everything,” You said, growing distracted by the man that was on the ground. “Should we call the police, or an ambulance?”
“For this guy?” Harley asked, sticking her thumb down at him. “I wouldn’t worry about it. I’ll just drag him out to the curb on the way out,” The man retorted to this with a groan. You winced at the sound. This girl must have hit him pretty hard - but you had to admire the way that she stood up for you. She could have just stepped back and let it all happen. It’s not as if the gunman had pointed his weapon at her first.
And then you realized who the man had named. Harley Quinn. The woman who was sort of a villain, sure, but you heard that she had a good heart. Helping women in need, even if that meant beating up some blokes with a bat. You weren’t sure about the violence part, like in this situation, but you couldn’t argue with results.
“Well thank you, Miss Harley Quinn,” You said, fetching the food that she had ordered, and definitely deserved. It took five bags to fit everything, and you meant the ones that were meant for carrying out cakes carriers. You even had to call your startled assistant out to help you fit everything in.
“Thanks y/n!” Harley said, clapping her hands together and reached out for the goods. She somehow managed to hold all of the bags, though some looked like they were on the cusp of slipping through. She looked like she had experience holding a whole bunch of bags. You couldn’t even imagine her shopping sprees. The thought made you smile, and you bent down to start picking up coins but then realized something. You shot back up, and called out to her before she could make it to the door. “Hey!”
“Ya?” She asked, turning around to you, lowering her sunglasses to show colorful eyelids. You were struck by the prettiness of her blue eyes in that moment, and tried to get enough saliva back in your mouth to speak.
“How did you know my name?” You asked, cocking your head. You didn’t remember introducing yourself.
“It’s on your shirt, silly,” She said, giggling. You looked down to the shirt that you were wearing, which had the name of the bakery on the back, and your name stitched in red on the front. “That gun musta really scared ya if ya forgot so fast.”
“My father was killed in a robbery, here in the bakery,” You found yourself saying without fully knowing why. Her look softened at that. She dropped her bags of goodies in the doorway, turned the open sign on it to closed, then returned to you.
“Ya know, I used ta be a Doctor,” She started. “I got a PhD and everything. So I think I know how to help you combat ya fears. Come over here.” She beckoned you to the other side of the counter, and you did so with confusion. She had thrown you off guard many times since she walked in a short time ago.
You had entirely forgotten about the man on the floor. By the looks of him, he had forgotten himself. He was curled up in a ball, still hurting from when Harley had hurt him. You really did want to call him an ambulance at least. “I still think we should call-”
“Don’t have pity for him, he deserved what he got!” Harley said, making a face down at him. “Give him a kick or two, it’s real cathartic.”
“I don’t think I can,” You said, crouching down low and put your hand on his shoulder. “Maybe he’s just a poor man, trying to feed his family. I can’t blame him for that too terribly.”
“Well, aren’t you just a tenda’ heart,” Harley said, crouching alongside you. “As a Doctah, I’m telling ya, this is the best way-”
“The Slytherin way, maybe. I’m a full-blown Hufflepuff, I’m afraid.”
“Were you about to apologize?” Harley asked. You nodded, admitting it, which made the blonde woman laugh, falling over, hands on stomach, full on laughing. “I think ya need a lil bit of a snake around here to make sure that you don’t give away every dolla.”
“If I can ever afford a bouncer for a bakery, I’ll take that into consideration,” You said. The man beneath you groaned again. You helped him to his feet and sat him down on a chair. “Until then, I think I’ll do things my way. Thank you though - you probably did save my life.”
“Yea, I did, didn’t I?” Harley said, brushing off the fact that you weren’t doing what she asked you to do with a surprising amount of nonchalance. “I’ll be seein’ ya tomorrow, y/n. I’m getting outta here if you’re bringing in the pigs.”
“Tomorrow?” You questioned, watching as she left. She picked up her bags, which you still find amazing that she was able to carry.
“Well ya, I gotta get my suga’ fix. Helps that the baker is as sweet as her creations,” She winked before walking out the door, the bell on it jangling behind her.
You didn’t have much time to dwell on that until later, since you had to call an ambulance, and come up with a story as to what happened. You didn’t want to get Harley into trouble, not any more trouble than she was already in anyway. And you wanted her to come back to the bakery and not have to worry about being surrounded by police. Or even the Batman, who you heard was after her.
Before you turned in for the night, you laid in bed and thought to yourself, ‘Maybe snakes and badgers can mesh together after all.’’
Channeling my inner harley quinn! 💋😘 come see us today, bound and determined to make it an epic one! Psycho Clown Tattoo 1307 nw 28th street Fort Worth, Tx 76164 #kisses #harleyq #harleyquinn #blackheart #pct #psychoclowntattoo #blueeyes #blueandred #comeseeus #theoneandonlyember #getsome #embereverydamnday #tattoos #tattooedchicks #chickswhotattoo #nofilter
Imagine you and Harley stopping mid-battle to cheer each other on.
“Hey suga!” You heard Harley’s voice call out from across what was becoming a very intense battlefield. Bad guys versus worse guys, it was an interesting mash up. Eh - you were sick of all the monologuing and self-rightiousness of the good guys anyway. You looked towards her just in time to see her hit a man in the knees with her bat, knocking him to the ground. She gave you her biggest smile. “You’re doin’ real good over there!”
“You’re doing amazing! I could hear his kneecaps break from here!” You waved, then got back to your own small battle against a guy who had a machete. “Jeez, that’s the most boring kinda sword there is!” You told him. He swung at you and you bent back to avoid it. It just managed to cut the split ends of your hair off.
“I woulda cut your hair if you said you needed it, you don’t need to get a stranga!” Harley called over. You took a couple steps in her direction, away from the bad guy, so you could hear her better.
“Aww, does that mean we should have a spa day when this is over? Killer Croc can join us in the jacuzzi!” You giggled. You ducked and turned left away from another sharp blade, and used the momentum to kick the guy in the nuts hard, bringing him down.
