#18 Charlotte’s Letters - Chapter 2 (Harry Styles)
The first smell you’ll always catch when you’re on the 30th floor is of Alcohol. It’s high enough to make you fell nauseous if, you aren’t used to it. A thin layer of smoke is there in the air with a stale smell of cigarettes and other things which make it worse.
So, this naturally became the place for parties. It was owned by parents who were never there, with a kid who took maximum benefit it. The lift was better, but we had to step out.
“Heeeyyyyyy” Max slurred and gave us a hug. He couldn’t even stand straight on his legs. The party was in full swing, and we following the ‘Important people come late’ theory was well, late. Not that there was much to miss, we had these almost every weekend, and it was always typical. There was a dance corner, a sex corner, a strict make out corner, a group playing games, smokers and drug addicts and the bar. Very universal, to be honest.
Sara went dancing with some dude, and I sat on the couch. The party spirit was a bit down, and it was just too dark in here. “Hey miss party-will-rock-cause-i’m-coming, what are you doing on the couch?” Josh wrapped his hands around my shoulder from behind.
“That was so bad, and I’m not in the mood…” I replied standing up and walking to the bar. I poured in some vodka and added tonic water. I felt him come up behind me as I took a sip. “What?” I asked annoyed as he blocked me with his hands.
“I still think about us you know..” He whispered in my ear. “so much, we were so amazing together..” He kissed my shoulder and then sucked on it. I shrugged and tried to remove him from me.
“Okay, honestly, no, I don’t think about us. Yes, we were amazing and no, you’re not allowed to do that anymore. It’s awkward telling you this, but there is lipstick on your neck, and you reek of sex, so get your hands off me…” I leaped away from his arms and walked off. He took a minute, but he followed. He had to, it was typically Josh. “And you know, I was considering the whole 'friends’ deal but gosh you’ve got to get over us!” I walked out of the apartment and pressed for the lift.
“Hey wait!” he took my hands in his. “I know, what I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have cheated, and I don’t deserve a second chance, but I love you, Aubrey, I can’t be with anyone else, I need you…” He pleaded, and I was falling for it.
Well, at least till the lift opened.
“Josh baby, ready for round two…!” Jennifer screamed and jumped into his arms, kissing him. It was like she was eating his face.
“Talk when you’re free then!” I laughed. It didn’t hurt anymore, at least not that much.
I sat on the kitchen slab and searched for updates on the blog of the writer of Charlotte’s Letters. He didn’t control it, but his assistant did. She put up news about him and timely, some of his work. I was hoping that he would soon publish another book but, there was nothing on it. I wanted to meet him, talk to him, tell him how much this book helped me. Also, I wanted a picture of him in my head; it would just help.
“What is with you and chairs? Why can’t you use any!” Mum came in, all ready for a new day in her office.
“Good morning to you too..” I laughed, kissing her cheek.
“Enjoyed yesterday?” She asked, sipping her coffee.
“Not really…I’ve something to tell you..” I said opening the site of the workshop and placing it in front of her.
“What about it? I know you want to get in Aubrey but, I told you the selection is only merit based. Money, contacts, nothing, will get you in, and they get thousands of applicants every year love, it’s so difficult to get in…"She said, passing me a bowl of cereals.
"Well, that’s no worries cause I got in…” I said pouring some milk on my chocolate stars, remarkably calm. She got shocked as well, and I told her the entire deal.
“Oh my god! I’m so proud of you! This is like your first real achievement! Oh! This needs celebration!” She had tears in her eyes. “When does this start?”
“In two months, I know I’ll miss graduation, but it’s so worth it!” I exclaimed, and I saw a glimpse of sadness on her face.
“Well, we’ll discuss it, I’ll tell my assistant to look into everything, oh and we need to make lists!” She said, collecting all of her stuff. “I should call your dad; he’ll be so proud of you…”
“Is it okay, if we don’t tell him?” I asked. “We don’t tell him in times of trouble so why now…” She nodded, she understood as usual.
I no time my entire school knew that I got selected. I got a lot of best of lucks and don’t be naughty in London wishes. Josh didn’t come up and talked to me again, and I was a bit disappointed. He was one of my closest friends.
On the other hand, Sara was thrilled, she got into Yale. I was still waiting for my acceptance letter from the University of Oxford, but I got into NYU, which for my family, was another reason to party.
Sara was excited just to shop for me. Mom had contacted the organizers and found out about the security, living conditions, food and what not. I had a couple of emails, with lists and lots of lists. Then, there was my mom with her lists, leaving no stone unturned.
I took regular classes with Mr. Phil to keep improving and prepare for the workshop, and my finals went well. Everyone around me was so excited. Mom was a bit jumpy, but I was moving to another continent, so her behavior was understood.
And I…I was a bit of everything. I was shocked, nervous, jumpy, sad, happy, excited, thrilled, amazed and time, it just flew by. It was like in a blink, it was my last week here, and I was not ready yet.
I had my bags packed and ready by the door. My room was almost empty, with just the book racks filled with my collection. I was carrying my favorites with me. For the next few months, I probably won’t be back in this room, and this feeling gave me the chills. I’d never been away for this long. So, on my last day here, I woke up at 4 am and walked out of the house. I didn’t plan to do anything or go anywhere like I usually did; I just kept walking.The place where I live was beautiful, it was green and clean, literally and today, the weather was fantastic too, the wind was blowing my hair in all the directions, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.
My colony was located near an old fort, and I wanted to see the sunrise. So, I climbed all the way up and waited for it. I remember, after the divorce, my mother used to bring me up here, and we just used to sit. People who haven’t seen the sunrise are missing some beautiful moments in their life. The orange sun rose as brilliantly as it could; confident and fearless. I wanted to be like that; I wanted to be fearless for my new life.
I saw school buses drive by, from the top of the fort. Buses weren’t all that bad for me; I had always been the one who liked to sit by the window and listen to music, preferred walking alone. I didn’t mind being alone; I enjoyed it. It was needed, at times.
I walked to the nearby park; the swing there used to be my sole companion through the drama of high school. I sat on it, taking it all in. I didn’t want to be here for long, nor it won’t take much to start crying.
“Thought I’ll find you here…” I almost fell from the swing when I heard the voice. I saw Josh standing behind me. It looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. “So, you’re leaving tomorrow?” He asked, sitting on the next swing. I nodded. “And, you probably won’t be coming back” I was going to interrupt, but he spoke, “you’ll get into Oxford, they’re smart enough to keep you..” I smiled at that.
“Why haven’t you slept?” I asked.
“You know me, having too much sex” He joked, at least, I hoped so.
“Don’t stop me okay…” He said as he got up from the swing and sat down in front on me. He took a flick and placed it behind my ear. “Have I told you, you look hotter with your glasses on..” He smiled. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me. It was a simple Josh kiss, I was used to this, it felt like a habit. He rested his forehead against mine, “I lost the most important part of my life for a couple of hours, and I’m so sorry, sorry that I hurt you and I wanted to tell you that I’ll always love you and that you’ll always be my best friend and my first love…” He kissed my forehead and got up. He turned around and walked away. But, he turned around once at the exit and looked at me. I smiled. I guess, it was enough…I felt lighter somehow.
Around noon, I came back home. Mum was cooking my favorite dish, and Sara was stuffing things into my luggage. We discussed how different London was going to be and how I should keep safe and not go anywhere alone. I had a flight at 1 in the morning, so we had a get together till then since a few friends had come over.
Time moves to fast when you want it a bit slower I guess. I entered my room one last time and took a deep breath. “Can I come in?” My mom knocked on the door.
“You haven’t asked before..” I laughed.
“This is for emergencies, keep it safe, your account will be activated by tomorrow evening I guess..” She gave me an envelope with some cash. “I checked into everything, you’ll be all right, the place is beautiful, and if you need anything, I’m here..” she stopped when I hugged her.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine…” I knew, she was on the verge of crying.
“The house is going to be so empty without you…” Her voice trembled. “I know, you’ve missed a father figure in your life and you might blame me for your father leaving..”
“I don’t blame you for Dad leaving..” I said. “He left us both..”
“I don’t want you to be in the pressure of excelling out there, just give your best and take risks and know that I’m so proud of you…” She smiled with tears in her eyes. “We are late, let’s go!” Sara screamed. We laughed and walked out closing the door behind me.
The ride to the airport was full of laughter. Sara kept cracking jokes, and I knew she did this when she was upset but everyone was faking right now, so I didn’t say anything.
“Keep me updated about everything!” Sara copied a British accent. “The bitches, the lads, the challenges and all of the other shit!” She hugged me tight!
“I love you so much!” I whispered in her ear.
“I love you too, present in your bag, check it later!” She smiled.
More hugs took place and another dose of lectures about the same stuff. Something was missing, I was still waiting for one last hug, but I guess, I had false hopes. I gave my passport to the guard for identity, to enter the airport and gave one last look around.
“Wait!” I heard a shout. Josh came running towards me, pushing the crowd and slammed into me! “I thought I was late!” He hugged me tight.
“Almost! I was waiting for you; now it’ll all be fine..” I hugged him for the last time.
“This is for you, a parting gift, write to me and kick ass okay!” He said kissing my forehead. I felt perfect now, ready to leave. I waved one last time and walked forward.
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