I do have this headcanon of like. Haruna gets drafted to the NPB right after graduating high school. Mihashi flunks out of college, after getting in on a baseball recommendation, his coach uses his connections to get him in with the Japanese minor leagues, and he works his way through there into the NPB. So even though they’re only one year apart in age, Haruna is very much mihashi’s senior in the NPB, and Haruna kind of takes Mihashi under his wings in terms of like. Dealing with managers and coaches. Actually reading his contract. Standing up for himself and making sure he’s getting enough support and rest. Coping with the press. Like as pitchers they couldn’t be more different (haruna’s a power pitcher who also excels at batting and is one of the most famous in the league. Mihashi is a breaking ball specialist who pretty much just pitches and is more appreciated by his fellow players than the fans). And they’re not on the same team. But haruna views himself as a protector for Mihashi, and taking on an elder brother type of role, which definitely does wonders for his ego lmao
This Christmas I ended up writing a small drabble for my wonderful giftee Carxby. I’m a huge HaruMiha fan so I was so excited to get this prompt!
I hope you like this short little drabble!
Fandom: Ōkiku Furikabutte
Pairing: Haruna/Mihashi, Abe/Mihashi (one sided)
Rating: PG
Haruna doesn’t understand it- the tightness in his chest when he sees the two of them together. It takes time, something that he finds more of as he lies awake long after everyone else is sleeping. He stares up at his ceiling, blinking away racing thoughts and stirring feelings that are like a hurricane in his throat. A storm of words wants to get out, cold and harsh, threatening to flood all who stand in the splash zone. His body is aching from practice, his brain tired from a long day of lessons. Still somehow sleep can not find him. It goes on for weeks until self awareness slams into him like a truck.
Jealousy.
He remembers the casual way Takaya touches his new pitcher. It stirs something ugly inside of him. It’s casual, it’s friendly, it’s expected. After all, a battery is better when the two people are close. Not like how he and Takaya were, more like how he is with his new pitcher. The tall, gangly teen whose limbs look too long and awkward for his body. He looks at Takaya like he’s the moon and when Takaya looks at Mihashi, well it's like he sees stars.
The sheer awe in those huge hazel eyes is so clear that it’s sickening. Mihashi likes Takaya, more than just a pitcher and more than just a friend. No matter what Haruna tries to do to silence the little voice in his head, he can’t stop it from screaming in outrage.
Well who could blame him for being possessive over the catcher he created?
The next time he sees the blonde turn red under Takaya’s attention he knows to expect the rush of anger and jealousy. Being prepared helps and makes things easier. Well at least for a short while. Nishiura isn’t a team they run into often. They're more like passing ships really. Their games are far apart but not so much so that he has free time to go see them play.
The next time he runs into Takaya there’s a girl across from him. They’re holding hands with their fingers laced together. Haruna waits for the familiar barrage of emotions. The hard punch to the gut which is envy, quickly followed by her twin, wrath.
Nothing happens.
He stares after their figures long after they’ve walked past him. Neither of the two spotting him from his position on the corner walk way. Takaya looks different, older, more mature. It’s only natural for him to find a girlfriend. For him to start a relationship. A feeling of unease swirls in his stomach and he thinks of strawberry blonde curls and an open honest smile.
No longer able to hear their footsteps he heads in the opposite direction.
He isn’t looking for anything in particular. The air is crisp and clean and the sound of people enjoying the winter air is a perfect ambience for a day like this. The perfect backdrop for a date too. He wonders if the catcher is on his first one, or if this is one of many. He flexes his fingers in his pocket remembering the way Takaya had his hands locked with the girls. He himself has held hands before of course- but most girls complained. The roughness was attractive in theory but never later on actual dates. Did the catchers mitt keep Takaya hands soft and more pleasant?
He’s broken out of his thoughts by the sound of warbling in the distance. It’s demanding and loud enough to pull him out of his head and into the moment. Ahead he spots some poor guy being bullied by the ducks at the pond. The small little birds are quacking and chasing the guy until he’s scared enough to drop the bag of crumbs. He’s speeding up before he can help himself. The person falls to the ground and the ducks, distracted by their new bounty, do not pursue.
He doesn’t recognize him until they are mere feet away.
Mihashi’s face is blotchy and red from unshed tears. His form trembles, probably from the scare the mother duck gave him. Haruna’s heart races. There’s a rush of- something that he can’t pin down. He should hang back and think, give himself a moment to understand the way his stomach is twisting into knots. He knows that he needs to. But his feet don’t seem to get the memo. He’s walking over to him before he can think better of it.
When Mihashi finally notices him he turns and those breathtaking hazel green eyes are looking at him. Haruna’s heart leaps in his throat. His mouth goes dry with the amount of moisture heading to his palms. He’s stupidly speechless as he looks at the other pitcher in his winter clothes. The brown coat fits well with a belt that wraps tightly around the waist. His scarf looks soft to the touch much like the windswept locks that are sticking up every which way, his ear muffs do little to flatten them down.
He swallows but the lump in his throat doesn’t go away.
“ Ha-Haruna? “
He feels fixed into place. The sheer clearness of Mihashi’s gaze, even from a distance, is too much. He stands awkwardly, the sound of the ducks quacking gleefully at the other pitchers back is the only thing filling the silence. Haruna opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He has nothing to say but turns out the younger boy does.
“ Did- Did you run into Takaya? “
It’s a loaded question. At the mention of the catchers first name something ugly curls inside of him. He doesn’t know when the two got so close. Never before has he heard them be so casual with each other. He’s familiar enough with the jealousy to look outside of it and take in the pitchers expression and body language again. Suddenly Haruna has the feeling that the other’s tear damp eyes have nothing to do with the ducks at all. He doesn’t answer, at least not immediately.
Mihashi doesn’t move to get up from the ground. He just waits and stares. Haruna finds it unnerving how much those eyes seem to search.
Finally, reluctantly he shrugs. There’s no point in lying.
“ Yea- I saw him. He looked busy though so I didn’t bother him. “
Mihashi doesn’t say anything, just looks away down at the ground. His figure seems to shrink on itself more than usual. The broken silhouette makes Haruna’s chest tighten.
“ Where did you get the feed from?“
He doesn’t know where the thought comes from. He just can’t bear to see the other pitcher so defeated for another moment. It works, slightly- just enough to straighten his back and get his attention. Haruna averts his eyes suddenly feeling shy; Not that Mihashi notices of course.
“ From the booth over there. “ He points a little too quickly and some of the few ducks picking about are quick to flap on the defensive. Haruna pushes forward to close the distance between them. He gets a firm grip on the pitcher’s jacket and hauls him up and away from the birds. They get closer and the tightness in his stomach bursts into flutters.
He feels nauseous and sick at the same time. He stares into gorgeous hazel eyes. Then quickly becomes stressed when he realizes he’s used the word gorgeous to acknowledge them.
He suddenly takes notice of how cute the freckles that dust the pitchers nose and cheeks are. The way his in awe gapping expression leaves his pink lips parted and every time he blinks long eyelashes touch his cheeks and then his eyebrows.
It’s a long time coming for him to realize that what he’s feeling is attraction. Not hot and possessive like he’s felt before, but softer, innocent and curious in many ways that he’s uncomfortable with.
For some unknown reason- he likes this guy.
Mihashi doesn’t say anything but a pink blush spreads on his face. He’s become more flustered by the moment, and Haruna in his new found awkwardness lets him go startled. They break eye contact quickly. Haruna tongue tied by his epiphany.
“ So- Sorry “
Haruna has no clue why Mihashi is apologizing. If anything he should be the one to do so. That is if suddenly having feelings for a rival pitcher warrants an apology. He tries to play the entire thing off, which is difficult with the way Mihashi keeps sneaking these timid little glances his way.
“S’cool. “
Before he can beat himself for his stupid answer Mihashi cuts him off.
“ Do you want a bag of crumbs? “
Not really but he also isn’t quite ready to leave. He needs to talk to Mihashi a little bit more. It’s a rare opportunity and might be his only chance to decipher the quivering mess his emotions are becoming.
“ Yea. Yea I do. “
The smile he gets from Mihashi makes his embarrassment more than worth it. Confidently, the pitcher leads him over to the booth where he willingly pays for two bags of feed. This time, when the two of them head back to the group of ducks no shenanigans take place.
The birds seem to know better than to try to bully him like they did to Mihashi.
Haruna snorts when the shorter pitcher hides behind him as the ducks draw closer. It takes time, several awkward attempts but soon Mihashi’s fear is swept away for active participation. He’s bold enough to stand shoulder to shoulder as he drops handfuls of feed for the ducks. All while making happy little laughs whenever they go for the food.
They bump shoulders.
It’s a lot, more than he’s ready for. Complaints die on his lips though as he sees the other boy smile.
He asks, despite a large part of him telling him not too.
“ Are you happy for him? “
He thinks he whispers it but the pitchers eyes snap to his immediately. Haruna’s breath hitches and his pulse races in his ears. A conflicted barrage passes over Mihashi’s face. His eyes darting about as they search for an answer.
Haruna doesn’t want to hear it. He wishes he could take back the words. Why didn’t he heed his own intuition for once? His new, fragile affection is too vulnerable for the answer.
Loudly his ego roars in his ears. It would be better to know now then to be left wondering. To be left wanting someone who clearly likes someone else.
As both his intuition and ego war, Haruna gets his answer despite his unpreparedness.
“ If Takaya is happy, I’m happy. “
It’s a messy answer but he can read between the lines enough to understand what he’s saying. However Haruna himself has always been a selfish person. He doesn’t know if he would have it within himself to be happy if Mihashi and Takaya got together. He rolls his shoulders back as a shiver goes down his spine.
It’s the first time he’s acknowledged these new feelings for what they are. The long developing signs of a crush. He pays a compliment before he can stop himself.
“ You’re a strong person. “
The pitcher's attention snaps to him so quickly he’s almost afraid Mihashi has hurt something.
“ Me?”
The wonder in those hazel eyes is strong enough that Haruna feels like he’s burning. He’s pretty sure he’s red to his ears. Hopefully the other boy thinks it’s because of the weather and not because of anything else.
He doesn’t follow up and just tosses more crumbs at the ducks. This time far enough that they race to the edge of the pond. They trip over each other and it’s a welcome distraction.
The silence between them kind of puts Haruna on edge.
“ You’re a nice person Haruna. “
It’s not the first time he’s heard the pitcher say it. In fact he’s pretty sure compliments have always freely come from Mihahsi. This time however it sends a very real hum of happiness thrums through him. Probably because this isn’t a compliment from Nishiura’s pitcher- but from the guy he likes.
His heart skips a beat at the thought.
“ You’re a pretty good person too Mihashi. “
He’s riding so high on the compliment he almost misses the murmur that falls from Mihashi’s lips. He turns to look at him and finds his eyes to the ground. He’s so shy and cute Haruna wishes he could touch him. Instead he distracts himself with the crumbs.
“ What? “
Mihashi squirms under the attention.
“ R-Ren you can call me Ren. “
It shouldn't make him so happy. It shouldn’t make his heart soar. But it does and he’s so full that he might just say or do something embarrassing. He looks anywhere else but at this completely adorably awkward boy at his side.
“ You can call me Motoki then. “
The protest that comes from the pitcher is equal parts cute and frustrating. Despite his resistance so far he can’t help grabbing him to stop the barrage of excuses.
“ Miha- “ He has to stop to correct himself. “ I want you to Ren. “
Haruna is sure he’s going to remember the pretty color the other boy turns for the rest of his life. He doesn’t understand the noises he makes, nor his expression but when he gets the little nod. It feels like a win.
He doesn’t realize he’s holding Mihashi’s hand until the younger boy looks down at their fingers. This time Haruna’s the one to blush. He immediately lets go and takes several steps back. Mihashi does a little half laugh that he quickly hides behind his crumb covered fingers.
It feels like… something. He can’t quite pin it down but the warmth in his chest spread through him and the cold winter day is a little less chilly. He can’t bring himself to look at Mihashi- no. Ren, he can’t bring himself to look at Ren. Mostly because he’s just so full of warmth he thinks it might spill out. It isn’t something he’s ready for or the other pitcher he’s sure. After all Ren for all of his kindness needs time to process his own feelings about Takaya. It’s something he himself can understand.
They stay at the pond long after their brown bags are empty and the ducks have swum off. They throw away their trash and make their separate ways all while Haruna avoids eye contact. He doesn’t get Ren’s phone number but he’s sure- later at a better time he will.
He walks home alone and a hundred moments flicker through his head. Things he could have done, things he should have done and more than anything things that happened. He’s through his door when he realizes the familiar jealously hadn’t been directed at Mihashi but in fact at Takaya.
He chuckles to himself and slides his gloves off. When his eyes catch the familiar groves and texture of his callouses he pauses. Ren’s hands are probably the same- if not rougher than his. A small shy smile plays across his lips. In fact, A fellow pitcher would probably think his hand feels pretty good.
Summary: Maybe in a another life, they could be happy.
A/N: For the prompt “reincarnation”! I haven't written in literally over half a year so I'm honest to god surprised I managed to spew out this mess for rareship week LMAO
Read on AO3!
Mihashi hated cemeteries. That was a fact.
They’re deceivingly beautiful, or at least the one he visits has always been. Lush green grass and trees scattered around on a gently sloping hill, a perfect illusion of happiness and peace. If he didn’t know any better, he might have thought it a paradise on earth, an eighth wonder of the world.
They were good from afar, but far from good, and Mihashi unfortunately had become very well acquainted with them over the last several months…
The flowers in his hands were handled delicately, as if being gifted to a lover, and in a way, that wouldn’t exactly be wrong. They would be, but perhaps not in the traditional fashion. Instead they would be delicately placed in front of a grey grave marker, respects paid and tears shed.
Mihashi found that the latter came easy, his thoughts wandering during the quiet walk down the path until tears began to pool in his eyes from regrets and heartache. He was still struggling to come to terms with the death of the love of his life, even half a year later.
His friends tried their best to support him, there with him every step of the way. They tried to comfort him and tell him it wasn’t his fault, and yet he couldn’t help it, couldn’t help lingering on the ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s. Maybe if he had taken a little longer to find the keys it wouldn’t have happened. What if the cab had arrived a little later, would Haruna have missed his flight and been spared his untimely death? What if they had booked his ticket for a different airline? What if he had tagged along with Haruna for the trip and died with him, surely that would have been better than crying himself to sleep at night and making the miserable trip to the cemetery over and over again.
They should have been kissing each other goodbye every morning as he left for work and Haruna for school, coming back home at night to cuddle together with a movie. They would have been talking about the life they want to build together once Haruna graduated, about his potential baseball career as a pitcher. Messing around and bickering over their favorite teams as they watched the game that had aired earlier that day.
The flight should have been a good thing, what they had thought to be a blessing from above. The chances of Haruna having been contacted by an American scout seemed like one in a million, an absolute miracle that he was offered to try out to play in Los Angeles for when he graduated in a few months. They had stayed up celebrating that night, drinking until they ended up passed out in bed together with their clothes strewn across the room.
The next few weeks had been a flurry of excitement and stress as they prepared but… Mihashi would take it all back if he could. He’d rather have his boyfriend alive and at his side, even if it meant cutting off the best opportunity of his baseball career.
His heart ached as the flowers touched down upon the stone and his fingers traced over the engraved name, hitting home harder and harder with each character of ‘Haruna Motoki’ that he was never coming back. Haruna was never coming back, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Mihashi sniffled and hurriedly attempted to scrub the tears from his face; he didn’t want Haruna to see him as such a mess… quickly moving through his usual process of cleaning up and making the grave look nice before settling in to give his prayers and thoughts before leaving. The rhythm and familiarness of the routine helped, and he managed to calm himself down to a few sniffles so he could focus well on his prayers.
It was quiet as he did so, no one else really there, and for that he was thankful. He had something specific he wanted to say today, and though it was brief it was important.
He wanted to–no, needed to pray for their love. It was a heavy, tight feeling of desperation strangling him and wouldn’t leave unless he begged for it. For a better next life, a life where they could be happy together. No worries on whether they could be together, or if they were good enough for each other. Haruna would be alive, they’d be laughing, and nothing would be able to stop them from being happy together.
Maybe they’d meet as kids, playing baseball together. Maybe they’d meet in college when one of them bumped into the other. They could even meet on one of the online baseball forums Mihashi frequented, it wouldn’t even matter. All that mattered in their lives together is that they were happy, and this life wasn’t.
And so, he begged. Begged for another life together. Begged until he couldn’t beg any longer.
