#hateblog max

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

ah yes nothing says safety and security to cagey claustrophobic bird children like a fucking underground tunnel where flight is a near impossibility

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

preeeeetty sure that's not how brains work, kids

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

right right because if you create a bird child to Save The World, locking her up like an animal for her childhood and hunting her down in her adolescence is the Best Way To Handle Things

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

ah yes complete lack of irony with both the bird children consuming eggs for breakfast and with the so far Highly Maternal fourteen-year-old commenting on her lack of fembot nature and the "blind guy" cooking breakfast. i have a sudden new suspicion that max is, in fact, an asshole. i will keep you posted.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

also can we Reality Check the Small Bird Children engaging in physical combat with Large Shapeshift Werewolf Men???

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

okay okay i ate i carbloaded i had six strawberries i have my wine and my feather glass and water i am comfortable let the hateblogging commence!!

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

yooooo who’s up for a saturday late night hateblogging session of max ride?? besides meeeee!! if you’re not interested, and you don’t wanna see, you can blacklist “#hateblog max”. also possibly there will be alcohol involved on my end, so i make no claim to grammatical correctness or good spelling. as soon as i eat something, we’ll get this show on the road!!

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

so last night right before i turned my light out i was once again bit by the Rage Bug but i was trying not to do the Phone immediately before sleeping so i slept on it but seriously: at first it was just a couple erasers tracking them down in nyc, and then it was a handful, and then there were "literally hundreds and hundreds of them" on the fucking beach around six children and just...why. like it's gotta be hard to move THAT MANY FUCKING WOLF MEN, and also how did you get them all here? why are they all here? are they really so bad at their job that you need HUNDREDS to intimidate six children? and also seriously that is ALL THEY DO. one of them gets to punch fang in the face a few times, and it takes like six to hold two of the other bird children but...this still leaves us with HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of werewolves on a beach just like...watching. why.