Why You Mad, Sis?
Man one thing I can’t stand is a sister hating on another sister. As if Black women don’t have enough challenges, we have to turn on each other like a battle scene in Transformers. Like, come on now. Let’s get it together. I have always been the type of chick to gravitate to a sister who....shall I say...got the keys. But many women I meet have it backwards. ASS backwards. They take the woman who seemingly is doing better, has better or brings better to the table and TURN on her and then go and make friends with the mediocre bunch in the room. I never got that. If anything, a sister should want to warm up to someone who would be more likely to help her progress. But, NO, we have to gravitate to the hate, pick snare over share. I recently encountered this at work.
I just started this job and I went in it because I love the field and needed something more predictable than my independent consulting could do for me while I finished my terminal degree. So I go in literally just wanting to do my damn job. And as always, I rocked the shit, if I do say so myself. Humbly. Now there was this chick there who was getting all the attention as the superstar on the team. And she could have the shine. I am simply trying to go to work, finish off my educational path I set for myself and jump my black ass back on my consulting train. The limelight is all yours, sis. Have at it.
BUT I notice that sis throws mad shade in meetings and then blurts out stuff that can rarely be taken any other way than offensive. The last time she did it I was the bigger person and just addressed her like, sis, you may not mean such and such a certain way, but you are offensive, dismissive and seem a lil bitter. I even told her I valued her and her work. I tried to make peace and tell her I looked forward to working with her. But there were a few things I had to understand and radically accept:
1. This chick is bitter and insecure. Point blank period. That’s an inside job and all the affirmation I give ain’t gone have shit on the work she needs to do with her self. That shit is deep rooted, ain’t my fault and I just need to make a cope ahead plan around working with her.
2. When she acts a fool she LOOKS a fool. The last meeting I was in with this chick, she rolled her eyes and made audible huffing sounds whenever I spoke. I started to address her but realized there were other people in the room and she made HERSELF look like an idiot. No assistance required.
3. A thief never tries to rob an empty house. If sis is throwing all this unprovoked shade, she obviously sees something to be worried about. I can just keep doing me and leave her to her insecurities.
4. I extended an olive branch and if she wants to take that branch and plant it in a pile of shit then that is her prerogative to do so. I did my part.
5. Unprovoked shade and sneak dissing just translates into --> B****, you’re a fan. Just admit it, embrace me and move on.
Let me encourage you to NOT spend your nights worrying about why someone acts an ass and a fool towards you. Sometimes it ain’t you. It’s them. I know it sounds like a bad break up cliché, but it’s applicable. Some people have issues deep rooted and not connected to shit you did or your person at all. You are just a tool that reminds them of how mediocre they think they are. Some of those people are actually pretty fabulous folks oblivious to their own greatness. So they take it out on you. Don’t meet them where they are, beat them where they are. The best revenge is continued progress. Don’t let a fool drag you off your square. A man (or sis) can’t pull you down without first already being positioned underneath you. Step over the puddle and keep on down that yellow brick road.
Peace.