#having it

[empressofmankind]

Me: "Time to work on one of my writing W.I.Ps"

My brain: "Or we could write something nobody asked for again, like last week."

Me:

[howyoutalktoyourgrandma]

the aromanticism leaving my body when i listen to etta james

[movedyourchair505]

crispy babe with fans ✨

[hesuited]

tumblr keeps recommending me a jar jar binks blog instead of spy blogs

[ironarchived]

a Vague,,,,, Saltiness ? warnings. see : ;;  Don’T dO the thing ??? bc.... I said So

[infernalcrypt]

it’s wild how easy it is to recognize ocd thought patterns when other ppl verbalize them. it really just follows the same script no matter who’s running it huh..

[popculturealchemy]

activities you can talk through . one's you can't . watching a talk though movie . talk through youtube content . with my friend person not enough relationship labels yet . liking these activities. . puzzle. . group activity . movies . group activity . I'm still watching outside . I want other people to keep track of the show because I want the show to be "over with" but I like it when people keeep track of it for me it feels nice. if we pause it, it will take me out of the movie. i'm just going outside to smoke for a second. can't I be alone for one second. feeling edgy now. you failed test and now something is triggered, not remembering people's movie watching habits/tv habits just so many habits and rituals what even are all of them. "thinking" about people coming over. . "thinking" about people coming over. . huge ball in my chest stress anxiety. my childhood fear. why did I fear that. maybe dealing with shit everywhere not rooted what am I showing you I don't even want to be here . . . maybe loving my thoughts and loving where i'm at attracting bees to make honey. not flies. whatever. i'm bad with metaphor. thought it was cheating. need to remind myself to tell my therapist about that. feels important. my last therapist thought I was joking about not understanding random metaphores. I had a random childhood memory today. really vivid. needed it. my . first. social. interaction. without . parents. and . them leaving. now. on my own. . I felt like other people were cheating? like they knew what to do. weird words. things gluing others together. metaphores. interests. jokings. finding solace hiding. maybe the same time I dissapeared in a gym. scary nightmare from childhood. i'm dealing with. currently. footnotes. when do you stop.