it’s cold and my socks have holes in them, so i should probably get some new ones. seasonal ones, because now i’m an adult with money to do that if i want. and now that i have the choice to choose, well, some with pumpkins or leaves or a moose would be nice.
but right now i lay in my bed with my socks that have holes on them. this morning my love was here taking up my side of the bed, even though i protested. what would we do if we moved in together, who would switch to the other side? (it wouldn’t be for many years if we did, and yet a note of fear still wavers. scary to commit to a time that long, scary to trust that i could love someone else that long and they could love me too, saying yes everyday)
i’ve moved into a place earlier this year and i’ve only slowly been allowing myself to settle in. for many months my place was in a state of being ready to leave at a moments notice, but now i have a couch and a framed painting, so it might be a while longer. i think to myself how this is maybe more representative of my life- afraid to settle and having a plan to leave this too behind when the time comes. have i run from good things this way?
in any case what matters right now is that i need new socks and to make chicken curry because i haven’t had it in awhile. it’s good to have mundane things to worry about. my life continues
