New Year Same Us - Auston Matthews - Nine
a/n: guys we’re so close to the end! only one more chapter after this! I hope you enjoy part nine!
December 31, 2018 - January 1, 2019
Mitch and Stephs New Years party was pretty amazing. They had decorated with shiny banners and confetti and there were hats and beads and glasses to wear to ring in the new year. Everyone was having a good time mingling or dancing or doing their own things. Music softly played through the living room speakers with ease and the NYC countdown was playing on the T.V. Everyone was dressed up and looking their best. And Aus was no different.
I spotted him across the room chatting with Freddie. He wore a simple black suit with a white button up underneath, some of the buttons undone showing his toned chest. He looked hot. I thought he would go for something more bold but he insisted on matching me. I thought it was cute. My silver cocktail dress would for sure clash with the other suit he had in mind, so we compromised. His eyes met mine and I sucked in a slight breath. The twinkle of his gaze really doing it for me as he grinned. I smiled back shaking my head.
He had seemed different since John and Aryne’s wedding. The night that almost was, as I had been referring to it. I had wanted to kiss him badly, but it felt like the timing of it all was horrible. I had decided that night that I was going to try to get over him. I was tired of hearing that we were perfect together and knowing an end for us was never in sight. And then he goes and pulls me back in with his lingering touch and lips ever so slightly ghosting over mine.
An almost. A should’ve been.
Since then he’s made subtle changes. In the kitchen he would put a hand on my lower back as he brushed past me to grab something from the fridge. He’d been sneaking into my room late at night, just to talk or snuggle. And every time we go out he keeps an arm slung around my waist and eyes down every guy in the vicinity. It’s not fair, honestly. That he gets to stake a claim without the weight of officiality looming over his shoulders. It felt like he had decided to dance around whatever this was. And I was over it. My heart felt like it was being pulled in different directions. Option one was listening to my heart and diving head first into us, and the option two was telling me to listen to my head. And my head kept telling me that I would ruin us, some way, somehow, and I didn’t want that.
But for now, I would happily ignore all of that just to have a good time with my friends. I constantly needed a distraction from will-we-won’t-we with Auston, so I decided tonight that I would let him do his own thing and see where it took us.
It felt like there were so many things going on, but maybe a refill would do the trick. I found myself in the kitchen, looking through the fridge for something to make a mixed drink with. One drink was not doing me enough of a service tonight, but I wasn’t planning on having more than 2. Maybe 2 and a half at the most.
I pulled out some champagne and orange juice when I heard a voice from behind the fridge door. “Aren’t mimosas a morning kinda drink?” Willy asked as he shut the fridge door. He leaned casually against the wall and watched me fix my concoction with a smirk on his face. I flipped him off, but smiled as he opened the fridge back up to let me put the drinks away.
“No William. Can’t a woman drink what she wants? It’s new years, you think you could let me live a little.” I grab my drink and swirl it around as I move to step out of the kitchen but he steps in front of me, not allowing me to pass. I flick my eyes up to glare at him but he just laughs and grabs my wrists swinging them a little in front of us. I steadied our hands but he still lightly held me there.
“You seem like you're already over the night and it’s only begun. Wanna play a game?” He smirked.
“I am not up for your shenanigans tonight William!!! I mean business. And I absolutely can not be drunk.” I took my wrists back, one of which had my drink, and took a long sip.
He glared at my drink, “Sure, ‘absolutely can not be drunk’ my ass. Why can’t you live a little tonight? It’ll be funnnnn. Besides it’s fucking New Years. You deserve to be plastered (Y/N).”
I glanced around the room and spotted Auston, he had moved on from Freddie to Steph, and I wondered what they were talking about, both wearing serious expressions. “Just trying to keep a clear head is all.” I mumbled. I was about done with all the feelings swirling around in my head and my heart, and I wasn’t sure I could keep them in if I got plastered. Especially with the way he had been acting lately. What a mess that would be. So for now I keep tabs on how much I’ve had to drink.
“(Y/N/N)” Willy grabs my attention again, having picked up on my worries and this time he’s a little more serious, giving me a knowing look, “don’t worry about anything. Just worry about you. You know how to have a good time. Don’t let what ifs plague you tonight. I promise you everything will workout.” I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.
“Thanks Will. That’s just what I needed to hear.” I mumbled into his chest.
He pulled me back his smile turning into a smirk like a switch had been flipped, “game?”
I rolled my eyes, but smiled all the same, “what game? Is it a drinking game? You’re such a fucking child.”
I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist and pull me in closer. His toned chest hit my back before he spoke, “yeah what game William. You fucking child.”
I laughed swatting his hands that only tightened around me as I looked up at him. The height difference was kinda perfect actually. He glanced down, giving me a wink as I gave up my struggles of escaping his grip. He rested his chin on my head as Will looked at us with a smirk.
“I'm the child here?” He playfully asked, “We’ve got options. Captain Dickhead? Truth or Dare? What Are The Odds? Seven Minutes in Heaven? Fear Pong? What do we want?!?”
“Truth or Dare?” I deadpanned, “This is exactly why you aren’t in charge of this shit!” I laughed.
“Hey you never know what can happen with the right people at the right time. It can be… fun?!” He chuckled and threw me a wink. I knew what he was doing. I wanted to kick that mischievous little smirk right off his pretty face. I could see right past his feigned innocence here.
“Are you buying this shit?” I turned in Auston’s embrace to look up at him, and he looked back down at me.
He shrugged, “Captain Dickhead is always fun.”
“I don’t wanna be drunkkkk.” I grumbled.
“Whyyyy notttttt.” Auston teased but his eyes softened as he looked down at me, “you know if you wanted to I would take care of you. I haven’t had a drink yet.”
I squeezed his arm in thanks, “I appreciate it, I’m just not in the mood tonight.”
“It’s New Years this is the best mood!” Willy exclaimed but dropped it when I glared at him.
“Can’t I just be soberish damn it! We already went over this!” I laughed. Auston shook his head at the two of us.
“Fine, What are the odds?” Willy crosses his arms exasperated. “That can be sober!”
“I hate you.” I laughed. “I don’t wanna play your games Willy. I can already tell you have some plan formulating that I don’t want to be apart of.” Willy’s calculated expression wore off as I smiled. I pried myself out of Auston’s grip as I went to pat Will on the shoulder. “Sorry for being a buzzkill buddy!” I turned and saw confusion on Auston’s face as I walked past him, grabbing my jacket from the rack, and cradling my drink out to the balcony.
The cool air of the night settled in my lungs as I rested my arms out on the glass railing. The city lights roaring to life as the clock got closer and closer to midnight.
I knew what Will was doing. He and Kappy were probably scheming some way to force Auston and I into a situation that would turn out embarrassing for me or something.
I didn’t want our first of anything to be forced. I wanted him to want me because he had feelings for me, not because we were drunk at some wedding, or Kap and Will made a stupid bet or meddled as per usual. I wanted him to want me, but not like that.
I shoved my thoughts aside, taking an alarmingly large sip of my drink, more like a gulp, and stared out at the sky. This was bullshit. I should be inside having fun with my friends, not trying to clear my thoughts as I overthink like I always do. I toyed at the sleeve of my dress, thinking back to when we were kids, how easy things were when the pressure of liking someone didn’t exist. When we were just us. Before I even thought of us as an “us”.
I heard the door slide open and turned to see who it was. Steph stepped out onto the balcony with me, the metallic material of her red dress shining against the moonlight.
“Hey.” She says softly, coming to stand next to me. I look at her, my expression wavering as I almost let out a few tears in frustration. “Oh honey.” She pulls me into her grasp and I lean into her. She drags me over to the breakfast chairs and slyly pulls my jacket and drink from me to set them down on the table. I sit with a huff and just breath for a minute as Steph just holds my hands. I’m thankful that she gets me, and let me collect myself before listening to me.
“Willy, god love him, he kinda irked me back there.” I say. She looks at me confused as I continue. “He was all like ‘ I get you, don’t worry about anything’ and then he was all ‘let’s play a game with the right people at the right time and see what happens’ like no.”
Steph just laughs and I can’t help but let my frown fall away as I laugh with her.
“(Y/N), don’t worry about Will. He just wants you guys to be together as much as the next guy so he meddles a little bit.”
“I won’t let him meddle.” I smile, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes.
She looks at me seriously, observing me before speaking, “is this why you don’t wanna be drunk tonight?”
I nod, “I just don’t want to ruin anything, and I know what will happen the minute I get out of control,” my hands fall to my lap as I play with my fingers, clasping and unclasping them to distract myself. I had meticulously avoided drinking the last few times we all went out together. I felt like I would be overkill if I let myself off my own leash. “I don’t want to ruin anything.” I mumble.
“(Y/N), babe,” she pauses, “why don’t you just tell him? You’ve been sitting with this on your chest for years now. And you’ve been dealing with it by yourself. Just let yourself breath.” she pats my hand in my lap.
“I can’t just come out and tell him I love him.” I suck in a breath. “I don’t think I could bear the rejection from him. Not from Aus. I care too much about him to lose him this way.” I stress.
“What makes you think it would automatically be rejection? How do you not see it?” She smiles before getting up and pulling me with her. I arched a brow. “Take a moment, but then go back in there and have fun. You deserve it.” She gave me a quick squeeze and headed back inside as I found my way back to the railing.
I took a breath and closed my eyes as I just focused on clearing my mind. It was peaceful out here. The city was different at night. It felt more alive.
I heard the balcony door slide open and click shut for the second time, as footsteps came to a heavy stop next to me. It was silent for a second, just the sound of the city in the background. The air was charged around us, like he had something to say but couldn’t quite say it and I held my breath. He rested his hands on the balcony next to me, letting out a sigh before he spoke, “Were you ever going to tell me how you felt?”
I turned to look at him then, eyes wide in shock and the embarrassment I felt was surely showing on my face, “I uh-how did you-“. He moved closer then, still not touching me but closing the distance between us slowly, and it felt like I was suffocating in his presence. “You weren’t meant to hear that.” I breathed lowly, scared that if I spoke louder maybe I would break. The chill of the Toronto air had set in and I shrugged my leather jacket over my shoulders, wrapping it tighter around me and allowing my arms to subtly wrap around themselves. But Auston saw through me. He reached out and gently peeled my arms from around myself and brought me closer to him, his scent, his voice, his presence invading my personal space from every angle.
“But I did. I did hear you.” He was so quiet I almost didn’t hear the words escape past his lips. His forehead rested on mine and his lips were so, so close. All I had to do was push up on my tip toes and his mouth would finally be on mine.
“And?” I breathed in anticipation, eyes lidded and heart racing so fast it could beat out of my chest. When did this go from me being fearful of losing him to being wrapped up in him? His fingers traced my hand as one slowly curled around my wrist and the other reached out to my waist to draw me closer.
His eyes flickered down to mine and I could hear the countdown at 10 from the living room. And if he was so cliche as to-
He kissed me on 8. His lips slowly working on mine in long drawls. His grip on my waist tightened and the hand that was in mine slowly cupped my face. His hand feels so masculine against my cheekbones, the calluses coarse against the expanse of my soft skin but I leaned into it. I brought my hands up to his broad shoulders, pushing myself as close to him as humanly possible, feeling his taut muscles ripple against me. His body heat radiated off him and warmed me up in no time. His tongue was slow and calculated in my mouth. I could feel all the passion he felt in that moment and it caused me to whimper in response. Which in turn made him tighten his grip on me. He tasted sweet like dessert wine. I could hear the cheers of our friends as they rang in the new year but I just I smiled into him. I felt him smile back as I slowly pulled away and caught my breath.
Somehow both of his hands found their way to my waist, keeping me flat against him. I clasped my hands around his neck and scrunch my nose as he leaned his forehead back to mine gently. I close my eyes and revel in the feeling of him against me.“That was-“
“I’m in love with you.” He interrupted and I opened my eyes. “You wha-“
“I’ve been in love with you for way too long... I just didn’t realize it. And you’ve been right in front of me this whole time. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before or why it took me so long to admit, but,” the city lights reflected in his eyes making them glimmer as he looked down at me, sincerity gracing his face, “It seems like everyone else caught on before I did. I never want to lose you. My best friend. I always want to be that for you. But I can’t just settle for it either.” His smirk started to peak out at the corners of his mouth, as I felt myself start to smile a little at the normalcy of it. This. This felt normal. That stupid smirk too.
“I need you to be mine.” He says slowly, like he’s scared, that after all of that, that I would somehow say no.
“All you had to do was ask.” I smile as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I felt a little more confident about my feelings now.
“I love you, Auston Matthews. Nothing has ever changed that, and nothing ever will.” I place both hands on his cheeks and give him a lingering peck on the lips. His eyes flutter open, staring into mine fervently, and I start softly, “I’ve been in love with you since we were 16 and you dragged me out on the ice. You were so mad about the outcome after your game. But you didn’t say anything about it. You just laced me up after it was over and said you could think better when I was there. I never took that too lightly.” I grinned at the look of awe on his face as he sat down in the chair I was previously in and pulled me down with him. I faced him on his lap as he placed his lips over mine again, thumb lightly rubbing a circular path along my jaw. And as he pulled away I caught my breath.
“I’m glad I get to do that anytime I want now.” He smirked.
“Anytime you want?” I played.
“Anytime,” he pecked along my jaw and I instinctively closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his lips burning on my skin, “anywhere.” He kissed my lips again but I was the one who pulled back this time.
“Happy New Year Aus.”
“It is now.” He grinned and I lightly swatted him, his laughter filling my ears, “that’s not going to change is it?”
“Same old us, you still want your best friend right?” I smirked.
He smiled genuinely. The one that filled my heart to the brim, “Same us, (Y/N/N).”
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